Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 12

Quick A/N:
Guess what? I turned 18 today. Which, for me, is a big deal. This book tells my story, so you know of my past. I was always promised that I'd never make it past 16. So the fact that I turned 18, turned into an adult, only makes me realise how lucky I am to be here. I want to thank you guys for all the support I've already received through this fanfic.

Love you all♡

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The two days before Ben's surgery, the evening routine of the two boys goes the same as every night. After watching a movie together, they each get wheelchaired to the washroom so they can brush their teeth. They usually cuddle a bit until they get tired.
"You should get some sleep." Ben whispers with a smile when he sees how hard Joe is fighting to keep his eyes open.
Joe snuggles into the blond chest with a soft sigh. "Probably." He yawns.
With a smile, Ben gently slips away from under the boy. "Sleep tight." He whispers. After tucking Joe in, Ben lies down in his own bed again. He crawls back under the duvet of his own bed, leaving Joe alone in his.
"Goodnight." Joe mutters before allowing his eyes to fall close. It doesn't take the boy long to fall asleep, a sudden tiredness taking over his body.
But Ben can't fall asleep at all. He just kept staring at the ceiling. Just staring and staring. Without his noticing, the minutes tick by like seconds.

Because even now, three whole hours later, his eyes are still refusing to close. Thoughts come and pass, making sleep seem even further away. His brain simply won't let him have sleep. The blond moves his gaze from the ceiling to his side, and smiles a little when he sees the sleeping Joe.
The boy has pulled up the duvet to his chin, and has his eyes peacefully closed. His lips are slightly parted, a soft subtle snore slipping through them every once in a while.
Ben turns around so he's now fully facing the sleeping Joe. And despite the small smile appearing on his face at the sight of his roommate, tears start welling up in Ben's eyes. He blinks away his tears and shakes his head. He doesn't want to cry. Not again. He takes a deep breath, knowing he needs a hug right now.

And so, Joe wakes up because of someone crawling in bed with him.
Soft sniffles are heard from the person.
The ginger yawns before putting his arm around the person, knowing it's Ben. "Talk to me Benny." Joe whispers with his eyes still closed when the sniffles turn into soft sobs. When he doesn't get a response, he slowly opens his eyes. "Ben?" He whispers as he starts rubbing his and over the blond's back.
"I'm sorry." Ben sobs before burying his face into Joe's chest.
Joe shakes his head. "Don't apologize Benny. Trust me, I get it." He says.
After a few minutes, Ben's crying slowly gets softer. "S-something just h-hit me." He whispers as he stares straight ahead at the window.
Joe gently rubs his hand over the boy's back. "What is that?" Joe asks.
Ben swallows. "My dad's funeral was five days ago. I- I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him. I owe him so much, and I can't even thank him by giving him the goodbye he deserves. And my mum wasn't there either. It was his funeral and we both weren't there." The boy rattles before letting out a loud sob.
Joe swallows and pulls Ben into a tight hug. "He knows you two love him." He whispers during the hug.
"I- I just miss him so much." Ben chokes out, his tears nearly suffocating him.
Joe nods. "I know Benny, I know. And it's okay to miss him." He whispers while gently running his hand through Ben's blond locks. "It's okay to cry." 
That puts Ben's mind at ease a little. "T-thank you Joey." The blond boy sniffles as he hugs the ginger a little tighter, not wanting to let go of the hug.
Joe obviously notices, and makes sure to keep Ben in his safe embrace. "I'm here." He whispers.