Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 41

"Hey. Can I come in?" Ginnie asks Ben with a gentle smile.
The ride home from the school was filled with total silence. Joe eventually found Ben, but the blond boy hasn't said a word since he stormed out of the principal's office. Even when they arrived at home, Ben immediately walked off to the bedroom.
That's how Ginnie finds him now, lying on their bed in total silence.
Ben slowly starts nodding. "Sure." He mumbles.
And so, Ginnie walks over to the bed. She sits down onto the edge, but doesn't say anything just yet.
After a minute of silence, Ben speaks up. "Sorry for walking out earlier." He whispers.
But Ginnie shakes her head. "Don't worry about it. I understand how hard this must be." She says. She bites her lip when the boy emits a soft sob.
"I miss my mum and dad." Ben sobs. He closes his eyes, his vision already blurred by tears anyway.
"Oh Ben...-" Not sure what to say to make the boy feel better, Ginnie takes Ben's hand to pull him into a hug. "No one should have to go through this. Especially not at freshly seventeen." She whispers.
And even though his body tensed up at first, Ben can feel himself relax in her embrace. "T-thank you." He sniffles.
"Always." Ginnie retorts.
For countless seconds, the two just sit like that on the bed.
After a while, Ben lets go of the hug. "I just want life to be normal again." He whispers.
Ginnie smiles. "About that. The principal came up with a solution." She says.
Ben looks up. "What did he say?"
Ginnie smiles when she sees the hopeful look on Ben's face. "If you like you can go to school until summer vacation. It's only a few more months, but it would give you some time to figure things out." She says.
Ben frowns, and moves his gaze down at his lap. "But that still doesn't give me a visa." He mumbles.
"You don't need one darling. The principal said that you can still go to school. Just unregistered. As long as inspection doesn't drop by you're fine." Ginnie explains.
With a smile on his face, Ben hugs Ginnie. "Thank you. You've all done too much for me." He whispers.
Ginnie shakes her head. "Nonsense darling. We'll be here for you when you need us. And you'll always have a home here." She smiles. "How about we go downstairs, hm? Joe is cooking dinner." She suggests.
Ben gives her a surprised look. "I didn't know that Joe could cook?"
Ginnie giggles softly. "I'm not sure he can, to be honest. He wanted to try making dinner, we can always order pizza if it doesn't work out." She shoots Ben a wink before leaving the room, heading downstairs.

Not much later, Ben too walks downstairs.
He walks into the kitchen, smiling when he sees Joe standing in front of the stove. He walks up behind the boy, putting his arms around Joe's waist. "Hi there my lovely housewife. What are you making?" He whispers.
Joe smiles, happy to hear Ben finally speak again. He leans back a bit so his back is now pressed against Ben's front. "Hey. Are you okay after today?" He asks.
Ben nods, snuggling into the crook of Joe's neck. "I am. Just worried about dinner." He jokes. "So what are we having?"
Joe rolls his eyes with a smile. "Pasta strings." He says as if he just said the most normal thing in the world.
Ben raises his eyebrow. "I don't know much about the American cuisine, but isn't this just spaghetti?" He says.
"Oh, right. I'm sorry, we always call it pasta strings because John can't pronounce spaghetti. So it's actually Italian cuisine" Joe giggles.
That's when John runs into the kitchen to grab himself something to drink.
"Hey John, can you say spaghetti?" Joe asks the boy with a small grin.
John starts beaming. "Pasghetti!" He says full excitement before leaving the kitchen again.
Ben laughs at that. "That's too cute."
Joe turns around, pressing his lips against Ben's. "Let's eat. The pasta strings are ready." He says with a wink.

