ɴɪɴᴇ | ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ ɪssᴜᴇs

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~I don't even know anymore~


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⊱𝙸𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙾𝙻𝚄𝚆𝙰 𝙽𝙾𝙴 𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙺𝙴⊰

~~•~~


"Your principal said what?"

"He said he wants to see you in school tomorrow."

I repeated those words for the second time after a minute of long uncomfortable silence. 

This reaction wasn't what I expected. I mentally prepared myself for the slaps and beatings and loud complaints of how I kept on stressing him and making things difficult for him.

I was expecting the harsh words, the anger burning in his eyes. Disappointment. That is what I prepared to see.

I wasn't expecting this...calm. 

Maybe my brothers talked to him. 

Did they?

The distant hums of the generator set from the neighboring houses in the estate couldn't be heard anymore, because NEPA had given us power supply an hour ago. And so the entire neighborhood was quiet, and maybe that was why he hadn't given me a belt mark or two.

He placed his phone on the dining table and let out a tired sigh. 

Then he looked at me, and I saw the little sagging flesh underneath his eyes, and the weariness in them.

He was tired of me. Tired of my trouble.

"What did you do Idera?"

Irritation surged up inside of me at those words. Why did he always do that? Why did he always break my heart this way? For once in my life, I wanted him to look me in the eyes and tell me he believes me. To tell me he believes that I didn't do anything. To hear my side of the story without thinking I'm the one who caused the trouble.

It was always what I did and not what the other person did.

Idera always had to do something.

Always.

My eyes darted down to my almost empty plate, and I counted to ten in my head, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.

Slowly, my anger dissipated and I felt a bit calm.

I took my eyes off my plate and locked them with his, and replied calmly.

"I only got into an argument with a classmate. I didn't do anything wrong."

He said nothing, but picked the jug full of water beside him, poured himself a glass of water, and downed the whole glass.

"We'll see if you did anything wrong or not." He went back to his food, but I didn't take my eyes off him. I glared hard, and I'm sure he felt my gaze which would have bored holes into his head if possible, but he wasn't bothered.

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