Vengeful love (COMPLETE)

Chapter 52:Mirha

Mirha's pov:

I was feeling happy, kind of excited too since morning. Saad had been like before, he was caring for me. But all my happiness vanished as I sat back in the car, The thing which was saddening me wasn't their closeness, it was how lacking I was in front of her.

Even now, sitting beside him in white jacket and her long beautiful locks flowing down her back, she was a stunner. She had the perfect curves, along with confidence and boldness. Whereas me,.... I was just a burden on him. I was getting sadder with each passing moment, to the point it was getting difficult for me to control my tears.

Only a little time had passed, when Saad pulled the car on the side. There was a waterfall down the bridge. Saad had stopped to enjoy the surroundings. Everyone got out, Saad came towards me, but I moved faster, stepping beside Arsh.

I didn't want to talk to him right now, when I was so close to tears. Arsh looked at me and gave a small smile, but I turned my head forward. Saad also stopped following us Daneen asked him to take a few pictures of her. Arsh and I stopped on the side, from where the whole view was clear. The wind was harshly cold, I stuffed my hands in the pockets, looking around but not feeling any peace or happiness from the beautiful surrounding. All what I could feel was numbness.

My eyes were on Daneen and Saad, Saad had moved away to answer a call. "Is everything okay ? "Arsh asked from beside me.

I nodded stretching my lips into a smile. "It rubs me the wrong way, how prim and proper she behaves, that's why, I just love teasing her, I didn't mean to ruin the ride for you" Arsh said rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, its perfectly fine" my words weren't showcasing what I was feeling, but he seemed to believe me.

"I don't know, how I am so close to Saad yet so irritated by her. They are similar in soooooo many ways" Arsh chuckled shaking his head, but his words didn't amuse me.

"You know, I have never seen Saad care about someone, like he does for you. The only time he used to go crazy for was his work and experiments. I remember the last time, he went crazy like this was just a few months ago, when he was experimenting and seeing how people dealt with physical. He had developed a weird obsession with human nature and the possibilities of the things a human brain can do. Daneen had also developed an interest seeing him.As I told you, they both are crazy" Arsh kept talking, but I stuck on his word experiments.

What if.... what if I was also just a project for him? A broken girl, he wanted to study? The thought was clenching my heart, making it difficult for me to breath. But, then I started remembering the books he read, or how I could never understand the reason of his kindness towards me. I remembered the first time he had softened for me, it was seeing the scratches on my arms, when he locked me. A tear fell from my eye, I quickly wiped my cheeks, not wanting anyone to notice. I needed to control my emotions, I couldn't be a joke in front of everyone right now.

I could feel the coldness grip me as it used to right before the pain got too much and I scratched myself, the need to scratch to let this pain flow was overwhelming, but I couldn't do it here. I dug my nails in my palms, fisting my hands tightly, feeling the control come back to me again. The floating numbness was more grounded now. I headed towards the car, Arsh also followed me, signaling towards everyone else to join.

As I settled in the car, I could feel my palms getting wet with blood, but removing the nails, to unlock my fingers were difficult, I was scared,, I was scared of loosing myself with everyone around. As the blood leaked from my palm, I quickly took out a tissue from my pocket finally unlocking my fingers. Thankfully, Affan was sitting beside me, his whole focus was outside the window.

During lunch, Saad talked to me, asking if I was well, trying to be affectionate, but I moved back subtly. I didn't think, I could handle it. After lunch, Saad took Affan's seat beside me, and Affan went to Arsh's seat on the back as Arsh wanted to drive, definitely to irritate Daneen some more.

The whole day, we stopped at different places to enjoy the sights, to eat and enjoy. But it was nothing but a torture for me. I hated myself for being so naive , to actually believe that someone could care for me, when my own parents, my own grandfather left me to tend to myself. How did I expect for him to be really there for me?

Saad tried to pull the warm cap on my head in the evening, but I took it from his hands, not wanting his touch. I pulled the gloves on even it stung with the fresh wounds I had given myself. I was thankful for this escape I could get when the pain got too much. It let me have the little self esteem I have, remain intact.

We went to our hotel rooms in Swat at 8 pm, as everyone was tired. Saad was still in the reception area filling some information, I took out my night clothes and headed towards the bathroom. My hands were bright red and numb from cold as I pulled the gloves off. The weather here was freezing, I didn't know how people even survived in this harsh weather.

I avoided thinking about anything, keeping my mind blank, knowing very well that tears were just a thought away. A part of me was also afraid, we were finally going to be alone. Through the whole day, it was easier to avoid him with everyone around. I planned to sleep before he came to the room.

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Mene khud ko hr ehsaas se aari kr k pathar kr lia
Mene apni ruh ko qaid kr k apny jazbaat ko bhi dafan kr lia
Mujhse hasny ki umeed rkhty ho? Mene apny honton ko ansuon se see kr munjamid kr lia..

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Salaam readers! Heres the update❤️