Pairing Hearts |louis tomlinson|

Chapter Eighteen

After a week of school, Marcy and Bailey came to the apartment in a panic. "Kate, you need to sit down," Marcy said almost as soon as she walked in the door.
"It's good to see you too," I said sarcastically, but the look on Bailey's face made me instantly sober.
"What's going on?" I asked crossing my arms.
"Is Louis here?" Bailey asked looking around.
"He's on his way back from grabbing takeout," I answered. "He should be back any minute."
"We can wait for him," Marcy said and Bailey nodded. They both walked over and sat on the couch.
"You can't just come in here looking the way you do and make me wait..."
"Hey what's going on?" Louis laughed. "Heard you shouting from downstairs."
I gestured to the sober faces of my friends. "They wouldn't tell me what was going on until you got here," I said annoyed.
"Well I'm here now," Louis said patting my hand and bringing me over to the couch.
"You have to watch this," Marcy said handing me her phone. I looked up at Louis, who just shrugged. He watched over my shoulder as I pressed play. I instantly got a sick feeling in my stomach when Harry's face appeared.
"Just fast forward the three-minute mark," Bailey said and I looked up to see her face pale. I moved the bar to the three-minute point before pressing play again.
"So Harry you've been a very loud advocate for the women's rights movement during your interviews and tours, tell me why that is."
"Well as you know a majority of my fans are women, but I've also seen through many of my friends just how different our lives are. I mean I was around when both Kate and Ashley Pardeck were raped around the same time. I really saw just how much it affected Kate specifically and so I know just how awful these experiences are."
I stopped the video immediately feeling sick. "Ashley didn't want people to know," I said feeling my breathing start to quicken. "Harry was the only one who knew about mine. I... No one was ever supposed to know." I could feel my heartbeat quickening and I could hardly breathe as the panic started to set in. When my phone started to ring and Ashley's name popped up it went clattering to the floor.
"You have to breathe," Bailey said coming over to place her hands on my shoulders. It was setting in that this was the first time Bailey and Marcy had heard that I was raped. I knew they had a pretty good idea that it had happened before, but now they really knew. I let Bailey guide my breathing before I could finally speak.
"It was a shoot director," I said softly. "He raped me after an LV shoot and then threw the clothes and shoes on top of me as payment. The same day Ashley was raped and so I never told her what happened because she needed me more. They both used us against each other, saying they would ruin our reputations and careers. I never wanted Ashley to know."
Bailey wrapped me in a tight hug her arms around my neck. "She's your sister. She just wants you to be okay, just like all of us."
"She didn't want anyone to know and now he told the whole fucking world," I said wrapping my arms around my stomach.
"She doesn't have to talk about those things if she doesn't want to," Marcy replied.
"I can't go to school anymore," I said bringing my knees up to my chin.
"Kate," Marcy said but Bailey immediately cut her off.
"You don't have to go this week, we can cover for you, but we'll reevaluate next week," Bailey said patting my hand.
"You should talk to Ashley though," Marcy said. "I'm sure she wants to hear your side of the story."
"I will tomorrow. For now, I just want to be alone," I answered looking down at my feet.
"You do what you need to," Bailey said kindly before they left.
"Louis, do you think I'm fucked up?" I asked turning to Louis who had been listening silently.
"No, why would I think that?" Louis asked eyes big. "You're far from fucked up."
"You know about the first one?" I asked looking down at my feet.
"Harry told me," Louis nodded. "I need you to know that I love you," he said meeting my eyes. "Don't ever forget that I love you."
"I love you too," I said pecking his lips.
That night Louis thought I was still asleep, but the sound of my phone ringing for the tenth time had woken me up too.
"Hey Ashley," Louis whispered. "Yeah, listen she promised me she would talk with you about it tomorrow. She's just not feeling great and so I told her to get some sleep. She's asleep right now."
I felt Louis put the phone back on the nightstand and then pull me close again. "I promise I'll keep you safe," he whispered kissing my cheek.
--
When I woke up the next morning the bed was cold. "Lou?" I asked sitting up and looking around the small room it was empty.
"Hey love, I made you some tea," he smiled coming into the doorway.
"I thought you left," I said letting out a breath.
"Nope, you're stuck with me," Louis grinned handing me the cup and slipping back into bed. "How are you doing today?"
"I don't want to think about it right now," I sighed tracing my finger over the rim of the cup.
"I won't make you talk about things you don't want to talk about," Louis said kissing my cheek. When I finished my tea I laid back down resting my head on the pillow and Louis slid down next to me. I traced my fingers over the tattoo over his collar bone. Eventually, he grabbed my fingers and kissed them lightly. My ringing phone shocked us back to reality. Louis turned over to look at the phone resting on the table.
