Amends (Sambucky)

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Bucky? Psst.....Bucky, wake up!"

Riley continued to sit on the bed for a moment, before nudging the man yet again, "Bucky!"

"Fuck off!" Bucky huffed, rolling over so that he was facing the wall, "Asshole."

"Dude, you have to get up. Your phone's been ringing non-stop— someone clearly wants to talk to you," Riley explained.

Every fiber in Bucky's being willed him not to move because his sleep was so restless. Despite that, Bucky pushed himself up and grabbed the phone from Riley's hand.

"What?" Bucky snapped.

"I was just checking in; you missed our scheduled call last night," Dr. Raynor paused, "Is this a bad time?"

Bucky sighed as he ran a hand over his face, "Yes."

"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?"

"No. No, I don't," Bucky hung up, flopping back down on the bed.

Self control is a finite resource, for some more than others. And perhaps it was because Bucky was anxious about how he felt about Sam, or maybe because he hated being stuck with Riley, but he didn't foresee himself having any control that day. He was pissed off, and nothing could really help that.

Before his nightmares, he liked to sleep on days like these, when he couldn't bear to say something nice. When Bucky's nightmares were on and off. His mind and heart caught in a fight between what he wanted and what he believed to be right— a dilemma he didn't even want to have. Needless to say, he was emotionally drained. He had no more energy to give to Riley's feelings, nor did he have the energy to care.

"Sam asked you to his room," Riley informed as he opened his phone, "Sounded pretty urgent."

"He can wait," Bucky spoke gruffly as he readjusted for more sleep, "I'll talk to him when he walks his ass ten feet to tell me himself."

"Want me to tell him that?"

A brief pause,

"No."

"You have to get up," Riley informed, watching as Bucky didn't move.

"No, I don't," Bucky continued, "That's the funny thing about freedom."

Riley's head tilted.

"Wanna know another funny thing about freedom?" he started, "Not everyone should have it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bucky immediately sat up, but Riley had already tuned him out.

Bucky got out of bed.

~~~~~

Sam sniffed, before groaning, reminiscing on all the times his nose hadn't bothered him so much. He had been sitting at the counter in Sharon's previous room, a blanket hung over his shoulder's despite his high temperature.

"Is he coming?" Sam asked hopefully as Riley walked in.

"Uh, no- erm, I don't think he is," Riley answered honestly, continuing when Sam's face dropped, "Sorry, love."

"No, no-," Sam cut himself off with a cough, "It's alright! Sorry, I-,"

"All good," Riley waved Sam off, making his way to the fridge, "Any particular reason you're going through all of this, or...?"