Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 5

As soon as his mother has gone home, a deafening silence fills Joe's room. He looks at his watch, seeing it's almost 5 o'clock. Then he looks outside, only getting more depressed when he sees even the sky is crying hard.
Because of the dark grey clouds covering the sky, it's even a bit dark outside already. The room is filled with grey colours and shadows, sending a shiver down Joe's spine.
The ginger lets himself sink deeper into the mattress of the hospital bed, feeling his head throbbing. He groans softly in annoyance. He is about to press the button to ask for some pain relief, when the door of his room opens.

A young woman with blonde hair enters the room. "Hi Joe." The nurse says kindly.
Joe tries to shoot her a believable smile back, but his head hurts too much for that. "Hi." He mumbles.
She walks over to his bed. "I'm here to take you to another ward." She says before unlocking the wheels of Joe's hospital bed.
The boy frowns. "To the heart patients' ward?" He sighs.
The young nurse nods at that with a gentle smile. "I'm afraid so. After that I'll attach you to all kinds of monitors. It won't take long, I promise." She explains.
Joe nods as a sign he understands. "Could I maybe get something against my headache? Because if it stays as bad as this, I'd rather die already." He lets out a soft chuckle, although the nurse immediately knows he isn't joking.
She raises her eyebrow. "Already?" She asks when she sees the serious look on Joe's face.
Joe shrugs. "I just meant...-" He swallows, not sure how to end the sentence without worrying the nurse.
The young woman sits down on the edge of the bed. "You're not gonna die at all, I promise." She says.
Joe doesn't say anything to that and just looks down.
"Sweetie, please don't start to lose hope because of this." She says a little worried. "It's not worth it. I don't want you to get depressed."
Joe shrugs again. "I already have anxiety, ptsd and panic attacks, so depression might as well be on the list too." He grunts.
The nurse shakes her head fiercely. "Depression is not joining that list. And you're not going to say things like this. You're not going to die. I simply won't let you." She says as she crosses her arms.
That makes a small smile appear on Joe's face. "Sorry. Today has just been a real rollercoaster. And that headache doesn't make it any better. I'm a bit of an emotional wreck I'm afraid." He admits.
The nurse smiles. "Well we can solve the headache problem, luckily. And if you really feel like you need it, we can always have the hospital therapist pop by. Maybe he can help with your anxiety and all the other things on the list. It's my job to look after you." She says with a small wink.
Joe smiles gratefully at her. "Thank you, Miss...?" He tries to read the name on her name tag, but his headache has made his vision too blurry.
The nurse shakes his head with a soft giggle. "Oh sweetie, just call me Lucy. The time you're here you'll be stuck with me as your nurse, so we might as well get along a bit. Plus I'm only 18 years old, and you calling me 'Miss' makes me feel old." Lucy says with a wink, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear.
Joe chuckles softly and nods. "Okay then. Thank you Lucy." He whispers gratefully.

---

Two days later, Joe's hospital room has been brightened up a little bit already.
His mom brought some coloured Christmas lights, to mask the cold white light from the fluorescent tubes in his room.
John took out all his craft supplies, and drew Joe a beautiful drawing of their family. It is now standing on Joe's bedside table framed in a shiny frame.
But despite all that, neither of those things changes the fact that Joe is in the hospital because his heart doesn't function like it should.
Days are ticking by slowly, but are nothing compared to the nights. Weird dreams keep tormenting him, causing him to get more and more anxious with each night that passes.

