Olivia Rodrigo - gxg oneshots

she comes home early to make sure you are okay (tw)

trigger warning: self-harm
please skip if you don't like reading that kind of thing

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Everything for me has felt so hard lately. It felt like I was drowning, but every time I attempt to swim for air, I'm restrained down by chains and weights that keep me just underneath the surface.

Of course, I couldn't tell Olivia how I was feeling. She'd be heartbroken and blame herself, when it's never once been her fault.

She's the only thing that keeps me going. She's the light of my life. My best friend. My girlfriend. My everything.

But this week, my everything was away. She had a trips to attend.

As for me, I was left behind alone in our shared house. And yeah, we've called every night since she left, and yeah she left me the hoodie that smelled just like her, and she's going to be back in three days, but I was still so in need of her light.

I'd hate to be the one to say it, but I simply cannot live without her.

My brain racked itself remembering every little time I've ever done to inconvenience her, and everyone else in my life. Everything felt like a whirlwind, and my thoughts and actions we not thought out in any way, shape, or form.

Without even thinking, or even realizing what I had done, I slide my back against the wall, and sat on the bathroom floor crying.

My eyes were clouded with tears as I stared mindlessly down at my, now, cut up arms.

I felt my eyes become heavy with tiredness and sorrow. I didn't want to fight it anymore. I let my eyes close shut.

Suddenly, I felt myself being shaken awake.

"(Y/N)," I opened my eyes to meet Olivia's brown ones, which were hazy with tears the threatened to fall against her cheeks.

"Baby, please," Her voice shook, which broke my heart. "How long have you been here? What happened?" She said frantically. I saw her tears begin to stream against her cheek.

I reached up to cup her face in my hands, gently stroking her cheek with my thumb. "Take a deep breath."

"No, how can I when I come home to find you like this?" She pushed my hands away, and got up, opening the medicine cabinet. She started pulling out some bandage wrap and alcohol wipes.

She took a deep breath, then sat back down beside me. "So talk to me, baby, when did you do this?"

"Last night." I mumbled. She tore open one of the packages of alcohol wipes.

"What are you doing back so early?" I asked. "You have a few more days for your trip."

"I tried to call you last night, like we normally do, but you didn't answer. I tried texting you too. Next thing I know I was spamming you, and I had Madison spamming you too. Neither of us got a response."

She gently rubbed the wipe against my arms. The sting from the alcohol made me winced in pain.

Olivia kissed the top of my head in an attempt to comfort me, as she finished cleaning them off.

"I knew something wasn't right. I know how important routines are to you. So I decided to come home early to check up on you." She reached grabbed the bandage wrap and began to wrap it around my arms.

"I'm glad you did." I murmured.

"So am I." She said, finishing the wrap on my arms.

She quickly picked me up bridal style, carrying me carefully to our bed. She placed me down gently. She quickly got on the bed with me, wrapping her arms around me, pulling our bodies close.

"I'm so sorry," I said my voice breaking. I was choking back a sob as everything that had happened in the past twelve hours finally set in.

"Don't be sorry. I get it, things for you are hard. Just know I'm here for you baby." Olivia kissed the crown of my head, pushing my hair back from my face in the process. "But we need to find a healthier coping mechanism."

"I don't know what I'd ever do without you Liv." I cuddled in closer to her.

"You'll always have me."

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word count: 695

author's note:
this one is a lot more angsty then the others. my brain has been all over the place lately, so this let me dump all of my emotions somewhere. i'm working on a sweet a d fluffy request for the next one so it will all even out i promise guys