Mouse

chapter fourteen

Paul wanted to walk me safely back to my caravan, but under the circumstances I persuaded him I was fine going back on my own. I also made him promise me he would not try to tackle Ricardo about what had happened.

I knew they would be in the same vicinity together in the Big Top when the show started later that evening.

For some reason, as I returned to the caravan, my heart was in my mouth. I was expecting to see Ricardo or his mother waiting on me.

Inside my head, I was already forming an explanation in case they confronted me about my embrace with Paul, and try to assure them it was all innocent, that he had only been comforting me because I was upset.

But when I got back, there was no one around much to my relief, and I realised they were all probably all too busy getting prepared for tonight's show.

I was about to go into my caravan when I noticed my Aunt Lizzie, walking across towards my cousin's caravan which use to belong to my grandfather. She was on her own, so I decided to go over to her to see how she was now.

"So there you are," she greeted me as I approached and she caught sight of me, "We wondered where you disappeared to"

"Aunt Lizzie, I just want to say I am sorry about earlier, if I known the photographs would be so upsetting , I would not have let Lisa show them to you.. I just didn't realise," I blurted out

My aunt eyed me for a moment then, sighed, "I know that Melanie, it wasn't your fault. I have just had a let of resentment build up over the years since your mother left, I was always trying to please your Grandfather, but still felt like I was second best. When she died he was so wrapped up in his grief of losing her and regrets over the fact he had not spoken to her in all those years he didn't pay me much attention. Then you came along to take her place, and once more I felt even more pushed out," she admitted

She had never spoken so frankly before, But it was as I had always suspected, so it came as no big surprise.

"Seeing those photographs just brought it all back, not only the resentment but the grief of your grandfathers death." she then said, "but after talking with your uncle Hugo, I realised it's what I needed to finally get it all out in the open, and out of my system"

She shot me a wan smile, "So perhaps you did me a favour in the end. We were just worried when you vanished though, where did you go?"

"Oh nowhere, just for a walk to clear my head after everything that happened today," I replied casually, finding it hard to look her in the eye.

"That's what your uncle said, he knew you wouldn't be far and would turn up again like the proverbial bad penny" she finished dryly

"Well I am just glad you are alright again," I then said, "I would never deliberately try to upset you"

"I never thought you had," my Aunt replied honestly, then hesitated, looking a little awkward before continuing, "If anyone should be apologising it should be me. I haven't exactly treated you very graciously over the years. It was wrong of me to take out my personal resentment on you. It wasn't your fault, and you didn't do anything wrong.. I want you to know that"

I knew it had taken a lot of guts for her to admit this to my face.

Overwhelmed, I smiled and on impulse I hugged her, "It's ok I do understand," I told her, glad that I had plucked up the nerve to approach her after all.

And although I was pleased that my Aunt and I had manage to patch up our differences from the past, there was still the other little gnawing worry of Ricardo to deal with. Which was why much later that night I lay in my bed tossing and turning.