Harry Styles Do Be A Potter

Chapter 15: Little White Lies

The gang snuck back into Hogwarts grounds: past James Hagrid Cordon's hut, past the front doors, past Simon Dumbledore's office, and started to head up the stairs towards the Gryffindor common room.

Unfortunately for them, the poltergeist Peeves was lurking around the castle grounds late at night, searching for unexpecting victims like themselves. He took out his ghostly clown knife and slashed through the fabric of the bag that magically held their instruments.

In an extremely brave and quick-witted (albeit, uncharacteristic) move, Harry whipped out his wand and shouted at the top of his lungs "QUIETUS!"

The musical instruments tumbled out of the bag halfway down the staircase without making a noise.

Louis looked over the railing at the instruments (still intact--thank Merlin) lying on the platform between the flights of stairs. He grimaced and slicked his hands through his One Direction hair.

The squad filed down the stairs.

Liam lisped, "I guess we'll just be forced to transfer these bags upstairs ourselves" flexing his nonexistent muscles.

Zayn rolled his eyes at the weak boys amongst him, and picked up his bass with only two fingers (because he was so strong).

Niall-Hermione shouted quietly, "my fellow boys! I cannot find my kazoo and triangle!"

"Don't stress, Niall-Hermione, we'll search for your stuff." Liam lisped comfortingly.

The group scrounged the stairs for the small instruments, unable to find a trace of them.

Zayn, half heartedly looking around, noticed something small that had fallen out of Niall-Hermione's bag at his feet. It was about the size of a kazoo, so he picked it up.

Thinking maybe it could be a kazoo wrapped in plastic, he called Taylor over, "hey Taylor," he made heart eyes at her, "could this be a kazoo container?"

Taylor rolled her eyes at the oblivious boy, "No." She turned on her heel and started walking away, looking for the actual instruments.

Zayn raised his eyebrows in confusion, but then Taylor looked over her shoulder, still walking away and said, "it's a tampon."

Zayn tossed the thing away as quickly as one would pass a hot potato.

"Ahh! Gross!!" He quickly whipped out some hand sanitizer from his robe pocket and drenched his hands in the cleaning alcohol.

Zayn, having had enough, grabbed his bass and started heading down towards the Slytherin common room, which he had forgotten was in the dungeon because he was just following the beautiful Taylor NaGinny Swift Weasley.

Suddenly, Taylor whisper-shouted, "I found them, girlie!"

Distracted by her again, Zayn spun on his heel and followed the Gryffiondors once more.

As the possé made their way up the stairs, Louis began to collapse under the weight of his grand piano. "Harry--" he whined ungratefully, "some help please?"

Harry, burdened by the weight of his awesomeness and beauty, turned a blind ear to Louis' plea and continued to lead his minions.

"We need to find a place to put these down?" Louis bit back a scream of pain, taking another step forward.

"Man up" said one of the paintings in the hallway.

"Hmmmmm," Harry mused, finally acknowledging the less macho boy's complaints, "there's got to be a place somewhere."

And as if Harry's voice had been a command from heaven, an open door appeared in the middle of the hall, labeled The Room of Requirement.

"Tut tut, what a quaint little room I see." Harry said, feeling very proud of his observational skills.

The six set down their instruments in the room, which was dark and dusty, but after running his hands along the walls, Harry located the lighting, which shone a bright spotlight on him. He turned to his friends, "sounds like time for rehearsal" he winked with both blue eyes.

...

After their productive middle-of-the-night rehearsal, it was almost time for breakfast, most of the bandmates were packing up, as well as Taylor.

"Taylor I really love your Goochie belt, it looks so elegant." Niall-Hermione complimented her Goochie.

"Thanks so much girlie, I stole it." Taylor said as she walked out the doors, leaving Harry to frown as he followed in her trail.

Louis and Liam left soon after, talking about "steamed salamanders and saucy sorbet shish kabobs" as they went to eat breakfast.

Only Niall-Hermione and Zayn Malfoylick were left in the room. Zayn turned to Niall-Hermione all of the sudden. "I know you're not a boy." He muttered under his breath.

Niall-Hermione glanced up, bearing her yellowed buck teeth, "what'd you just say to me?"

"I see what you're doing--cheating your way into the Battle of The Boybands with your tricky little white lies--no, they're not even white lies, they're blatant lies!  I'm not stupid, ya know?" He clenched his fists. Being a Slytherin, Zayn didn't care much about integrity, but something about Niall-Hermione made him boil inside.

Niall-Hermione's eyes glistened with fear. "I-I don't know what you're...what you're talking about." She stammered.

"I have proof," he pointed an accusing finger at her, "you know fashion brands." He thought to himself about the tampon. "Only girls know fashion brands."

Niall-Hermione chuckled, "what kind of logic is that? If only girls knew fashion brands, then how'd you know I was talking about a fashion brand?"

Zayn rolled his eyes, "you were talking about clothes, plus Taylor called your girlie!!"

"Taylor calls everyone 'girlie'!" Niall-Hermione threw her arms up into the air, "is this about the tampon I saw you pick up? Because Taylor put that in my bag, y'know?"

Zayn's already pale face became ghost white, "ta-ta-tampon?? HAHA NOOOO!! Not about that...besides, you're such a good liar, I bet you're lying to my face right now."

Niall-Hermione pursed her lips.

Zayn continued, "I don't know how, but I will find a way to expose your true identity to the whole student body!"

Niall-Hermione had enough, "you know what Zayn," she tugged at her shirt hem, "you want proof of my identity?"

The unwoman-like girl lifted her shirt over her head, "OMG WHAT THE--", giving Zayn a good three second stare, she brought her shirt back down.

"oh."

Niall-Hermione shrugged, "you wanted proof."

"Yeah, ok, I guess you really are a dude...."

Niall-Hermione nodded her head.

"But...I still don't get one thing," Zayn shuffled his feet in embarrassment, "if you're really a guy, why do you always blush when Louis Ron looks at you?"

"That's not called being a girl, that's called being gay."

Zayn did not know what to say to that, so he nodded his head and left for breakfast.