Figuring Myself Out

Chapter 13

Kades Pov.
April 21st Saturday 11:47 am

I had woken up by someone moving which made me realize that I wasn't in my bed or my room. It was Aspen who was quietly whimpering.

Aspen and I were on the bed while Darla and Victory was on the floor over a couple of blankets and Markayla was laying across the bean bag.

"Aspen wake up it's a dream." I said.

Aspen was shaking lightly and he was whimpering with tears running down his face. He finally woke up with a gasp and out of breath.

When I came towards him he flinched and seemed scared like he just came home from war and had to readjust to life at home again.

"Aspen you're at your house in your room your friends are here." I said.

He was looking around the room and put his knees to his chest and I got close to him and hugged him, he didn't pull away or flinch.

He said something but it was muffled by his face between his knees. Aspen got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom.

I wanted to follow him but I decided against it and woke up the rest of them so we could make breakfast.

"Guys wake up and come downstairs we are going to be making breakfast." I said.

Darla and Markayla woke up instantly while Victory had groaned about being woken up so early in the morning.

We got downstairs and started taking out things to make a breakfast taco with bacon, sausage, peppers, eggs, potatoes, and cheese.

The four of us were cooking for almost an hour now and when the food was done we expected Aspen to have came down by now.

"Would Aspen hurry up I'm fucking starving, he is taking way too long." Victory said.

Markayla and Darla gave a glare in her direction and I told them I'll see what is going on.

I go upstairs to his room to see it empty then I go to the bathroom and knock, since I heard nothing I quietly opened the door.

Aspen was sitting crisscross on the floor with something in his hand holding it close to his arms that's when I went in very slowly.

"Aspen please look at me give me the blade let's talk about it." I said.

"I don't wanna think." He whispered.

I had sat in front of him and it was like he didn't know that I was there and continued whispering 'I don't wanna think' looking at the blade.

I took it from his hands and grabbed his chin so he was looking me in the eyes, he wasn't looking at me almost like he was ashamed of himself.

"Aspen I want you to listen to me, I love you and I know you might not think that but I truly do you are the best person to come into my life okay?" I said.

"Okay." He whispered.

We got off from the floor and walked to the kitchen where Markayla, Victory and Darla was already eating.

"Sorry we couldn't wait any longer." Victory said.

Aspen and I sat next to each other and I started eating my breakfast but when I looked over at him he wasn't eating.

I tapped his thigh, he sighed and started eating as well. While eating we were just talking about what we wanted to do today.

"Hey Aspen where's your mom and sister?" Markayla asked.

"My mom's working and I don't know nor do I care where my sister is." he said.

Markayla nodded and went back to eating since she was the last one to finish. When she was done we all washed and dried the plates and utensils.

We went into the living room and watched a few shows for some time until I had gotten bored.

"How about we do a spa day." Victory said.

Aspen Pov.

"- spa day." one of my friends said.

I just couldn't concentrate on anything and I can tell that my friends are worried about me and I don't want them too.

Victory went to call one of those spa places for reservations, Markayla Darla and Kades went somewhere and I was going to call Dr. Marshal for therapy.

I go to my room and I close the door and dial the number that was on the card she gave me.

*start of call*

Dr. Marshal: Hello this is Dr. Marshal from the Greenview Hospital how may I help you today

Aspen: *silence*

Dr. Marshal: Hello, hello if this is a prank call this is not funny I will report you whoever you are!

Aspen: I ... I want help I don't want my friends to be worried about me I want to be myself again I ... I want to happy I just need to get independent I ... I want to live my life again

Dr. Marshal: Aspen I appreciate you for reaching out come back to the hospital right now and I will transfer you to one of my offices in the area and we can get it started.

Aspen: okay I'll be there

*end of call*

When the call had ended by heart was in my mouth and I was shaking feeling terrible about having to bail on my friends right now.

I found my friends on the couch taking about how excited they were and I felt like was going to vomit.

"I have to ... um ... go right now so I ... I can't go." I said shakily.

They nodded before hugging me and saying that they would see me next week when I come back to school before leaving except Kades.

I looked at Kades and vise versa before she put her shoes, grabbed my hands and we took the bus to the hospital.

"Why are you coming with me?" I asked when we sat down.

"Because I want to be here with you." she said.

For the first time in a while I had smiled and it wasn't fake it was truly genuine. I felt like I finally had someone on my side.

~ 5 stops later

The two of us get off and we had to walk about a block because of where the bus stop was.

When we get in the hospital I saw some of the nurses and they looked at me with an unreadable expression on their face.

Two of them came up to us.

"Hello Aspen what are you doing here?" on of them asked.

"I came to talk to Dr. Marshal's about therapy I told you guys I wouldn't be back for hurting myself again." I said.

They smiled and hugged me before saying "hope you get better and come see us again".

I smiled and walked off with Kades to where I remembered Dr. Marshals office was. When I got there Kades sat down on one of the chairs.

"Hello Aspen I am glad that you are trying to seek help I will make this quick so you can get back home. You live in the central area and I have a private practice area would you mind doing twice a week?" She said.

I nodded and she gave me a couple forms to fill out before I was able to go back home when I was done I game them to her.

"I filled out everything." I said.

"Thank you I will have the receptionist to give you a call about your first session." she said.

I nodded and left the office grabbing Kades hand before leaving the hospital and going to get ice cream finally starting to feel better.