A World Behind A Wish 【MewGulf】

🌠Chapter Eight 🌠

----------------------Mew's POV----------------------

I'm the worst...

That day when Gulf said that I'm precious to him and smiled so purely to me I almost blurted out that I love him, it took me a while to notice my own feelings yet I wish I didn't, he sees me as a close friend who was with him from the beginning, I'm sure he would feel like I betrayed his friendship feelings especially that I'm his first friend

On the other hand I couldn't resist not falling for him, in my eyes, he is an innocent beautiful angel, he gets sometime so cute which makes my heart flutters, he is so honest, brave, straightforward and kind, he is perfect and I understand how some of his fans became crazy for him, I myself became crazy to the point of having 'wet' dreams of him

It's gotten harder for me to hold myself back thus I thought it's better to keep my distance, I was trying to settle my feelings and bury them away before he notice yet he was quick to do so, seeing him sad and worried made me hate myself, I felt so guilty, as much as I hold him dear and I adore him, I had to leave so I won't do smth that will scare him for life, I even got afraid of my own crazy thoughts when I'm with him

I just love everything about him, his cute smile, his earth hue sparkling eyes, his softness, his hard work, his seriousness, his thoughtfulness, sometimes he looks so cool and sometimes so adorable which keep making my heart pound loudly as I keep admiring his every move, I completely got enchanted by him

That's why I decided to spend some time away from him until I find a solution to completely control my feelings so we could be close like before yet I just found myself missing him so much, I would think of him all day long and even started daydreaming about kissing and touching him, I was trying to control my feeling yet instead they got out of control

That's how days became weeks and weeks became months, it's has been almost 3 months since I last saw or contacted him, I ignored all his messages and calls, I tried everything, I even asked around but nothing worked and the only way to protect him from me is to cut all contact and make him hate me

I sometimes almost lose myself and pick up the phone to call him but I thankfully stop at the last minute, I could only listen to his voice through the radio or see him on TV, just seeing him on screen is enough to make me so bashful being fascinated by every move or expression he makes, his voice is so pleasant to the point I memorize everything he says, I never imagined I would fall so deep in love with someone like this

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"Mew just tell us what's wrong?" my friend Tad asked, the both looked anxious seeing how gloomy and hurt I'm so I decided to tell them

"do you remember the new friend I made?"

"yes, thanks to him you became more cheerful although you refuse to tell us who" Atid said

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything about him except for the fact he is a man, he is 3 years younger than me, we became close friends and we get along so well but recently I discovered that I..." I looked down not knowing how to confess

"you fell in love with him?" they both asked at the same time surprising me, I looked up widely at them then nodded slightly

"I never thought that smth like this would happen, I never even imagined that my first love would be a man yet I can't help but adoring him" they both smiled patting on my shoulder

"no one can control who his heart choose, it's normal to fall in love with someone regardless of their gender, we already noticed that this mister x means a lot to you after all you changed after meeting him" Tad said