I like you

8. The Art of Letting go

Levi and Hanji are laying in a carpet in the floor, one next to the other, they've been talking for a while, Hanji had been making somewhat impertinent comments about Levi's problems with Eren

I'm with you on this one but...

There are no buts, he has absolutely no reason to be jealous of him

Buts hehe

Come on four eyes, focus

Okay okay, here's what I think

Every time he's seen you with Erwin it's been compromising, to say the least

How!??

He's hitting on you and you let him and from what you describe Eren's a pretty touchy lovey boy, it's only natural for him that he wants to show you his love. You don't let him but you let Erwin and why?

Well because I... I love him

WHAAAT?

Not like that. He was everything to me once. It was before I was diagnosed with depression

Oh no, I'm not good at serious talks, Levi

I'm not going to get all sappy, let's say it's for research purposes... anyways I was fucked up, experimented with drugs, I was even homeless for a while until I met him

This is starting to sound like an Oscar winning love story

I don't know no Oscars, stop interrupting shit glasses. The thing is I depended too much on him, he basically saved my life, I started going to college because of him, I went to the psychiatrist and started taking meds, which worked.

Then what happened!?

Hanji was now really intrigued and felt as if she was watching a telenovela

We were happy for a while, living together, he worked, I went to my classes but we started drifting apart, I didn't rely on him that much anymore and he noticed. He felt alone and one day when I got home I found him with someone else.

Nooooo, that bastard!

I knew it wasn't love, he just got lonely but... I was scared of slipping back to when it was really bad, so I left and told myself it was the right thing to do, the brave thing to do but the truth is I was just scared...

Keep going, should I be writing this and plagarize your story?

Levi sat forwards, placing his elbows on his legs, grabbing his head with his hands and looking distressed

The thing is that I couldn't function without him. I was fine for a while, got a job but I couldn't handle both things and I couldn't stop working so I left school, I couldn't afford my meds either and I just felt like such a fuck up. I barely lasted a year until I came looking back for him and asked him for help

And he did

Yes, he gave me a job and hooked me up with a chinese restaurant owner who sublets a crappy apartment complex above his shit restaurant. And it's a crap way of living but I know it can get worse.

Then that's why...

Yes, he has saved my life twice now and part of me wishes I could love him as something more than friends, that we could be together again, but I don't and I have already caused him too much pain. I like Eren, I do but this is just fucking me up again

Why don't you tell him all of this?

I can't, he's perfect, kind, happy and I already feel like I'm ruining him and it's embarrassing, I don't want to go around telling everyone how I'm alone, depressed and poor, everyone starts treating you differently...

Levi had gone through telling his story with not even a quiver in his voice but now a few tears started streaming down his face

I wont't treat you any different shorty, you're not your past but you are better because of it

I did just walked into this, didn't I? Having an emotional conversation

Yeah, you did

They both starting to laugh lightly

Thanks for telling me all this, Levi

It's I just that I really don't know what to do...

I think you do. You have to choose.

NOTES: I'm actually kind of proud of this one, made myself cry but then again I'm a softy

NEXT CHAPTER: WHO IS LEVI CHOOSING??

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters or anything related to Attack On Titan belongs to me. It is in it's entirety intellectual property of Hajime Isayama.