The Love We Deny ✔️ [COMPLETED]

Chapter 38 - A different kind of ending

The moment his hand left mine, I beg to whichever God was listening that it wouldn't be the last time I held it.

I hadn't even made it to the waiting room when everything came crashing down on me. It was like the events of tonight were too heavy to carry, too hard to grasp. I fell onto my knees and backed against the nearest wall before drowning in tears. This couldn't be happening.

I loved football and I had seen my fair share of players being injured, but I had never seen a hit as brutal as this one. It hadn't been intentional, but I couldn't shake the way his head had snapped back from the sheer force of the kick.

I didn't doubt that slamming him to the floor and falling the way he did would have possibly injured him and if that was the case then so be it, that was the risk of playing at this level. What had my stomach twisted in terrifying knots was that final kick. It felt like the final nail in his coffin.

Only yesterday he was cooking me my favorite pasta while we laughed over a glass of wine. This morning we had pumped each other up about the playoffs while drinking coffee and running overplays. There was still so much that I needed to tell him. That I needed him to know.

This was not his time. This could not be his fate. He still had so much to give to this world. So many projects he had spoken about. Please don't leave me. I begged internally, feeling myself become more vulnerable by the minute. The tears ran freely along my cheeks. I didn't even try to wipe them away knowing there was no use.

After what felt like hours, I managed to stand up, wobbling towards the waiting room. Soon enough his teammates were piling in. They had won the game, yet only worried faces came into view. I was lucid enough for a bit to hear a nurse tell me that his condition was critical and that he had been rushed to surgery.

When I saw Marketa and Alisson, the waterworks started all over again as they held me tightly to their chest.

"You'll get through this, we're here for you," they chanted as I kept imagining the worst while hoping for the best.

After maybe an hour, my tears stopped and my throat dried. I was a shell of the person I used to be. For the first half an hour I would stand up whenever a doctor would pass by hoping they were here to deliver good news. They weren't they were simply rushing about, doing their jobs. As I realized no one would tell us anything I resigned myself and sat silently, surrounded by friends I held close to my heart.

Samuel was seated next to me with his head hanging in his hands. He did his best to stay calm and to be a pillar for the team in this situation, but I could tell Kyle's injury was affecting him, after all, I wouldn't be far from the truth if I called them best friends. Yolande was next to him, calmly tracing circles on his back with the palm of her hand.

Hours passed and still no news. I hoped it meant they were still working on him. On the bright side, it meant he was still breathing. Silver lining, right?

"Anyone here for Mr. Sexton?" a doctor finally asked. "I see," he said as nearly the entire waiting room stood up to step forward.

Once we were all within earshot he spoke again. My hand grabbed onto Marketa's tightly. I'm not sure her blood still flowed to her fingers, but my fear took precedent. I couldn't breathe as I waited for the verdict. Had he survived the surgery, was he going to be alright? A million questions ran through my head.

"He received severe damage to the neck and nerves in that area, for a moment there it was touch and go, but the surgery was a success," the doctor started explaining. After hearing that my brain tuned out the words coming out of the doctor's mouth. The only thing I could focus on was that he was alive. He had pulled through. "We've placed him in an artificial coma, he's not out of the woods yet, we'll keep monitoring him and checking how his body is healing his injuries," I heard him say at the end.

A coma.

"What did he say about the injuries?" I asked Alisson knowing she had listened attentively to every word that poured out of the white bloused man.

"It doesn't look good," she explained looking at me with worry. The sick unease grew deeper in my stomach. What had I missed? "He has a fractured collar bone and a dislocated shoulder due to the fall." She took a breath looking at me as if asking me if I really wanted to hear the full extent of his injury.

"What about the kick?" I asked, urging her to continue. She pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear nervously before speaking again.

"The kick did a lot of damage, he has a concussion for one, but that's the light part. The way his head was snapped back cause damage to the nervous system and bones in his neck."

"What does it mean exactly? What can happen?" A tiny flare of panic punched the air out of my lunges as I waited for her to answer.

"If the bone moves even half an inch it could kill him. As for the nervous system, it's hard to assess the extent of the damage until he is awake but..." she trailed off, finding it difficult to speak the words out. "He could be paralyzed for life."

At this point, I was unsure whether to be relieved his surgery went well and he was breathing at this moment or worried that he might be paralyzed for life or even still have complications and leave.

The corner of my eye caught something family. I shouldn't have been surprised, yet with everything going on, they were the last people I had expected to see.

Walking into the waiting room was a very distressed Mr. and Mrs. Sexton and a teary Camilla. I didn't waste any time going to them. They must have flown down the minute they were called.

"Hi," I greeted timidly. I didn't know how they were taking the news of not only their son being in critical condition but the reason he was in the ICU in the first place. Would they resent me for not telling them?

All my questions flew away the moment Mathilde wrapped her arms around my frame. "Hello darling, thank you for being here," she murmured in my ear as she held me.

"I'm sorry I never said anything. I just didn't think it was my place to tell you," I cried as the emotions washed over me again.

"Don't worry about this," she replied waving away my concerns. "How is he doing? The doctors didn't say much on the phone." I could hear the worry in her voice and the tense atmosphere we had created all around the room had probably frightened her more.

"I think you all might want to sit first," I announced. I know it was adding pressure to the situation, but I didn't want anyone to have a concussion if they fainted and hit their head. They hurriedly sat down. I crouched down before them before slowly repeating what Alisson had told me a few minutes ago.

I watched as Camilla sobbed in her mother's arms, while his father's expression was filled with pain and worry.

"Oh god, oh God," Kyle's mother kept chanting as she repeatedly wiped the tears from her face until they were too many to handle. Paul on the other hand did not cry, but his clenched jaw and bald fists said more than he needed.

"Do we know when he'll wake up?" Camilla asked. 'When'... How I wish I could be as confident as her. I knew Kyle was a fighter, he could be stubborn as hell when he wanted, yet I still prepared myself for the worst.

As my heart drummed in my chest, my throat tightened.

"We don't know."

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