to love someone else

Chapter 34: helm's deep

Night had almost fallen when they reached the fort in Helm's Deep. ''So few... So few of you have returned,'' Èowyn almost whispered when she saw them, but Aerin barely had the strength to stand, she did not bother to explain anything to her. ''Lord Aragorn... where is he?!''

''He fell,'' Gimli said. Èowyn looked shocked, before she started tearing up. Aerin wished she was able to comfort her. She simply looked at Aerin, and she saw the pain in her eyes, but Aerin said nothing; she only walked past her. Aerin could hear King Théoden's orders in the back, ''Draw all our forces behind the wall! Bar the gate, and set a watch on the surround! Get the women and children into the caves! Saruman's arm would have grown long indeed if he thinks he can reach us here.'' The night came oddly peaceful and as hours passed it became clear that they were not going to be attacked that night. Aerin went into the caves to see if she could be helpful with the people and children. She couldn't have possibly helped anyone in the state of complete disillusionment that she was.

She did not sleep for long during the night, only a few hours altogether. She was restless; she kept waking up and instinctively checking if my sword was by her side. Nightmares plagued her. None awoke her violently - she seemed to have made peace with the horror, as sad as it sounds. The dream that upset me wasn't a nightmare at all. She dreamt of Aragorn. It was a short dream, and all I remember of it was our conversation, echoing in my mind on and on. She also dreamt of her sisters reaction to hearing about the death of her lover. Oddly enough, Aerin woke up with wet cheeks and heartache. What she didn't feel awake due to the shock, hit her in her dreams. It was the worst type of hopelessness, when you don't know what's worse - your dreams or your reality. ''It was just a dream,'' Aerin heard Legolas say softly. He was right beside her. ''Rest some more.''

''Oh, it's useless. I cannot sleep anymore.'' She grumped trying to stand up. ''You will need the strength tomorrow,'' he said, brushing away a strand of her hair from her face. Aerin did not answer. ''Legolas...''

''Hm?''

''You sounded angry with me yesterday.''

''I was.''

''Why?''

''Because you wandered off. You cannot wander off again.''

''I did not mean to wander off. I guess I was just a bit careless.''

''I told you to be careful. You cannot afford one more mistake like that.''

''I know. I'm sorry I worried you,'' Aerin said, as she knew it was something that should be said at the moment, but she was still so traumatised that she barely felt anything. ''Stay close to me from now on,'' he said. ''Why?'' She questioned looking into his eyes. ''It will bring me comfort.''

"But why?" She questioned again. "That is something you'll never understand." Legolas answered with a sad expression and he walked away over to Gimli.

...

In the morning Aerin woke up to rumours and whispers among the people. At first she paid no heed to what seemed to spread like wildfire, but once she actually heard it, her heart started beating hard with excitement. She couldn't be sure, and she couldn't make any conclusions, and she surely couldn't create any expectations because a disappointment after that would have killed me. She jumped on her feet hastily and sought Legolas. ''I've heard something. I'm not sure- I- I don't know what's happening- I-,'' Aerin spoke to him incoherently. ''What is it?!'' he asked. ''I- I don't know. I'm not sure.'' But then they heard it from the Rohirrim, both of them. And they needn't have said more - one look was all it took for them to understand each other and run outside with all their might.

Making her way through the crowd, Aerin saw that it was true. Aragorn was there, standing right in front of her. He looked tired and broken, but he was alive - and she could not believe it. Her eyes saw it, but her brain could not process it. Her heart started beating faster and her limbs started shaking. But she could not move from where she was standing, not for a while. Aerin was frozen. ''Where is he?! Where is he?! Get out of my way! I'm gonna kill him!'' Aerin saw Gimli making his way through the crowd. ''You are the luckiest, the cunningest, and most reckless man I ever knew!!'' he exclaimed before he hugged him tightly, ''Bless you, laddie!''

Aerin stepped ahead. One foot, two feet, three feet; and then she stood there and cried. Those weren't tears of sadness or joy or anything of the sort - she was weeping like a child. It just sort of poured out of her, like some sort of relief, and she sobbed like only a child would. It would have been embarrassing, had she cared at the moment. Aragorn looked at her apologetically; he looked like he could start crying with her.  He didn't say anything to her; he just hugged Aerin and she wept into his clothes. She didn't know how he held me considering how bruised and battered he was. ''Don't- ever- do that- again-,'' Aerin spoke through sobs - sobs so violent, they sounded like hiccups. ''I will not.''

''Don't you- dare- leave us-'' He didn't say anything to that; he only held her some more. ''Le abdollen (You're late),'' Legolas told him, ''You look terrible.'' Aragorn laughed. What was even more odd was that so did Aerin, through all her tears. ''We have something for you,'' Aerin remembered, having calmed herself from the shock, ''Legolas?'' Legolas reached for his pocket and handed the Evenstar over to Aragorn. ''Hannon le,'' he said with utmost gratefulness almost shimmering in his eyes, ''But I have news for the King. Let us hurry.''

....

''A great host, you say?''

''All Isengard is emptied.''

''How many?'' asked King Théoden.

''Ten thousand strong at least,'' answered Aragorn.

''Ten thousand?!''

''It is an army bred for a single purpose - to destroy the world of Men. They will be here by nightfall.''

''Let them come,'' said the King and walked out. The Fellowship followed him.