"It's Ashley," Louis said picking up the phone and handing it to me. "You should answer it and talk to her."
I groaned but slid to answer. "Hello?" I asked sitting up.
"Did you just wake up?" She asked.
"No," I replied. "But I am still in bed."
"We have to talk about what Harry said," Ashley answered.
"He's an asshole," I answered softly. "I'm sorry he exposed you. I'm sorry I brought him into our lives."
"He didn't just expose me," Ashley answered. "He said yours happened at the same time. Is it true?"
"It doesn't matter anymore," I sighed as Louis put his head in my lap and traced his finger along my jaw.
"Yes it does," Ashley said and I could tell she was annoyed. "Stop hiding shit from me. I'm always the last to know in your life and that's not how it should be."
"What if I asked you to relive that day right now? How would that make you feel? Just think about someone other than yourself for two fucking minutes," I snapped and Louis instantly sat up wrapping me in his arms.
"Don't yell at her babe," he whispered with a little chuckle.
"Are you seriously with someone else right now?" Ashley huffed.
"Yeah, I'm with Louis because he listens and he doesn't push me and it's not just a one-way street."
"Well we both know you're not the best at connecting with men, so give it a few months and I'm sure he will be raping you or exposing you too," Ashley said and I pulled the phone away from my ear in shock.
"Fuck you," I spit before hanging up and throwing my phone off the bed. I launched myself off the bed before Louis could stop me.
"Babe," Louis said hesitantly.
"I'm taking a shower," I said as the tears started to stream down my cheeks. Maybe Ashley was right. Maybe I shouldn't trust anyone. Maybe I should just stop trying. Maybe being alone was the only way I could ever protect her and myself. I turned on the shower and got in letting out a sob when I knew Louis couldn't hear me. When I got out of the bathroom there was a pair of jeans and a t-shirt laying out for me. Louis wasn't in the room, but I could hear him shuffling around the kitchen.
"Hey beautiful," Louis smiled when I came out of the bedroom. Louis was putting containers into a cooler.
"What are you doing?" I asked leaning against the doorway. I honestly felt sick to my stomach as I thought about whether or not I should just end this now.
"We're going on a picnic," Louis smiled. "You need to feel the sunlight again. This apartment is too small for you to never leave."
"I don't know Lou," I sighed leaning against the doorway.
"It's just today," Louis smiled. "You don't need to leave the apartment ever again if you hate today. Please."
I watched him, the pure kindness and love in his eyes. He bit his lip. "Alright," I nodded. His eyes lit up and he gave me a big grin.
"Just give me a few more minutes," he said. "Do you have a blanket?"
"Yeah," I nodded turning to the hall closet and pulling out a blanket and bringing it back to him.
A few minutes later we were in his car driving down the highway. Louis' held my hand on the center counsel as we drove and I felt like crying. He was humming quietly to the music drifting through the radio, his eyes glancing over at me. Eventually, he pulled off the highway and parked at an empty park.
"You alright love?" Louis asked smiling over at me. I nodded giving him a small smile before I got out of the car. Louis got the bag out of the trunk and then came to walk beside me. He led me over to a patch of green and I helped him spread out the blanket before sitting down.
"I made you a sandwich and I cut up some fruit and some vegetables," he smiled.
"Thank you for doing all this," I said not able to look at him.
"I only want the best for you," Louis replied handing me a sandwich. We sat in silence for a while, before Louis finally broke it.
"Remember when you came to the studio for the first time?" Louis asked laying down and throwing strawberries into his mouth.
"You all were psycho," I grinned.
"That was us on our best behavior," Louis smiled. "Harry made us promise we wouldn't embarrass him. All I wanted to do was embarrass him. I wanted you all to myself even then, but you were so wrapped up in Harry, you didn't even notice me."
"I noticed you," I smiled. "You were the only other guy I took notice of. You were so sweet with Harry and you always spoke your mind. All the other guys were scared of me."
Thinking about the past and how much we had grown since then made my stomach churn. I knew he could tell something was wrong and he was just trying to make me feel better. I laid down so I could rest my head in his lap. He played with my hair making me feel so comfortable and safe. I loved him so much that there was a real chance I was blinded by love and the thought made me want to break down right there.
"Are you ready to go?" Louis asked as my eyes started to drift.
"Yeah," I nodded sitting up. "Can I have Marcy and Bailey over tonight?"
"You don't have to ask me," Louis laughed. "It's your apartment."
I was honestly feeling sick as I texted Marcy and Bailey. I needed a second opinion.