The Friend Zone

Chapter Nine: And The Truth Shall Set You Free.

"Omg!" Jasmine calls me as soon as I get home. "Did you hear? Sam broke up with Sandra, apparently Sandra was all alone in the Coffee Club, and Tyler just happened to be there to get coffee, and he saw, and when he asked her what's wrong she told him the who story, and he told Eric, and Eric told me, and now I'm telling you, how great is that?!!"

"Umm, Jasmine, sorry to disappoint you but I already know."

Pause "What?"

"Yeah, Sam told me."

"And you didn't tell me? What kind of friend are you, how could you not_"

"Hey, hold on a second, I just got home, and I was about to call you, when you rang."

"Oh, okay, cool; then, does that mean that you're going to tell him?"

"I don't know Jasmine, I kinda accepted my fate, and I shall simply remain Jacob Black."

"No, you can say that, because if you say that, that makes you a quitter! And you can't be a quitter."

"Jasmine_"

"Think about it, maybe the reason he broke up with her was because he's subconsciously in love with you, and he just doesn't realize it."

"You really think so?"

"I do."

"You sure, I should tell him?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, next week, but this time, I won't dress up, or excite myself, I won't even think about it much."

"Okay, cool, Umm, Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta go; Eric is supposed to call me any minute now."

I hang up.

*Sigh*.

Did I just promise for the third time, to confess my feelings to Sam? Do I never learn?

Maybe I should give him some time, I mean, the guy just broke up with his girlfriend, but isn't a week enough?

I don't know, all I know is, I’ll probably chicken out, or not get the opportunity to tell him.

You know why? Because fate doesn't want me to be more than a friend.

* * * * * * * * * *

Today is the day.

Today is the day; I supposedly get out of friend zone.

I say supposedly because I was supposed to get out of friend zone four weeks ago.

I'm nervous, but at the same time I'm numb, a part of me is hopeful, yet a part of me is hopeless.

A part is optimistic and another is pessimistic, but mostly I feel numb.

I wear my lucky Star wars T-shirt, and pair it with my lucky black Converse shoes, and because one can never have too much luck, I wear my lucky bracelet, that my dad got for me from his trip to Hawaii, it's also my favorite, a small gold band with leaves and branches intertwined, he said that when he saw it, he immediately thought of me.

I sit at the kitchen, but I don't eat anything, I'm too nervous and my stomach won't allow it, I guess I'm sending a get lost vibe, because my mother doesn't try to pester me, and I just sit there waiting for the familiar honk, that always sent a rush of joy through me, but now I can't help but feel dread.

And as if through the power of wishful thinking the honk sounds, and a rush of joy and anxiety rushes through, I get up and stand on my feet which are suddenly feeling heavy like they're being anchored to the floor, and then drag them through the kitchen, towards the hall, and finally towards the door, which I unlock, and the familiar sight of Sam's blue convertible makes my stomach churn.

"Yo." he says as I climb in, and the best I can do in reply, is a small smile.

"Hey, you okay?" he says when I'm silent for too long.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Sam narrows his eyes at me like he doesn't believe me, and I try not to shake under his scrutinizing test, I think I pass, because he shrugs and returns his attention to the road, or maybe, he's just going with it, because he knows I won't say a thing.

Jasmine waits for me outside the school gates and hugs me, I shake her off.

"Not in public Jas!" I hiss.

She smiles "At least you haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Not even if I was being cut to pieces by a serial killer."

We walk through the hallways stopping momentarily at our lockers to grab out books, and as we resume walking Jasmine whispers in my ear "Relax, you look so stiff."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one who's gonna confess her love for her best friend!" I hiss back.

"Aww! I know you love me Leah, but I don't swing that way."

I laugh, and Jasmine says "Now, that's more like it."

Today is Monday, and lucky for me, I don't have any classes with Sam, so I don't have to see his face every time, and remind myself of what's to come."

I decide that's it’s not the wisest thing for me to confess during lunch, because of the whole 'school in one room' thing, so the most reasonable thing is to do it at the end of the day, I really hope he doesn't reject me, he's my ride.

I crack jokes when I'm nervous,

Between the six and seventh period, I head for my locker to grab some of my books, and as I'm searching through the depths of the metallic hell-hole, Jasmine, comes over, leans against the locker next to mine and very casually say "Did you tell Sam that you're in love with him yet?"

"What?" the shocked voice comes from behind us, and not in my wildest dreams have I imagined this moment to go like this.

"You love me?" Sam says, his eyes are wide, stunned, shocked even, my stomach churns, and I feel like I'm about to be sick.

"Sam, I have always loved you, ever since we were ten, I just was never able to tell you, and then I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way and I would lose you as a friend."

Sam is silent for so long, I'm afraid he had a heart attack.

"Sam, please say something." I plead,

Sam looks really uncomfortable now that the initial shock is gone. "Leah," Oh my god, this is it the moment of truth, I can hear a voice above me 'Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for, the answer you've been dying to hear is' "I don't feel the same way about you." My heart collapses, and I'm one step away from collapsing to the floor and bawling. "I love you, but, you're like a sister to me."

I can feel the tears slipping through my cheeks; Sam wipes them away with his palm.

"Oh, Leah, please don't cry." he cups my chin, slowly I remove his hand from my cheek, and as fast I could run towards the girls bathroom and lock myself into one of the stalls where I sob silently into toilet paper.

Jasmine follows me to the bathroom, "Leah," she calls out as she starts knocking on the stalls, when it's pretty obvious that I'm in the stall with the sobbing sounds coming out of it, but that's Jasmine for you.

"Leah, I'm really sorry, Leah, don't cry, Leah, please come out." Jasmine sits outside for so long, calling me, soothing me, begging me to come out.

"I want my mommy," I cry "I want to go home!"

"Okay, Lee, I'll call her right now."

And as she talks rapidly on the phone with my mom, I keep remembering Sam's words.

I love you, but, you're like a sister to me.

Sister zoned.