"i always thought doing this would be cheesy but now that we're actually doing it i kind of like it" gus said. we both laid on our backs on top of his 'my chemical romance' fleece blanket. i'm not quite sure why he had it. a few blades of grass poked through the blanket into my back. we stared up at the dark sky contrasted perfectly against the bright white stars. "it's a good night for this" i told him. "any night with you is a good night" gus smiled.
"do you know any constellations?" gus asked. "no" i laughed. "oh thought you would, you seem to be an avid star watcher" he said. "nah i just think they're pretty. i find it very relaxing. i told the stars about you, you know?" i said. "what do you mean?" gus asked. "before we met. i'd lay outside and talk to the sky. i talked all about you, and how i felt about you. i was really nervous to meet you but now i don't know what i'm supposed to do without you" i said, telling gus about my past actions. "really?" that's adorable" gus said.
"it can kinda be our thing. if you ever miss me just like, look at the sky" gus said. "i like that. i don't want to leave" i said. "then don't" gus told me. "how soon can i come back?" i asked. "i don't care if you land in phoenix and catch the immediate flight back to la. i don't care if you ever leave. you know that babe" gus told me. "okay just making sure" i said. "why do you need to make sure?" gus asked. "because i need to say this" i started. "what's this?" he asked.
"i love you gus" i said abruptly. "you do?" he asked, extremely shocked. "yes. you've made such an impact on me in such little time. i really can't picture my days without you anymore. even if it's just texting you, i went to bed thinking about you and woke up waiting to text you again" i told him. i felt a slight anxiety raise in my chest as each second of him not saying it back ticked by.
"i love you too" he said, finally. "sorry i know you just got out of a relationship with that emma girl and there's a lot going on in your life and this is probably really soon but i just felt like this was a good time and everything is just confirming my feelings and i just—i love you" i rambled on. "shh" gus said, kissing me to shut me up. "fuck those other girls. fuck emma. fuck layla too. you're everything i want" gus said, pulling away and caressing the side of my face.
"i can't believe i have to go home tomorrow" i said. "you're coming back. you have to" he said, pulling me into a hug and holding me as tight as he could. "i'm gonna miss you" he mumbled in my ear. "don't get too emotional here. let's enjoy the time we have instead of worrying about the time we don't" i told him. "yeah you're right" he said.
gus sat back down on the blanket, i joined sitting next to him. he pulled a lighter and box of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one. the moonlight was just bright enough you could see the smoke escaping his lips trail off into the air. he held it out to me, offering it to me. i took a drag off of it, letting the smoke warm my lungs and passing it back to him.
i turned over slightly to rest my head on his chest. "you wanna go home soon?" gus asked. "we can stay here a while. it's nice out" i told him. "whatever you like baby" he said. gus and i laid quietly and peacefully under the stars for another while. minimal words spoken but our souls together were telling their own unspoken story.
"you're the only thing i've ever been sure of" gus told me. "i am?" i asked. "yeah. only person i've ever been sure i loved, sure i wanted, sure was right for me. our relationship was crazy and had all odds against us but i was still just sure it would work and it did. so you're like a good luck charm and everything i need in life" he said. "i love you so much" i told him.
"ugh so many fucking mosquitos" i cursed, slapping at the air around me. i was definitely ruining the moment but the bugs had come out of nowhere. "yeah fuck these things" gus said, flapping his arms around the same way i was. "back to the car?" he asked. "yeah please. works for me" i said.
gus and i loaded the stuff back in the car. i sat cross legged in his passenger seat. it was always warm enough in la to drive with the windows down so that's what we did. the wind made my hair fly around in the car, lit up by the street signs and street lamps outside. i plugged my phone into the aux, turning on gus' own music as we drove down the highway.
"babe i'm dating you, you don't have to suck up and play my songs in the car" gus said. "i'm not doing anything. i just really like your songs a lot" i said. "okay then. well good, i've got a few more for you to listen to in the coming weeks" gus told me. i smiled "i can't wait" i said. "if this next album goes well maybe we can go on tour" gus said. "you totally could. let's make it happen" i encouraged. "i love you, even when i feel like giving up or that i don't wanna do music anymore you're just always there to tell me at the right time i can do it. you make me believe in myself more" gus said. "good, as i should you deserve it all. i love you" i said. "i love you too" he told me.
a/n
sorry i decided to get rlly fucking high in the middle of this my bad for any whack shut
