no control → l.s

twenty two.

I finished changing into my clothes, heading downstairs. i slowly glanced at the kitchen, seeing my mum there. i bit my lip and put my bag down, heading inside.

she most probably heard my foot steps, causing her to turn around and look at me for a moment before turning back around again.

"good morning mum." i said, mumbling. she just nodded in response, not looking at me. Which sort of hurt.

she would always hug me before leaving to school and tells me that she loves me. but i ruined everything and i don't know how to fix any of it.

i, once again, stepped forward and stood right behind her, who was busy making some waffles. i hesitated before slowly rested my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes. i felt her body tense up , but i didn't move.

she then slowly turned around, causing me to back up. she looked at me with sad eyes, studying my face.
" apologize to him, harry." she told me, putting her hand on my face. i just nodded.

of course i wouldn't apologize. i'll never apologize. i haven't done anything wrong, i didn't cheat on him. i let him do it to me for my mum. he threatened me.

"or just- wait," she removed her hand and walked over to one of the cabinets before swinging it open, she took out a piece of paper and a pen. i frowned, watching her walk over to me again.

"give me his number."

my eyes widened at her words, "what- mum! no! i'll talk to him-"

"give me his number, harry." she cut me off, glaring along. i bit my inner cheeks, taking the paper from her and not daring to argue any further. i wrote down his number —yes, i've memorized it— and gave it back silently.

"you're going to be late, but these will be ready soon, eat them first." she glanced over at the clock, turning back to her waffles.

I shook my head -- even though she couldn't see-- "you're right, 'm going to be late. I'm not hungry anyways, I'll eat something in school."

"Are you sure? They're almost ready, " she looked at me, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah I'm sure. Thanks mum." I gave her a small smile. She nodded and grabbed a plate, resting the waffles on them.

I tapped her shoulder one last time, causing her to turn to me again. i pulled her into a hug and closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to start crying again.

she hugged me back without saying a word. i was the first the pull off from the hug before walking out.

i waited about ten minutes for the bus to come by, but of course, it didn't. i groaned and picked my bag up — that was laying on the ground—, and started walking away, heading to school. I'm most possibly going to be late, so i sort of jogged instead of actually walking, locking my gaze with the ground.

right then i was about to pass louis' house. what if he's outside right now? what if he sees me? what if he stops to talk to me? i mean, he wouldn't. right? Even though I want him to.

i shook the thoughts off my head as i reached there, stopping right in my tracks. i was standing like a total idiot, in front of his house. that house where i heard him yell from once. i never knew it was his back then, but now i do. obviously.

i couldn't find myself moving, i just stared at the building in front of me. waiting for him to walk out. move harry, fucking move. you've got no excuse to be here, he saw you, he hates you.

i jumped at the sound of the front door swinging open. i, once again, wasn't moving. then louis walked out, but freezing right in his place once he looked up at me.