Figuring Myself Out

Chapter 8

February 3rd 1:13 pm Wednesday
Kades POV.

Aspen and I have been in English class since the beginning of lunch. He didn't want to eat lunch again.

This is the fifth time we didn't go to the lunch room and the fifth time he didn't want to eat lunch. At this point I am starting to get worried.

Aspen is zoning out while I am eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He has missed three days of school and he shows up late today.

When I am done eating my sandwich I throw my trash away Mr. Branden tells me that he will be back because class starts.

First I tapped him on his hand which I didn't get a response. Then his shoulder same thing happened. I grabbed his chin and turned it in my direction.

I was looking in his eyes and vise versa. He was physically there but mentally he was somewhere else.

This made me feel sad what was wrong. I lightly tapped his face and he flinched away.

"I-I'm sorry." he said.

"Boo you have nothing to be sorry for I just want to know what is going on." I told him.

As he was about to open his mouth the bell rung and a couple of students were starting to come into class then Mr. Branden came back in.

I gave Aspen a look that said 'we'll talk about this later' and he started to do the Do Now that Mr. Branden wrote on the board.

I couldn't help but look over at Aspen while he was writing. He looked tired and unhappy. I looked at his arms as he was writing and I saw redness and coming else.

"Oh my." I whispered.

There is was a few cuts in his forearm. He must have noticed that I was looking because he pulled his sleeves down and moved away from me.

About 10 minutes I was looked at him and think before starting to do the Do Now as well. Good thing Mr.Branden isn't grading this. I was too busy being in my own head.

As we started to hand them in I couldn't help but look at Aspen and he started to get scared. He noticed again and raised his hand.

"Yes Aspen would you like to say something?" Mr. Branden asked.

"Ummm ... m-May I go t-to the bath-th-throom please?" Aspen replied.

At first he looked unsure but he nodded anyway. Aspen got up so fast grabbing his bag and phone quickly. Mr. Branden looked at me and we both knew he wasn't coming back.

"Kades I would like to speak with you outside for a minute." Mr. Branden said.

I sighed but got up away. I heard a few people whispering but I didn't care. When I got out of the classroom Mr. Branden looked at me.

"Do you know what is going on with Aspen? I am starting to get worried about her she left like something was wrong." he asked.

"I honestly have no idea but I am going to figure it out." I said.

He shook his head and sighed because he looked just as worried as I was. He rubbed his face with his hands before speaking again.

"Just make sure that when you find out tell me so that I can try to make her feel comfortable in my classroom." he told me.

It was my turn to sigh.

"I will do that." I said determinedly.

~ 3:07 pm end of the school day

As soon as the bell rung I was out my class faster than a cheetah. I didn't even stop at my locker before leaving school making my way to Aspen house.

When I got to his house I looked at my phone seeing that it was 3:30 pm. I thought about calling or texting him but I didn't.

I rang his bell and was immediately let in. Then I walked to the third floor and knocked. The door swung open and there stood a man.

"Who are you?" I said.

"You're not the pizza man." he said.

The both of us looked at each other. I had confusion on my face while his showed upset. I walked around him and I heard him say 'come back'.

Did I listen though not really. I made my way to Aspen's bedroom where I saw him bandaging his bicep up. I gasped as I stopped in my tracks.

Aspen turned around and looked scared like he was going to get in trouble. When my feet started working again I hugged him. He started to cry then I did.

He was mumbling about sorry over and over again. But I kept shaking my head trying to get the words out.

"I'm sorry it-it hurts too much I can't take it I don't have any control in my life. Why can't my family see how miserable I am. Don't they care. I don't sleep. I barely eat anymore. And when I do I feel nauseous. My dad came back causing more problems. More arguments. He's going to leave again and Chandler knows it too. When he does I'm not going to be surprised. I'm just tired. I just want the pain to go away." he cried.

I just held him as he cried. He looked so depressed it hurt my heart to know that he was hurting. When I knew that he had stopped crying I looked at him.

"Boo I know that you might not want to hear this right now but I know a great therapist to talk too. I can't lose you." I said.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth he looked at me like he was offended. I hope he didn't think I thought anything bad about him.

"My mom says that her kids don't need therapy." he said.

Honestly I couldn't help but chuckle. It was obvious that the whole family would benefit from therapy. I looked up and he wasn't in the room anymore.

I walk out his room and go to the kitchen because I hear people talking. When I arrive to the kitchen I see the whole family.

"Oh hello Kades how are you? Would you like to stay for some pizza, their dad ordered it?" Aspen's mom said.

Before I answer I look over to the man sitting next to Aspen and then to his mother. They look so much alike now that I think about it.

"I'm good and thanks for the offer but I think I'm going to head home I have a lot of homework to do." I said.

Aspen's mom nodded and told me to tell my mom she said hi. I looked at Aspen one more time before leaving texting him as soon as I left his house.