Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 7

Three days after Ben is transferred to Joe's room, the two boys have already gotten to know each other quite well.
Joe keeps wondering how Ben is staying so positive and cheerful in their situation. The ginger himself has had several mental breakdowns in the past few days, which he tried really hard to hide from Ben.
But Ben did notice. It really breaks his heart to see Joe fighting against his thoughts like that. To make sure the boy doesn't get even more stressed, Ben decided to keep acting like he doesn't notice. But besides that, he did decide to help wherever he can to help Joe relax. Because he knows how terrible it feels when you're hiding your troubles and tears.
Their days pretty much consist of the same routine over and over again. A checkup, a gross hospital meal, visitors hour. In between those moments, the two either sleep, watch movies or listen to some music. But today, there is no visitors hour.

"Are you bored Joey?" Ben asks with a giggle when Joe lets out a loud sigh.
The ginger puts on a smile and nods. "Yeah. The battery of my phone and laptop both died, and there's no visitors hour today." Joe sulks.
Ben smiles. "Wanna borrow my phone and earplugs?" He asks, showing Joe his phone.
Joe's eyes light up a little, and he nods with a smile. "Yes, please. But only if you don't wanna use them?" He says, trying not to sound too excited.
Ben shakes his head. "Nah, I'm not in the mood for music. Plus I have a headache, so I think I'm just gonna close my eyes for a nap." He reaches out to his bedside table to grab his phone and earplugs.
Joe looks around in confusion. "Could I maybe borrow your phone charger as well? I can't find mine." He mumbles, not sure where it went.
Ben smiles and nods. "Yeah sure. You will have to catch them though. With these wires attached to my body I can't reach your bed." He says with a smirk.
Joe giggles softly. "Okay. But don't blame me if I don't catch it and your phone dies."
The blond smirks even more. "You better just catch them." Ben says with a raised eyebrow. Without any warning, he tosses his phone and earplugs Joe's way, to the other side of the room.
The latter is just in time to catch them. "Aye! You could've warned, you know!" Joe says, quite startled from the sudden flying objects.
With a content grin, Ben lets his head rest on his pillow. "Yeah, I could've. But I didn't. Enjoy the music." He mutters before burying himself under the duvet and closing his eyes. He lets out a yawn, and can feel himself slowly doze off.
Joe smiles. "Sweet dreams." He mumbles, knowing Ben won't even hear it anymore. He puts his phone in Ben's charger and puts it on his bedside table. After that he puts in the earplugs, putting on some music.

+++

About two hours later, Ben's eyes slowly open because of a humming noise coming from the opposite side of the room. With his head still buried under the duvet, Ben listens to the sound. Then he smiles widely, now hearing that it isn't just some humming sound.
It's Joe humming along with the music he's listening to. Here and there the ginger mumbles some words, causing Ben to now recognize which song he is listening to: Somebody To Love by Queen.
Ben pulls down the duvet just a few inches, the bright daylight now shining into his eyes. He blinks a few times, giving his eyes the time to adjust. Once he can see properly again, the blond boy just stares at Joe with a small smile.
The ginger has his eyes closed, and hasn't noticed that Ben's awake yet.
Listening to Joe's soft vulnerable voice, Ben feels himself getting drowsy again. With all he has in him, he tries to keep his eyes open so he can keep admiring the ginger boy.
Then Joe opens his eyes, catching Ben staring at him. "Oh gosh, am I keeping you awake? I'll shut up, sorry." Joe rambles, his cheeks getting very flushed in a short time. He wants to take the earplugs out of his ears, but Ben stops him.
"No. Please go on?" The blond mumbles. He yawns before closing his eyes again. "It's nice."
That causes Joe to blush even more. "I ehm... a-alright then." He stammers.
Ben smiles sleepily when Joe continues to sing softly. The boy sinks deeper and deeper, Joe's singing sounding more and more distant.