Joe can hear some voices, but they all sound distant. He doesn't know how, but he just knows he's still in the hospital. Maybe it's the smell of cleanliness.
"He looks so pale...-" He hears next to him. It kind of sounds like Gwil, but it could be someone else as well.
Joe tries to open his eyes, but somehow they stay closed. The harder he tries, the further he feels himself slip away.
"We should wake him. I have a bad feeling." This voice definitely belongs to a woman, so it has to be his mom.
Joe's breath hitches in his throat when he suddenly feels a stinging pain in his chest. While panicking like crazy, he desperately tries to open his eyes.
"His heart rate is dropping even more." Rami's voice says softly.
"M-mommy? Is Joey gonna be okay?"
"Yes, don't worry John."
"I'm pressing the emergency button." The voice of Joe's stepdad says. Not even a second later all kinds of bells and whistles go off.
As the pain in the boy's chest gets more and more intense, breathing gets harder as well.
"We're losing him."
"Joe? Darling, can you hear us?"
With everything he has in him, Joe tries to scream, yell, or at least make a peep to let them know he's here. But no single sound is coming from his throat.
"Joey?"
The moment Joe hears John's voice, sounding so scared, something hits him. His eyes are not going to open anymore. This was the last time he's heard the voices of the people he loves.
Suddenly he feels a hand on his own. A very small hand. "I love you sleepyhead." John says to him. Right after that, everything turns black.

"Joe? Joe wake up! It's just a dream darling." Joe's mom tries to wake up her son by shaking him, but Joe seems too far away to notice.
After another minute of shaking the boy back and forth, Joe's eyes shoot open. Waterfalls of tears stream down his face as a terrified cry leaves his mouth. Then he realises who woke him. "Mom!" He exclaims relieved as his eyes meet the worried look of his mother. He immediately flies into her arms. "Mom... I- I died. It felt so r-real!" The boy sobs during the hug.
Ginnie simply starts to rock back and forth ever so slightly, knowing what to do when her son is panicking. "Shhh, It was just a nightmare honey. You're okay." She gently rubs her hand over Joe's back, hoping to calm him down a little.
Joe clings onto his mother tightly. "D-don't leave me." He pleads.
Ginnie shakes her head. "I won't baby." She whispers.

After a while of simply hugging in silence, Joe pulls away from Ginnie. The tears have stopped flowing, and his body stopped shaking. It isn't until then that he notices Lucy standing in the corner of the room with a very worried look on her face. "H-how are you even here? It's midnight. You... you should be at home." Joe asks his mom a little confused.
Lucy takes a step forward. "I called her. The past thirty minutes you've been tossing and turning, murmuring things like 'I'm dying' and so on. I tried to wake you up, but you were really deep asleep. I figured you'd like to have your mom here after such an intense nightmare." She says with a soft and caring smile.
Joe shows her a tiny smile. "Thank you." He whispers gratefully. "Lucy, thank you so much." He sniffles.
Lucy sits down in a chair next to the bed. "I told you, it's my job to look after you." She says softly. "Look, I meant to talk to you about it earlier, but I'm afraid I forgot. But there's another boy in this ward, from about your age. He's going through the same thing as you, and is having a hard time during the nights as well. If you'd like, we can transfer him to your room. That way the two of you aren't that lonely." She explains.
Joe immediately nods. He would love nothing more than someone to talk to. Someone who understands what he's going through. "Yes, I would really like that. But only if he's okay with it as well."
Lucy smiles and nods. "He is. I already talked to him this afternoon." She gets up from the chair. "I'll leave you two alone now. Sleep well." She says to Joe and his mom before leaving the room.

Joe immediately crawls close to his mom, feeling totally exhausted after this intense nightmare. "I'm sorry you had to come here in the middle of the night because of me." He mumbles. He smiles a little when his mom runs her hand through his hair.
Ginnie holds her son close to her chest. "I don't mind Joey. I'll come over as many times as needed." She says.
Joe closes his eyes and mumbles an 'okay'. But he still feels a little guilty.
"Look at me baby."
The boy opens his eyes again, so he can look at his mom.
"It's okay to still need your mom sometimes. Even when you're fifteen." Ginnie whispers with a wink.
Joe giggles softly and nods. He yawns and closes his eyes. "You are the best mom ever." He mumbles.
Ginnie smiles and gives her son a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight honey."
"Goodnight mom."

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