Mouse

chapter twenty five

I stirred from my sleep trying to move, then I realised I was being restricted by a weight and an almost comforting warmth that was unfamiliar to me, It made my eyes flutter open and I found myself being greeted with the very up close familiar blue pyjama top Ricardo was wearing, where my head was almost resting against his chest area.

Now my brain registered that the weight I was feeling that was restricting my movement, were in fact that of his arms around me, and I found myself recalling the night before, and how I ended up in this position when he had insisted I share his bed with him to help my anxiety

Despite my initial concerns about his offer, it seemed to have worked, as I must have drifted off to sleep, which was something I thought at the time ,would be something I would not do so easily.

But now, as I noticed the morning light flooding through the gap in the blinds It all seemed a little unreal, and I was wondering what exactly I was doing, as I felt the rise and fall of his chest against mine in his gentle breaths as he slept on. It suddenly seemed far more intimate than I was comfortable with under the circumstances.

I attempted to move away from him and put some distance between us, but this action only made him stir and open his eyes.

Unlike me, he seemed less troubled when he found me lying in such close proximity to him, a faint smile played on his lips. it was the strangest sensation to have his dark eyes looking at me with something akin to pleasure and warmth, and not that of disdain and disinterest I had once been so used to. It made my breath catch in my throat

"Morning" he murmured still half smiling with some satisfaction "We seem to have slept fairly well after all, despite the limited space in this bed" he reminded me

"I-I guess so" I managed to reply, feeling a sudden flush coming into my cheeks. Unable to quite look him in the eye, I found myself staring at his lips, but this just reminded me of the time when he had grabbed me in the hospital before his operation, and had kissed me.

Now recalling the irony he had held me in his arms all night, and thinking how, when he had seduced me, he had made no attempt to do so then, and how instead he had just abandoned me straight afterwards, brought me back to the reality of our situation.

How things had changed, but thinking back on that time, it made me unable to let myself accept this new intimacy between us. Suddenly I just wanted to escape, feeling wary that I was once again letting my guard down in front of him.

I found myself needing to pull free from his hold to get out of the bed, hastily undoing the guard rail and swinging my feet to the floor to put some sort of safe distance between us.  I was trying to keep my sudden rollercoaster of emotions under control, "I think right now I should really get myself up and dressed, after all your mum will probably turn up soon" was my excuse trying to keep my voice normal and casual as possible.

Thankfully, he made no objection, and let me make my escape to the bathroom without saying another word to me. Once inside, I closed the door, and tried to gather my scattered wits about me again, telling myself not to read too much into what had occurred between us the night before.

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I shouldn't have really been surprised when I discovered Ricardo told his mother about my worries, and that the doctor was concerned about my high blood pressure

The next thing I knew, I was being fussed over and told to put my feet up and take it easy by her and my Aunt Lizzie, and I was hardly allowed to move

Ricardo seemed to find it all amusing, "Now you know how I feel," he smirked, "And when they are giving you the all attention, it's giving me a break"