Mouse

chapter twelve

I opened the white painted wrought iron gate and started up the short garden path.

But I never even reached the front door when it opened and I found myself staring at the tall man, whose fair hair was starting to thin at the top, his green eyes jolted some recognition in my memory that told me that this was my father.

My heart was in my mouth as I stopped dead. Those green eyes were now inspecting me up and down, looking at me as if he didn't quite believe I was standing there; which was probably understandable under the circumstances

Then he smiled, "Melanie, Oh God! I can't believe how you have grown up. You look so like your mother," he suddenly looked overcome, and I thought he was going to cry

"I just stood there smiling awkwardly, not sure what to say or do. I guess I could have said 'Hello father,' but it felt all too strange, and the words would not form on my lips

Recovering, he ushered me to go into the house, putting his arm around me and leading the way.

I found myself going through a small hallway, then through another door leading into the large living room. A dark haired woman stood with her hands clasped together, her blue eyes looked a little anxious, and she smiled at me uncertainly

Melanie, this is my wife Isabel, she has been looking forward to meeting you almost as much as I have," My father said.

Isabel, stepped forward now and held put her hand, her smile showing more warmth as she greeted me, "Yes, its lovely to meet you at last Melanie, there was a time we thought we would never have had the chance"

I wasn't really used to being the centre of all the attention and fuss. It felt a little weird, but nice all the same

"I still can't believe you are actually here," My father then admitted his eyes roving over me again

I let out a small nervous laugh, I can't believe it either," I admitted

"Sit down and I will go and bring some refreshments for us, I am sure you and your father have a lot you want to say to each other," Isabel then said, tactfully leaving the room whilst me and my father sat on the large brown leather sofa and had a chance to be alone together for a little while.

"So, you really are not angry at me for giving you up so easily to your Grandfather when you were young,?" he asked anxiously, scouring my face to study my reaction

"N-no, not now when I understand the situation.. It must have been very difficult for you" I replied quietly

He frowned still looking troubled, "I don't think I would be so understanding and forgiving if it was me" he then admitted, "There has hardly been a night I haven't been in anguish about my decision. But at the time, I don't know how I would have coped with you on my own, you were so young. It was all too daunting a prospect, especially when I had just lost your mother, I could barely cope with looking after myself for months afterwards.. Which was why I thought you would be better with your Grandfather." he hurriedly explained as if he was still trying to justify his actions to himself, rather than me

"I do understand, you thought you made the right choice at the time," I tried to reassure him not wanting him to get upset

He smiled, and I found myself having a quick flashback memory of his younger self smiling at me something similar noticing the crinkled lines around his eyes and mouth, they were a little deeper now.

"You don't have to say that just to try and make me feel better." he then said gently,

"After a while I realised I had made a terrible mistake in agreeing to your Grandfather's terms. At the time I seriously didn't believe he would stop me from seeing you. But I was wrong about his determination. He somehow blocked and diverted all my attempts to get in contact with you, and then I realised too late that I had lost you as well. Believe me it was not the right choice," he finished grimly