Mouse

chapter six

"Mouse!" I heard Ricardo call sharply, making me stop in my tracks.

I was surprised he had even noticed me from where he was swinging on the trapeze high above my head.

I had been going across the ring on my way to see Alex and James to deliver a message from my Aunt Lizzie, and let them know she had finished their new costumes.

Now I looked up at Ricardo. He was sitting on the swinging trapeze, his legs dangling where he usually practised and performed his act.

He looking relaxed and at ease, but there was a sheen of perspiration on the swarthy skin of his bare torso that told me he had been exerting himself vigorously during his practice session, and was now probably having a break.

Even though he was more than twelve feet above my head I felt his dark eyes boring onto me intently.

It was just over a month from  my grandfather's funeral, and I had moved in with Ricardo. I dutifully washed and cleaned and fed him, after doing these things, I tried to avoid him if possible when I could. In the first week he had taken it easy with me, I guess because he manage to find a little sympathy for me losing my grandfather, but it seemed he was now making up for that

I was discovering lately he seemed to take great delight that now he was my husband, it gave him the right and the power to boss me around to do his bidding, knowing full well I was too intimidated by him to answer back or refuse.

And the novelty had not worn off yet unfortunately for me

"Come up here, I want to speak with you," he demanded in his usual commanding way

I felt my unease grow, wondering if he was serious. What did he need to talk with me for? It wasn't like we had ever shared any meaningful conversations before, where he thought my opinion mattered to him.

"I-I have to find my cousins," I replied, " Aunt Lizzie wanted me to tell them about their costumes"

"Never mind that, they can wait," Ricardo dismissed my explanation impatiently, "Just get up here"

"B-But-" I tried to protest weakly as I looked up at him. Apart from the fact that I did not want to be anywhere near him in general, but because he was up on the trapeze, it only heightened my reluctance.

His comfort zone up in the air dangling from the trapeze, was my nightmare

He knew I didn't have a head of heights, and that I was petrified of being so far from the ground.

"Can't you come down here and speak with me?" I then suggested weakly.

"No, I prefer you to come up here, it is easier," he lied, there was a hint of a malicious smile on his lips, and I realised this was another one of his ways of toying with me

"I can't" I told him in a small voice

"Of course you can damn it! Just climb the ladder and get up here, and stop being so pathetic!" he snarled loud enough so that everyone else in the vicinity heard. They stopped what they were doing to glance around in curiosity to find out what was going on.

I felt my face burn with humiliation. He would not have spoken or treated me this way if my Grandfather had been alive, which I found the bitterest of ironies

"I am waiting," he then called out tauntingly looking down at me with am almost challenging look as he watched to see what I would do now.

I had the sinking feeling that if I dared to defy him now, and just walk away like I really wanted to do, he would have great pleasure in making sure he would make me sorry for my act of defiance at another time and in another way.