Figuring Myself Out

Chapter 17

Kades POV.
May 28th Saturday 7:17 a.m.

I woke up due to someone shuffling out my bedroom door about 15 minutes ago and I haven't felt like getting up. I just been looking at TikTok's on my phone.

When I did get up I went to the bathroom and then downstairs to get a bottle of water. As I was about to go upstairs I heard someone talking.

I followed the voice to see Aspen talking to someone on his laptop. I go to sit next to him and he puts his head on my shoulder still talking.

"Yeah I had stayed up till one talking to Kades about things, she is the one I was telling you about. My friends, Paul and I are spending the night at her house. And so far Paul has not been the friend I thought he was but as long as I am not near him than I am good. It's weird though because in school he is not like that." he said.

"Hi Kades I heard so much about you, you seem to be a good support system for Aspen. Now Aspen have you talked to Paul about being rude to you outside of school?" Dr. Marshal said.

From the corner of my eye I saw Aspen start to respond to Dr. Marshal but I was busy smiling. I loved that I am here for Aspen and vise versa.

When the session was over I heard Dr. Marshal say when their next session was going to be before signing off.

I looked over at Aspen and he was already staring at me. Neither one of us said anything but the silence between us wasn't uncomfortable.

"Since it is a little after 8 do you think we should make breakfast or wait for them to get up?" I said.

He was looking like he was thinking but I already knew what he was going to say since he hated waiting on people.

"Making breakfast." he said happily.

I laughed before grabbing his hand and we went to the kitchen. We got out bacon, eggs, bread, apple and orange juice.

Aspen started cracking the eggs for scrambled eggs and I had taken the bacon out to put it in the pan. After we did that Markayla came down slowly.

"Morning guys." she said.

She went to the juice and poured her some apple juice. We said good morning and continued to cook the breakfast.

"I'm going to the bathroom be back." Aspen said.

When Aspen was out of ear shot Markayla stopped drinking her juice and turned towards me. I looked at her like she had something on her face.

"Dude it's obvious that you both like each other why not make a move?" she asked.

"I can't he is already struggling mentally why would I mess up the happiness he is trying to gain back" I replied back.

"You're not if anything you're one of the main people who is there for him AND you know he likes you back." she said.

"Ugh this conversation is over and never going to be brought up again." I told her.

Before she could respond Victory, Darla and Paul came back. Because our conversation most of that got events and bacon got ruined. I had to get bagels and cream cheese out of the fridge.

As we were about to sit at the table Aspen came back. No one noticed except me and Markayla. He looked sad but tried to hide it.

The 6 of us sat down. We were mainly just talking about random things. Then something happened that caused Paul to get literally thrown out of my house.

* Mention about self harm scars*

Since Aspen has been out of the hospital we noticed that he has been self conscious of his scars. He always wears long sleeves to hide them when we are around.

I always hear him tell Dr. Marshall that he has been feeling sad whenever people see them. And she try to help him with that by telling him he is still handsome no matter what.

We know that they're there but we don't say anything because we know how he feels about them.

But today Aspen decided after his talk with Dr. Marshall that maybe he should embrace them. So he had on a wearing a short sleeve rainbow shirt that obviously showed his scars.

Paul made a comment that was out of pocket. He said that his scars made him look weak and ugly. But that's not what got him thrown out the house.

*Mention stops here*

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Markayla said.

"YOU NEED TO FUCKING LEAVE RIGHT NOW." I said after.

Aspen ran upstairs with tears in his eyes and then we heard a door close. Not going to lie that made all of us kind of nervous.

Victory got up from her chair and dragged his sorry ass to the door. I looked at him and punched him in the face. Markayla kicked him in the balls. Darla throw his stuff at him.

Victory texted her brother to get his ass on Monday. Once he was taken care of we ran up the stairs looking for Aspen.

"He's not in my room" I said.

"Or the bathroom" Darla said.

Once we were all together again we stopped to think. I heard some shuffling and a sniffles. I started walking towards a closet and they followed me.

I opened the door and I didn't see Aspen but I heard him. When I turned around it was only Markayla standing there.

"We'll give y'all some privacy we'll be in your room if you need us." she said.

I nodded and turned back around to the closet. When I looked further I was able to see him wedged into the corner. You could tell he tried to make himself look smaller.

If he wasn't sad I would say that he looked adorable. He looked like he wanted to say something. I said something before he could.

"Don't listen to the son of a bitch Paul you're not worthless you're so much more than that. If anything you are one of the most amazing person I ever met and I'm so glad to have met you in middle school. You're the reason I wake up in the morning and want to go to school. Your laugh brings light into my life. The way you make people happy and when you laugh makes my soul happy. You are something beautiful and you are worth more than anything in the world. I love you more than I love myself." I told him.

When I was done talking he was obviously taking everything I said in. About 5 minutes later he came out the closet and hugged me so tight.

"I love you too." he mumbled in my neck.

Once we pulled apart he had the biggest smile on his face. It warmed my heart knowing that I'm the reason for that smile. We went back to my room hand in hand.

When Aspen walked in they approached him slowly. As they discussed what happened I bought breakfast upstairs. I cream cheesed or buttered the bagels.

After they were done talking we ate and watched tv. I saw that Aspen was journaling as well as eating. I felt happy that he didn't let that altercation stop him from eating.

We decided that we would have a lazy day. Watching movies, manicures, video games and more.