Amends (Sambucky)

Chapter Three

"I'm not sleeping in a fucking forest."

"Then take watch," Sharon retorted as she balled up her jacket to sleep on, "I doubt we're the only ones trying to catch a meeting with the powerbroker."

Bucky crossed his arms from where he was leaned against a tree, watching. He didn't say anything else, knowing that there was no point.

"You can switch off with me; I don't mind," Sam offered, but again, no response. Sam still held his own small grudge from the second dispute, so he didn't put up much of a fight, "Just wake me if you get tired then."

Bucky bottled his anger in his fists, hating how he was just supposed to listen to what Sharon said. He wanted more than anything to be offered a little more control, not merely considered when it came to making decisions. If they just listened to him how he and Sam listened to Sharon.

Before his fall, people looked to him naturally, and he lead as such. He loved being able to be a safe spot of Steve, or a role model to his fellow soldiers. When he fell, he lost all of that. He didn't get to make large decisions like the turning of himself into the winter soldier, let alone small ones like when he got to sleep. He lost the trust of everyone he met as a result because how could people look to him for their decisions when he couldn't make his own?

All this time he'd just been going through the motions: go to therapy, go get a date; go write in a journal— all things he was either told, or forced to do. The worst part was, he couldn't really blame the people around him. He couldn't blame them for not trusting him with decisions because he didn't trust himself with decisions. Sure, he doesn't turn into the winter soldier with a few words anymore, but who's to say he won't be triggered by something else?

Take the previous night for example, he had a nightmare. One of his better ones for that matter, and yet, it still took all of his strength to not hurt Sam. In all fairness, Sam and Sharon had every right not to trust Bucky because even he thought himself a monster. Yeah, it didn't make it hurt any less, but at least they had a reason.

So that's why he stood watch.

That's why he didn't say anything when Sharon kept waking up to check on him, and why he didn't say anything when Sharon forced them to leave when she obviously could have used more sleep. He didn't need Sam to do anything to show his suspicions because he had already blatantly said it. He didn't trust Bucky.

"I think we should split up, cover more ground," Sharon stopped walking.

"This is taking a long time," Sam agreed, before turning to Bucky, "What do you think?"

"I think it's stupid."

"So we'll just keep wasting days trying to cover this forest while the powerbroker does God knows what?" Sharon raised her eyebrow, "Look, if you're so afraid of being ditched, then stay with me for all I care. Sam, you take the left, we'll take the right. Call if you need something," Sharon stated, only for Bucky to object again,

"We can't send him out alone with sketchy service. Like it or not, we can't have Captain America's dead body in Romania."

"Okay then, you go with him," Sharon suggested, "Keep him from being seen."

"So you can ditch us here? Yeah, no," Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Sam grabbed their attention, "I'll take the right with Sharon; Buck, you take the left. In four hours, we'll meet back right here. If no one calls in late, and it's ten minutes past, then we get help. That okay?"