But just before Ben has fallen asleep completely, the sound of an incoming message fills the room. He can hear Joe picking up his phone while he keeps singing softly.
But then the singing suddenly stops.
And although it's possible that Joe just thinks Ben has fallen asleep, the blond boy still decides to open his eyes to check if Joe's okay. With a lot of effort, Ben cracks one eye open. He sees Joe staring at his phone with wide eyes, breathing faster and faster. "Joey?" He asks, still a bit sleepy.
When the ginger starts wheezing, Ben sits up in bed. Up until now he has never seen Joe have a panic attack. But he doesn't need more than a second to see that this is what that is. He jumps out of bed so he can walk over to Joe's. With all his heart he hopes that the wires of the monitor have miraculously grown a few inches longer so he can reach Joe's bed.
He needs to comfort the boy.
But unfortunately for him, the wires have stayed the same length. He curses under his breath, and walks back to his bed. He quickly pushes the red button next to his bed, hoping Lucy can comfort Joe. "Joe, it's gonna be okay." Ben says, feeling more helpless than ever before.
But Joe doesn't even seem to hear it.
The door of the room opens, and Lucy enters with a quite worried look on her face, since the red button was pushed.
Ben lets out a relieved breath, glad that she's here. "Lucy, y-you have to help Joe. He's panicking." He says in a trembling voice.
Lucy gives him a reassuring nod before she walks over to Joe's bed, sitting down on the edge of it. "Joe, look at me sweetie. Take a deep breath." She says caring as she takes Joe's hands in her own.
Joe shakes his head rapidly, wheezing even more. "T-they- they sting. Get them off!" Joe sobs. He yanks his hands out of Lucy's, and starts trying to get off the wires from the monitor that are attached to his chest.
Lucy looks confused at the wires, knowing they can't hurt him. "Joe. Joe, listen to me. They can't hurt you. They're just stickers on your chest." She says in a calm voice.
Biting his lip quite hard, Ben watches the two from the other side of the room. When he tastes blood, he briefly snaps out of his worry to wipe away the small drops of blood coming from his lip. He looks at Joe's heart monitor, seeing that the boy's panic attack is causing his heart rate to drop a little more.
Joe is still desperately trying to detach himself from the monitor, and eventually he manages to. As if he's holding on to something toxic, he tosses the wires away. But it doesn't stop his panic attack. "He- he will find me. I have to get home." Joe blurts out before continuing to sob loudly. "I don't want to die." He whimpers.
That really shatters Ben's heart into pieces.
After trying everything to calm down Joe, Lucy pulls the boy into a hug as a last resort. "You're safe Joe." She softly says during the hug.
For a moment, Ben feels a bit jealous. He wishes he'd be the one hugging Joe like that.

After about five minutes of total silence, Joe pulls away from the hug, finally calm again. "Sorry. I... I don't know what happened. It felt like someone stabbed me exactly where the wires were attached to my chest." The ginger whispers, wiping away his tears.
Lucy smiles at him. "Don't apologise Joe. Imagination is a bitch. It's okay, we just have to attach you to some new wires. I'll be right back." She gets up, and leaves the room after shooting the boys a smile.
"God Joey, you want me to have a heart attack?" Ben says, still a bit shocked. That manages to bring a small smile on Joe's face.
Joe looks down at his lap. "Sorry."
The door opens again. "Alright. Can you take your top off for me?" Lucy asks.
Joe sits up a bit more straight and nods. He slowly unbuttons the white hospital top, exposing his chest.
Ben's eyes immediately widen when he sees the boy's chest. It's covered in scars. Some of them are small, others are over five inches long.
Joe notices the look on Ben's face, and tries to cover up his chest with his arms. 'I'll explain later.' He mouths to Ben when he sees the questioning look the boy gives him.
Ben gives him a reassuring smile and nods.
Lucy places the last sticker onto Joe's chest. "Okay, all done. You can put your top back on." She says with a smile before she wants to leave the room. But before she can, Ben stops her.
"Wait, uhm Lucy? Can we maybe put my bed next to Joe's? Then I can help him if it happens again." The blond asks.
Joe immediately smiles at that.
Lucy nods. "Yes, of course." She says.

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Whoop whoop this chapter suuuuuuuucked I'm sorry✌🏻

Much love from me❤