|||

A week later, it's time for Ben and Joe's first day of school. At 6:30 Am sharp the alarm rings, screaming for the two boys to wake up.
Ben mumbles something before blindly reaching out to the nightstand to turn it off. He opens his eyes with a low grunt when he can't find the snooze button with his eyes closed. After pressing snooze, he turns to Joe, who is still sound asleep. "Rise and shine sweetheart." He whispers with a smile.
Joe shakes his head before pulling the duvet over his head. "Shut up. I don't wanna." He mumbles. "Five more minutes?"
Ben snuggles close to Joe's chest, closing his eyes again. "Mmm okay." He mumbles.
But after five minutes of snoozing, Joe mumbles again what he said before. "Five more minutes Benny?" He asks as the alarm starts ringing again.
Ben lets out a sleepy giggle. "We can't. We still have to shower and have breakfast. We're gonna be late for school otherwise." He says before kissing Joe's temple.
"I wish we could just stay in bed." The ginger mumbles. He opens his eyes, immediately smiling when he looks into Ben's eyes.
"We spent months staying in bed. Come on, we have to get to school." Ben says. He can't help but be a little excited about finally going to school again.
To which Joe only groans.
"You know, we could also take a shower together. That way we could... stay in bed a little while longer." Ben suggests with an illegible expression on his face, his voice low and husky.
Joe looks away, moving his gaze to a spot on the wall. Is Ben really asking for this? "Ben... I- I" He stammers, getting really uncomfortable. "I c-can't. Not for some time, I think. I'm not ready." He adds in a whispering voice. He raises his eyebrow when he sees the confused look on Ben's face.
"Not ready to shower?" Ben asks, genuinely confused. Then he suddenly gets what Joe is thinking. He looks away, his cheeks darkening quickly. "Oh g-gosh. You... You thought I meant s-sex?" He stammers embarrassed, whispering the last word.
Joe avoids his boyfriend's gaze. "Isn't that what you meant then?" He asks.
Ben shakes his head. "N-no, god no. I actually meant taking a shower together to save some time." He explains, hating how embarrassed he gets about this topic. "Joe, I'm not ready yet either."
Joe finally dares to look Ben in the eye. "Sorry I got so flushed." He mumbles.
Ben chuckles softly. He gently grabs Joe's chin, bringing their faces closer together. "Love, look at me. We both got flushed." He closes the gap between them, letting their lips meet for a short but sweet kiss. "I guess it's normal to get a bit embarrassed about stuff like this. We can be embarrassed together. It's good to know we're both on the same page. Besides, I wouldn't want our first time to be a quickie before school." He says with a sweet smile.
Joe smiles relieved. "That's true." But still, he is not totally at ease.
Luckily for him, Ben immediately notices it. "We don't have to take a shower together, don't worry. I was half joking anyway." He reassures his boyfriend.
Joe sighs softly. "Thank you. I'm sorry, I feel so stupid. I don't even know what's holding me back." He mumbles.
Ben smiles. "That's okay. You don't have to put it into words. As long as you know that it is holding you back. I wouldn't ever want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with. Promise me you'll always tell me when you're not ready for something?" He takes Joe's hands in his own, looking the boy in the eye.
Joe smiles and nods. "I will, I promise. Thank you for being so patient with me. I love you."
Ben places small kisses on all of Joe's fingertips. "Baby steps, okay?"
Joe nods. "Baby steps." He whispers with a smile.
"Now get your arse into the shower. I love you." Ben says with a smirk.
Joe giggles and nods, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "Okay then." He says before leaving the room, walking towards the bathroom.

Once both boys are showered and dressed, they make their way downstairs. They're immediately met by the smell of fried eggs and bacon.
"Morning boys! Fancy some eggs?" Will asks the two, just flipping another egg.
The two nod with big smiles. "Sounds great." Joe says as he sits down at the table.
"Where's John?" Ben asks confused, looking around for the little boy. Usually John is the first person to be up and about in the mornings.
Ginnie sighs. "He's still in bed. He has been up all night with a fever, so I told him he has to stay home from school today." She explains, feeling her eyes burn from the long night.
That's when John stumps into the kitchen. "I'm not sick!" He grumbles stubbornly before sitting down at the table.
Joe puts his hand on John's forehead with a frown. "Yes you are. You're burning up." He says. He gets up, lifting up his little brother.
"Joeee! Mom, help!" John whines. He immediately starts struggling to get out of Joe's grip, but gives up after a few seconds as he's too tired to keep protesting.
Joe walks into the living room, and lays John down on the couch. "People who are sick need to rest." He says, covering John with a blanket.
John rolls his eyes. "But I'm not sick." He grumbles.
"John, you are looking at this the wrong way. You get to stay comfy all day, with mom and dad taking care of you. And you get to watch tv all day long." Joe says with a wink. When he sees John's eyes are slowly starting to fall close, he smiles in victory.
John grumbles one last inaudible thing before finally surrendering to sleep.
With a smile, Ben looks at his boyfriend taking care of the little boy.
"So, are you nervous for your first day of school?" Will asks the blond while handing him a plate of fried eggs and bacon.
Ben shows him a small smile. "Thanks." He says. "I am a little, yeah. And I don't even know why." He admits.
Will gives him a reassuring smile. "Well, sometimes a little bit of nervousness is good. That means you're ready." He says with a wink.
Joe walks back into the kitchen, and sits back at the table again. "John's asleep on the couch." He says with a chuckle.
Ginnie smiles. "Thanks Joey. The poor thing must be exhausted." She says.

"Are you ready to leave? We're going to miss the bus if we don't go now." Joe says to Ben when they've finished their eggs.
Ben takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, let's go." He mutters as he gets up.
Ginnie walks over to the boys and hugs them tightly. "Have a great day at school boys." She whispers with a smile. "You got this."