no control → l.s

twenty six.

"harry, that was absolutely amazing." niall cheered, putting his arms around me.

i smiled, "thanks ni," he pulled off, giving his lips a twitch. my eyes wandered around and they laid on louis, who was staring at me.

oh right, he fucking kissed that dude.

i don't know what i was doing, so i immediately stormed off to him and grabbed a hold of his arm, walking towards one of the back doors.

"get off! what the fuck are you doing?!" he spat, trying to let go.

i pushed him inside one of rooms, closing the door behind me. i turned to him, anger rising up in me, one again.
"why did you kiss him? who's even that guy!" i raised my voice, shaking.

he scoffed, giving me a glare, "and why do you think who i kiss or not is any of your business?! what you did was way worse! you were grinding on him like a fucking whore!"

a whore.

"i wasn't grinding on him." i looked down, trying to hold back my tears again. not now, please,

"oh yeah? but you definitely did after when i left- or actually, you kicked me out." he said bitterly.

"when will you understand, louis? why are you so slow? use your brain and put the shits together! fucking get it!" i yelled at him, he flinched.

i didn't want to tell him, because i couldn't. i wanted him to figure it out himself, i thought he'd be smart enough for it. i wrote that song, used key words and tried to tell him everything through it. but here he is, calling me a whore.

"what are you talking about?" he asked, curiosity filling up his voice.

"that's exactly my point here, louis. you're slow and it shows." i walked out, leaving him behind. i don't care how long it takes him to find out, or how he's going to find out, i just want him to know that i didn't , and would never cheat on him.

-
i was laying down on nialls bed, playing video games, as usual. it was sort of awkward this time, he kept glancing at me and asking me if i need anything every ten minutes ,it was bothering me. i didn't want him to feel pity.

"are you sure you don't want anything to eat? i can-"

"niall for gods sake!" i put the controller down, snapping at him.

"i'm alright, okay? what happened was in the past and i don't want you to treat me like a stranger, because that's what you're doing right now. i know you're worried and feel sorry but i don't like this, please." i sighed, pushing my hair back.

"i'm sorry, harry. i just can't get the picture off my head and what he did to you- i know i shouldn't even mention it but please tell someone. tell someone that could beat the fucking shit out of him and send him to jail. because that's what he deserves," he told me.

i opened my mouth to talk back but he cut me off and went on, " even if you don't care about yourself, think of all the kids and teenagers he has done this to. they might've been even younger than you. twelve, thirteen.. gods sake maybe even younger than that! that's how pedophiles are, they fuck and harass kids regardless their age!"

i looked down at my lap, taking all of his words in. he was right, of course he was. thing is, i was scared. i don't know why, i just was.

but of course, i didn't tell him that.

"okay." i reassured him, giving a nod.

he frowned, but then nodded and shrugged it off, going back to the game.

"you talked to louis after your performance yesterday?" he spoke up again, cutting off the silence.

"yeah."