That's The Way It Is (An Epistolary Novel)

083

TUE at 3:47 PM

Juan Javier:
I want to see you ☹

Juan Javier:
Can I see you now?

Gwen:
Busy day today...

Seen 3:51 PM.

3:57 PM

Juan Javier:
You know it's not that bad to make an effort haha

Gwen:
What?

Juan Javier is typing...

Gwen:
So what are you saying? I'm not making an effort in this relationship?

Juan Javier:
No, I'm not saying you're not making an effort...

Gwen is typing...

Juan Javier is typing...

Gwen:
There's a but

Juan Javier:
But it's not enough

Gwen:
Okay.......

Gwen:
So are we counting who's a better lover, then?

Seen 4:04 PM.

Gwen:
I think you have a lot to say

Juan Javier is typing...

Juan Javier:
You know what? I keep on thinking if this is what I deserve. If this is all I could get.

Juan Javier:
I don't want to demand but it feels like I'm not getting what I deserve.

Gwen:
So I'm not enough

Juan Javier:
I'm saying I don't deserve a half-assed love!

Seen 4:10 PM.

Juan Javier:
I'm tired... of always being the one who's exerting more effort.

Juan Javier:
Hindi ako nanunumbat pero pagod na ako. Na laging ako na lang ang mas nag-eeffort. Ang nag-iinitiate.

Juan Javier:
Sorry kung pakiramdam ko mas ako yung nagmamamahal. Kung hindi ko maramdaman yung pagmamahal na dapat kong maramdaman.

Seen 4:16 PM.

Juan Javier:
I liked you for years.

Juan Javier:
Maybe it put you on pedestal... that I love you more. That it will be my loss if you leave me. That I will be the more miserable one.

Gwen:
Maybe you're right.

Gwen:
But has it ever occurred to you that maybe that half-assed love you think I give you is my best? Because this is me, okay?

Gwen:
I'm sorry if I wasn't enough. If my love wasn't enough for you. If this is all I could give.

Seen 4:20 PM.

Gwen:
I'm hard to love

Juan Javier:
It's not true

Gwen:
It is

Gwen:
You know it

Seen 4:23 PM.

Gwen:
I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be. There are still a lot of things I have to work hard for

Gwen:
I'm trying my best. If you think it's still not enough, if you think it's not what you deserve then I don't know how I can make up for that

Gwen:
Just say it

Seen 4:28 PM.

4:32 PM

Juan Javier:
I think we should take a break.

Juan Javier is typing...

Gwen:
Yeah

Gwen:
We should

Seen 4:34 PM.