Amends (Sambucky)

Chapter Fourty-Three

"I would love to take you out sometime."

"What?"

"Like, on a date. Not murder," Bucky readjusted his grip on the wheel, unsure as to why he was always the one driving, "I thought that was pretty clear, but I guess I can see how maybe-,"

"No, yeah I got that," Sam grinned slightly, turning to look out of the window.

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Bucky nodded his head, "Okay..."

They rode in silence, before Bucky glanced over at Sam, "You always duck away when you smile."

"Do I?" he laughed.

"You do."

"Well....if we survive this," Sam looked at his hands, "I would love for you to take me out on a date."

"Don't say that," Bucky muttered, "You're going to make it out."

Sam's features softened, "I know, but we can't be sure—,"

"I can." Bucky shifted, his voice hardening as he recalled Sarah's farewell to him that morning.

"Alright," Sam conceded, watching Bucky in concern. He could feel the tension radiating off of him; he didn't do well at hiding his stress, "Bucky?"

"Hm?"

"I'm happy with the life I've lived," Sam tried to ease the pressure, "It's my decision to do what I do, and I don't take it lightly. I'm grateful that I had so much time to spend here, not every one has that chance, and I've spent it well."

"Really?" Bucky tilted his head, keeping his eyes on the road, "I'm surprised."

Sam couldn't hide his surprise, but he bit the bait, "Why?"

"I would've believed you a couple of months ago," Bucky tried to explain, "But now I see that how much you limit yourself. And I know you're happy with what you have— and that's great— but it also wouldn't hurt to loosen up a little."

Sam raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Bucky shrugged, "Like when we danced for the first time. Before I asked you, it was so obvious how badly you wanted to go, but you were so scared of what other people would think that you wouldn't even give it a try."

Sam didn't respond.

"I guess I'm just saying that you haven't given yourself the chance to really do what you want. Explore different options, try new things."

"I try new things-,"

"Sam."

"I do! Really," Sam insisted, before giving in slightly, "I mean, there are a couple of things I enjoy that I put off for my work-,"

"For your appearance."

"-but I'm working on it," Sam finished with a glare, "You on the other hand? You're not even trying. You just follow everything I do because you're scared to make your own decisions."

"I'm not scared."

"Are you sure?"

Bucky glanced out the mirror, then sighed, "You know if we keep this up, we'll never pass for the crazy-in-love couple Sharon wants us to be."

"We just have to manage for a couple hours," Sam pointed out simply, "Fake it."

"I don't have to fake anything," Bucky corrected, pulling into the motel that they'd get ready in and take a small nap, "I make my decisions consciously; I don't waste a single one. Any time spent with you, is well spent."