Mouse

chapter twenty

It was amazing when word got out that I was pregnant, it had suddenly elevated my status with my circus peers, when they came to visit Ricardo in hospital

It seemed the fact that I was bearing 'The great Ricardo's' child, I deserved all the fuss and attention, even more so because of Ricardo's plight.

Suddenly I wasn't being ignored, or hiding in the background, everyone was rallying around me, only too willing to want to help and offer support..

And now I was not the one doing the fetching and carrying for them, but the other way around.. it was a little strange at first, but I still appreciated it

It was just as well Ricardo and I were able to patch up some of our differences when we had, because the next few weeks were even more trying, putting even more of a strain on all of us.

The doctors were doing more tests to check on how badly his spine was damaged, and if there was the hope he could one day be on his feet again. On top of that The circus was getting ready to start up and go back on the road again

Knowing he wouldn't be there with them, was making Ricardo understandably more tetchy and frustrated over what had happened to him, and that he was stuck in a hospital bed hardly able to move.

I noted the more people fussed and tried to be sympathetic towards him, it seem to only irritate him more, no matter how well meaning they meant it. He didn't want sympathy or pity, so I did my best not to fuss over him too much myself, knowing he wouldn't' appreciate it.

And when he threw one of his temper tantrums, I was learning it was better being firm with him, than indulging him and letting him off with it, he came around much quicker, and he was even making some attempt to act somewhat civilly towards me

Being pregnant helped too of course. Now I was not only his wife, but I was going to be the mother of his child, and I guess it made him feel I deserved a little more respect, as he had this old fashioned view about women, that had been passed down through the male generation of circus folk

But it seemed my pregnancy was also stirring up some underhand gossip by certain people as well, as I soon discovered when my Aunt Lizzie sent my cousin Lisa to stay with me, supposedly to help me out.

But I discovered there was also another reason why Aunt Lizzie had decided to send Lisa to me, when I noticed the scratches and bruises on her arms. one day when I walked in on her, whilst she was in the bathroom getting ready

"How did you get all those marks on you? what where you doing?" I enquired with concern

She shifted uncomfortably.. "Oh those, they are nothing really," she tried fobbing me off dismissively suddenly looking uneasy and a little guilty

A terrible thought struck me suddenly,

"Lisa, Benny hasn't been doing this too you, has he?" I asked worriedly

"What?.. no!" she exclaimed vehemently, " Benny would never lay a finger on me like that.. he knows better"

"Alright, if you say so," I replied not totally convinced. She must have realised this because she sighed a little in exasperation, "Look, I wasn't suppose to say anything to you, mother told me not too, but I think you have a right to know" she then said

"Know what?" I asked bewilderment

"The truth is I got this marks when I got into a cat fight with Carla," Lisa then admitted, "And the reason I got into a fight with her because she was spreading horrible rumours and gossip about you"

"What kind of rumours?" I frowned

" Oh that she didn't believe that the baby you were carrying was Ricky's, that it was probably Paul's, and poor Ricky was being cuckolded and couldn't do anything about it because he was lying in a hospital bed, " Lisa replied, "Anyway I got really pissed with her and confronted her about it, and she kept insisting that she didn't think it was Ricardo's child and brought up all that stuff about you and Paul again.. So I got mad and went for her.. that's why my mother send me packing to you for a few days until things cooled down"