SOUR CANDY | P. MAXIMOFF [ DISCONTINUED ]

11 | SPECIAL CHAPTER FOUR

11 | SPECIAL CHAPTER FOUR

Cassie tapped her foot against the concrete ground before glancing on her wristwatch.

8:40 AM

She let out a huff of annoyance as she placed her hands on top of her thighs. Cassie might have been sitting for a long time in this bus stop but her patience is not as long as the time she's wasting. She can't wait until those two idiots arrive so that she can berate them. But of course, despite how tempting it was, she mustn't fall for it. According to Charles, if she wants to teach at their mutant school, Cassie must be patient and level-headed. Because apparently, a teacher is not supposed to throw her student across the room when they do something dumb.

She turns her head at the basket of flowers resting in between her feet. A hollow corner of her heart started to beat and it felt like a thousand blades against the skin.

She thought that she was done mourning after her mother and brother's death. After all, she can't even remember what they looked like. But now, now that her memories are back, everything changed. It was different now. Especially that she now remembers she actually has a brother. And it hurts. It was as if someone was pouring salt in her open wound.

Sometimes, Cassie hoped she couldn't remember again. She wanted to feel the dread of uncertainty. She wanted to run away, she wanted to hide. To retreat back into her fragile mind where she can still wear the power of ignorance like an armor to protect herself from the truth. But she also knows that the avoidance of the truth makes her weak. But what can she do? Cassie would rather be ignorant of her pains than to live knowing that all she could do was shatter, shatter, and shatter. Until she tears into a million pieces. Until no one, not even herself, can put her together again. And it was terrifying, to be aware of the reality that your life is not getting better but you're simply stuck in a cycle of brief bliss and eternal misery.

Cassie thought that once she had confronted her father, the same person who tore into shreds, she would be fine. That miraculously, all her storms would go away. That her wounds would start healing. And she waited, waited, and waited. But it never came. Maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe what she needs to do is send him to the devil, a place where he belongs. But he has a family now. She does not hope to become the demon in an innocent child's life.

She scoffed. How come someone else gets the father I wanted? Meanwhile I am left here, feeling like no one loves me enough to make a room for me in their lives.

"Sorry, we're late. Got stuck in traffic."

Cassie looks up, gazing through her lashes, and she is greeted by the familiar faces of Hank and Charles. And judging on their posture, they're expecting her to berate them. She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh of irritation before standing up and crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Glad you two could make it." The edge on her voice didn't miss their ears. But before they could say something, she turns her head at Hank and proceeds to speak. "Frankly, I expected Charles wouldn't be here. You know, he is too busy with his job to even spare a valuable piece of his time commemorating his friend and her kid's death anniversary." She then looked at Charles and scoffed. "What kind of divine intervention brought you here, old man?"

The latter only sighed and shook his head. "Look, I'm sorry, Cassie, but I am trying. It's just that...I am a little busy at the moment," he explained. She looks away, afraid that if she sees his face, she would forgive him. "Once things are at their place, I promise, I will make it up to you."

She knows that things have been busy back at the mansion. With mutant kids flooding their doors, Charles couldn't get a rest. He needs to be always looking out for their students. And she understands that. She just couldn't help but to feel...neglected. Again.

Sighing, she looks back at him, at his patient face, but she merely dismisses it. "Whatever. Let's just keep moving before Mom and Caspian decide to rise from the dead." Cassie walks past them with her shoulder bumping Hank's. But she really couldn't care less. She just wanted this shit to be over.

Through her peripheral gaze, she sees Hank walking next to her and through hearing his heartbeat she knows that Charles isn't far behind them.

"I am sorry if we're late, it's just the traffic," he apologized. His voice was warm, like it always has been. "And just so you know, Charles really wanted to go." He paused, perhaps waiting for her response. But she kept quiet. "He really misses you, I also do. I mean, you were gone for years. The mansion doesn't feel quite the same without you."

Her heart melts.

She was glad that during their darkest times, she had Hank by her side. Because without him, Cassie would probably have gone insane long ago. Knowing that during her teenage years, Charles wasn't always around. He was physically present but mentally absent. He spent most of his time inside his room either drinking or staring at the nothingness, probably reminiscing his youth. And she couldn't blame him though, he was going through tough times and Cassie had to accept the fact that there is a slight chance that he might leave them anytime soon.

"Thanks, Hank, I also missed the two of you."

After a few moments of walking in silence, they finally arrived at their location. On a small hill with a tree on top, overlooking the cemetery. And in front of her, lies two marked graves with the names Maria Tatiana De Luna and Caspian Archangel Dayton carved on them. Solemnly, she placed the basket of flowers between the two tombstones before lighting up the candles. Cassie sat across them, her face calm as the morning breeze but deep inside her, she could feel her wild waves trying to break her.

She wanted to be with them. She wanted to feel how resting in peace feels like. But somehow, there is a part of her, like an ember in the ashes, that clings to the desperate thought that thinks things would get better. But what if it doesn't? What if it stays the same? What if the emptiness that lies inside her finally eats her up? Cassie knows that there is no pleasure in breathing alone, of being a hollow shell. That is not living. And she wanted to live, to die old, and to breathe her last air with the person she loves. She wanted to feel what it's like to be alive. To feel the world in all colors and to see the world in all its shades. She wanted to see the best version of herself, she wanted to get better.

She wanted to be brave enough to know what it's like to live.

ZEE SPEAKS

So yeah, it's been a while since i updated this crappy (sorta) fanfiction lol. But in all honesty, I've been having a hard time writing (prolly bcos of the school works i've been ignoring) and finding an inspiration to do so and when I did, it took me quite some time before finishing it off. So yeah, sorry to keep you waiting. You don't know how much it means for me to see you continue on reading this fanfic. A really big thank you to you.

And for the meantime,Belated Happy Ramadhan to all our Muslim brothers and sisters.

I can't say anything, my mind's empty asf once again. Again, thank you for reading this and this chapter is dedicated to you. Hope you like it.