Heartbroken (kirideku)

Im surviving?

Hey everyone geez it's been a long time since I opened this app I know it's been a long time and I disappeared pretty suddenly so after a lot of thinking I've decided to come forward with an explanation.
I am sick.
I'm not dying,
But I'm not exactly living comfortably either.
Now I really didn't want to come In here and dump all my issues out but I really didn't want to leave you all with no answer either.
So if you want the basics of it
I'm sick and have been through a lot of toxic relationships and just really icky things which effected my work and is why I stopped posting.
You may stop reading here or continue to know all the details.
Just know I will try to update the book but no promises.
Thank you for all your support truly

Now for the continuation

I have always been a little on the ill side, I have a lot of medical issues a lot of pain a lot of discomfort but it wasn't until recently things really started getting bad.
For those of you who don't know I have a severe case of POTS which is a heart condition that effects your blood volume (the amount of blood your heart pumps) upon standing up and sitting down or even laying down
This causes irregular heart beats, dizziness, fanting, chest pain, etc
There has been further research that pots actually effects allot more then the heart which in my case it did.
My digestive system stoped I couldn't eat, I couldn't really drink anything, and I was in a lot of pain constantly nauseas and fatigued. It was really hard to have these symptoms on top of school and my family's expectations.
My joints practically stopped working properly my knees and ankles would constantly give out and I would fall in covered in bruises and in a lot of pain due to the joint swelling and probably spraining and twisting them constantly.
My dizziness got worst and I had my first case where I actually passed out in class it wasn't a fun experience tbh 2/10 wouldn't recommend.
I am doing a little better now after being put on a shit load of medication and I am being sent to a specialized research center that is doing all the research for my disorder.

Ontop of all of this I've had a lot of shitty stuff happen with my relationships both romantic and friendships
My romantic partner someone I was very close to and highly depended on turns out was not being so great to my friends. Going as far as to send death treats to my ex girlfriend.
My friends and ex girlfriend  talked shit behind my back
This was my ex girlfriends second time doing so.

While this is just the basics I feel like this pretty much can cover why I was gone for so long I just couldn't do it.
This book was suppose to be a hobby a little escape for my creativity and I enjoyed every second of writing this book but now I can't even remember where the plot was going and reading the old cringe work having progressed so much as a writer it started to become a chore. I truly appreciate every single one of you and this experience has been amazing but unfortunately I may have to quit this book or at least rewrite it.
I still haven't made up my mind.
Thank you again!
With much love
-your author

P.S being main character is a trap don't do it <3 /joking