The Friend Zone

Chapter Four: Nicole Kidman, Reborn.

"You didn't tell him?"

"No, Jasmine I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"Yes, Jasmine, I repeat for the hundred's time, I did not." It takes everything with in me not to hang up on her. After all, I was the one who called.

"Well, why not?"

"I decided that I would rather remain friends than risk it."

"Hmm."

"What hmm?"

"I was just thinking, that maybe, you got scared and you took the cowards way out, and you_"

"I didn't get scared, I just decided that_"

"Would you please let me finish? thank you, you took the easy road, you're scared of refusal, that you made up a pitiful excuse to make you feel better about not saying what you felt, you hide behind an armor of friendship, when truly it is fear that has trapped you, you must grow out of your fears and face them, you'll never know till you try."

"Wow," I say, stunned, as you can imagine "Wow, Jasmine, that was strangely poetic."

"Thanks, I got it from Goodman's book of poetry."

I hang up.

I don't think about what Jasmine said, I don't, and I don't spend the whole night wondering what would have happened if I didn't chicken out, which I didn't, I absolutely didn't, Jasmine read a psychology book last year and all of a sudden she thinks she's a goddamn shrink, her analysis is invalid, so is her argument, you know why? Cause Leah Phillips is not a coward! I fight lions goddamn it, I eat Trix for breakfast, I saw 'Saw' 3 times, confessing to the love of my life aka. my best friend that I love him doesn't scare me.

Pffft, scared, huh, dawg is trippin'.

Okay, so I was a little nervous, but so what? I get nervous when I lose mom at the supermarket, I'm a nervous person by habit.

Nervy Nervousa that should be my middle name. Leah Nervy Nervousa Phillips, hopefully Cramer.

After some more word play, which I suck at, I decide that it's time for me to sleep, and force myself into oblivion.

I dress for school and I head to the kitchen for a quick breakfast, hoping that as usually I'll avoid my mother, and her criticism, I need to develop new ways to avoid on her, but right now I'm on an emotional crisis, I have no time for that.

Mom is sitting on the dining table, wearing a pearl necklace.

A pearl necklace!

Who wears a pearl necklace at 8 in the morning!

Who does she think she is, Julia Child?

"Good morning sweetie." she smiles warmly at me, and the 'It’s a trap' meme, pops into my head, I must tread carefully.

"Morning." I say.

"I love what you're wearing today!" she beams at me.

Wh?

Wha?

What?

Did mom just compliment me? Compliment my outfit ensemble of White Stripes T-shirt and my worn out skinny jeans?

Mom who wears pearls at 8 a.m. and insists on wearing a skirt to the gym? Mom who has "Step ford" stamped on her forehead?

Again.

Wh?

Wha?

What?

Isn't it like against their beliefs to give their child a compliment? Aren't they supposed to like make our existence miserable?