How many times can you save me?

Let's hear it for Captain America

A/N  Hey!! Hope you're enjoying this story so far. I think it's getting pretty clear that I'm running out of ideas but I'm gonna pay more attention to the story once I'm back to civilisation (I'm on vacay at the moment in the middle of nowhere)! As always enjoy :)

Bucky woke up with one hell of a headache. He didn't remeber much. Again. This was getting kind of exhausting, every time he passed out, forgeting the previous events. He was tired of his brain betraing him like that. As soon as he got controll over his sences, he realized he was moving. How was he moving? He oppened his eyes, expecting to be blinded by the morning light. Instead what he saw, was the roofv on something.

"Where?" he managed to say

"Ah look who finally decided to grace us wiht his voice" he heard Dugan say

Bucky got up with a groan, as the tank hit a bump "I'll get the captain" he heard someone else say. Great, now I have to face Steve's questioning once again. "Where am I?" he asked again.

"Welcome abord The Tank" Dugan emphasised the title with his hands

Bucky lifted his eyeborws "The tank?" he mocked "how original"

"Shut up" Dugan laughed "how are you feeling sarge?"

How am I feeling? Like I was hit by a train, Bucky thought "Fine" he replied not wanting any more attention.

"Incoming" Jones warned as he saw the captain approach.

Steve rushed inside the vehicle and kneeled beside Bucky, concearn written all over his face. He subtly put a hand on his cheek and moved his head around, making checking him out "how are you doing? You scared the life out of me"

"I'm fine Steve. Really I'm okay" Bucky reasurred him "Frakly I'd be a lot better if people stopped asking how I'm doing" Bucky pushed Steve's hand off him.

No soldier replied to Bucky's comment. They just looked at each other and turned their attention to the tank. Steve was the only one taken aback from the answer. In all their lives Bucky had never been so cold, so distant. Even when his father beat the life out of him, he never reacted like that. Something was wrong with him.

Steve stood up and Bucky did the same, not wanting to spent any more time in that tank "where do you think you are going?" Steve stopped him.

"Outside?" Bucky narrowed his eyes "why where should I be going?"

"Nowhere. Sarge you need rest" Jones replied for Steve.

Even thought he knew they were right, Bucky couldn't just sit inside and do nothing. He wanted to walk, march outside, but he also understood his organisms desperate need for rest. Either way Bucky wanted it to be his choice what he did. He was tired of people telling him what to do, ordering him to do things he didn't want to. "Tell you what. You let me outside. With a gun" he hushed Steve as soon as he saw him open his mouth "and the moment I feel bad again I'll get my ass back in here"

Steve considered the offer and looked at Bucky. At the other end of the tank Dugan entered the conversation "if you are going out I'm coming with ya. Captain is busy with the rest of the soldiers and you need someone to make sure you don't hit your head when you pass out again. You need what little brain you have left. Can't have ya loosing that too, you'll get even more crazy."

Both Steve and Bucky agreed to the offer and soon Bucky was in the front row, holding a gun and marching with a smile that reached from ear to ear. Of course that's how he appeared on the outside, because on the inside he wanted to scream, to cry. But he couldn't show that to the soldiers, to Steve . He had to hide it. So he did what he spent most of his childhood doing. He smiled to hide the pain.

"How much more?" He asked Steve, who was leading the way in front of him

"What you're getting tired?" The Captain mocked "you spent quite some time sleeping in there" he pointed at the tank "so if I'm correct we should have about a day of waking if we don't stop at all till nightfall"

Bucky graced him with a smile but didn't reply. When he passed out he was certain they had at least another three days. How long was he out? How much didn't he remember? Too many questions were piling up on his brain.

Around noon, even thought Bucky had been trying his hardest not to pass out, not to cause a scene once again, not to be a burden, things took a turn for the worst. As the sun set, the soldiers light up the very few torches they had managed to find. At the beginning everything was okay, but then out of nowhere one of the soldiers accidentally pointed the light directly into Bucky's eyes.

"How are you feeling today?" The doctor approached him and blinded him with a bright light

"Sergeant, James Buchanan, 32557038" Bucky kept looking to one direction only. He wasn't going to give the doctor the satisfaction of cooperation.

Dr Zola smiled and placed a needle into Bucky's right arm. Bucky subtly moved his eyes to see if it was one of the other things he had been tortured with, but this liquid was different.

"Now this may be a little unpleasant" he removed the needle and turned on a machine than was placed on each side of Bucky's head. Everything after that was pain. No relief, no death, just plain torturous pain.

Bucky shut his eyes as hard as possible and reopened them, trying to push the memories away. As the sun began to set they could see a small bluish shadow in the horizon, confirming Steve's words about the SSR base. Not that Bucky needed confirmation about anything regarding Steve but most men there were just meeting the man for the first time and after what they had just gone through trust, amongst other things, did not come easy.

"Cigarette?" Dugan offered as he lit his own

"Yes please" Bucky answered too quickly with a sigh emphasising the need for one. He leaned towards Dugan's light and pulled on the cigarette. It was going to be along night and he needed a boost, even a small one.

Throughout the night Bucky could feel Dugan's and Steve's eyes in him every now and then, making sure he was okay and simultaneously making his efforts to keep himself together even harder. Even thought it was one of the longest nights of his life, Bucky felt a wave of relieve rush over him as with the first light of dawn they could see the base.

"Another hour or so" he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. Turning around he saw Steve smiling at him.

"I still can't get used to the fact that you're taller than me" Bucky whined, trying to cover the fact that he almost flinched at the contact. Steve chuckled and moved forward, guiding the way.

Another hour, another hour, Bucky whispered to himself like a prayer, starting to feel the energy leaving his body.

Chaos erupted in the base when the rescued soldiers crossed the entrance. Cheers and laughters of joy and surprise created the perfect atmosphere. All noises quieted down though as the colonel approached Steve, who was standing in the front of the line.

"Some of these men need medical attention" Steve pointed at the more injured soldiers and gave Bucky a look, hoping he would categorised himself as one of those men "I'd like to surrender myself for disciplinary action"

Phillips looked at Steve expressionlessly "that won't be necessary" he turned to agent Carter who was standing behind him smiling at the captain "faith huh?" He nodded at the rest of the soldiers and turned around, leaving the celebrations to them.

"You're late" the woman stated when the colonel was far away enough.

"I couldn't call my ride" Steve showed her the busted and fried transponder.

"Hey" Bucky's oddly strong voice caught their attention, along with the rest of the soldiers "let's hear it for captain America" he shouted and once again the crowd started cheering. In the newly formed chaos that had once again arisen, Steve caught Bucky's grey-blue eyes and somehow the other man knew, he was gonna be okay.