Lover of Words

Eighteen

7.1.21

Last night I had a dream about you

And I take it as my cue

I've never been farther

Just close enough to admire your every laughter

I thought I am standing in a safe distance

But before I know, all of my senses are gone

I wanted more

So I get closer, and closer

Only to receive that cold stares

Only to feel unwanted

Only to be destructed

I saw all of this coming

But since you're the only love I know,

I keep on running

In my dream,

All of them left you

It was pitch dark

And I couldn't understand

Why you're left there alone

I was in a safe zone

I was in the light

I'm not that happy but at least I am not hurting

I could've turn around and left you too

I could've save me

From that chaotic place you're in

But I guess the first time I was there, didn't hurt enough

I run to you

Only to find out that you turned into a monster

But that didn't even made me blink

I stood there

I told you to take my hand

And we'll run away

I said I'll get you out of here

and begged you to come into the lights with me

Guess that's what they meant when

they say love is powerful

But so as pain

I lend my hand to you

I waited for a very long time

But you chased me away

I got scared cause it was worse than the monsters in my dreams

It was you,

The one I love the most

I left not because I am scared

but because you told me to

Maybe somewhere in this world

there's an another angel meant to save you

And her hands will take you home

Her love will bring you life

I know for a long time that that's not me

I just had to try

I just had to stay a little bit longer

I just had to play until I run out of cards

But perhaps, someone waits for me too

Someone I don't have to save

Someone who'll make me realize that love isn't about monsters and darkness

It's not about standing there with your most broken self

It's not about emptying your hand when you have important things to hold

It's not about waiting with scars and wounds you just refuse to heal

Love should not be blind

Love should not be foolish

Love should be loving someone
without neglecting yourself