Figuring Myself Out

Chapter 7

January 27 5:48 pm Monday
Chandler POV. (Continued)

After the argument I had with my ungrateful father I go up to my room to call my mother. I call her three times and get her voicemail.

"This is fucking bullshit." I mumbled.

I lay down on my bed listening to music to get my nerves calmed down before I break something. I hear a knock on my door that I ignore.

There were about three more knocks when I swung the door open screaming 'what' angrily. I see who it is and it's my sister.

I roll my eyes but I allow her into my room. She sits on my carpet and I sit in my bed.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked.

"Why do you hate our dad?" she said.

I sighed.

"He was never really in my life he wasn't in yours either okay. We barely saw him and if we did he would just give us and mom money. He would have a conversation with us here and there but he didn't really care. I remember one time I was 8 and you were 4. I had a performance mom told him about it and he said he would come. The day arrives I see you and mom sitting front row next to an empty chair. He never came. He lies. He doesn't care about us. That is why I don't like him. Now leave." I told her.

She nodded and left without another word. I felt tears coming down my face I didn't mean to cry. I put my headphones on.

I laid back down on my bed for about 20 minutes when I heard keys and the door being open.

I opened my bedroom door and went towards the living room where I saw my mom and dad talking. The crazy part was that they were laughing.

"Mom tell him to leave he shouldn't be here." I said angrily.

My mom looked at me like something was missing with me. She looked at me and then my dad.

"Chandler why can't you be nice to your father?" she said.

"Please he lost the title when he STOPPED CARING ABOUT ME ... AND ASPEN." I scoffed.

"I ALWAYS CARED ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SISTER." He yelled back.

"NO YOU DON'T STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH AND LEAVE US ALONE." I yelled.

We went back and forth for about half an hour until my mom screamed at us to knock it off. I also didn't realize this but we were so close we could throw hands.

From the corner of my eyes I could see Aspen with tears in her eyes. She was probably scared and I didn't blame her.

Dad saw too and was going over to her to probably comfort her but she backed away from him. She ran back to her room most likely.

I glared at both mom and dad before going back to my room taking a nap.

Aspen POV.

I run back to my room as fast as I can and locking the door. I jump on my bed crying my eyes out. Why can't my family just get along.

*TW: briefly talking about self harm*

When I stopped crying I had a bad headache and went to the bathroom to get an advil from the medicine cabinet. I see a razor sitting in it and I take it back to my room.

I'm sitting on the floor looking at the razor at first and then I put it on my skin. I slice my left forearm three times and it felt good.

I did it two more times before slowly getting up and walking to the bathroom. I clean the razor and put it in my pocket.

Before I clean my wounds I look at them blotting the little blood and putting gauze on it. I look at it and then look at myself.

I quickly look away and walk out the bathroom. I walk towards the living room and didn't see anyone.

*Ends here*

"I didn't hear the door so are still here." I said to myself.

The silence made me feel uneasy and I went to the kitchen were I saw my mom and dad talking quietly. I decided to ease drop on there conversation.

"Why does Chandler get so mad at me and Aspen she looked so scared and nervous around me today. I just wanted to show them a good time." dad asked.

"Well with Chandler you can't just pop up and pretend to be her father when you want to and with Aspen she is not used to you being here. You just have to give both of them some time. Aspen will come around more so than Chandler." mom replied.

Dad had sighed and looked down.

"I know and I promise that I am going to be there for both of my girls. I am going to be there when they need me. I am going to show them that I can be the best father that they have ever known." he told my mom.

My mom gave him a look that said 'you say that now' and then sighed before saying something.

"You better be sure if not they are going to feed you to the wolves and make sure that you don't come back alive especially Chandler so get ready." she had said.

I thought about it what he said and I hoped that he kept his promise because I'm already on the fence and we already know where Chandler stands in all of this.

Before I got caught my mom or dad I left to see where Chandler had went. I looked in her room and saw her on her bed listening to music.

I sighed in relieve knowing that they didn't leave me and went back to my room. I sat on my bed and text Kades about why I had left school.

After I did that I had decided that I was going to start doing my homework that was due a few days ago.