cold love desire|taekook ff

30:once loved(end)

"i would watch you,from up there
between the clouds"
-

kim taehyung pov
dear once loved..
i'm sorry for the love i couldn't describe fully to you,i'm sorry for our cold desire to stop without a full paragraph explaining our mutual feelings delicately.i'm sorry to put the stopper earlier without putting the diamonds rings on your pale fragile fingers.

i'm sorry to treat you like a plastic better than glass when i had the chance.your everything were breakable yet i kept pushing you over the edge till i regretted every piece grey memories of us.

thank you for staying.
thank you for understanding.
thank you for wiping my tears.
thank you for having my apology there.
thank you for having me...

i need to go walk through the stairs of heaven faster than you.i need to let go your hands but not our red strings so please don't worry about my feelings up there,my soul will shield the emotions before it fall apart.

i probably reluctantly to take a rest, nevertheless i promise to look on you like a child growing up with bunny teeth displayed.your features will always be my favourite physical i once saw and admire.

jungkookie,hyung is sorry to not stay any longer.but my euphoria,i love you...

i always do.

-k.taehyung

story time...
one year later...
the capital of korea,seoul was once where two individuals spared their times willing with one another.having no official speech of i-love-you wouldn't break their bond of mutuality.

however,we hope to write our chapter by pencil,but the eraser will always be by god's grace for everything we wanted to pile up upon the past,present and future.

"hyungie,i came today"

this boy,our male protagonist slowly spoke above whisper,while decorating his body with black suit and white shirt,showing the obvious sign of where the bunny tooth boy was hanging out.he was in front of someone that meant too much for him,but nothing were spoken and the time flew by...

jeon jungkook chuckled with sudden tears drew a parallel line.he quickly used his left sleeve to make the tears absorbed and went away in a flash. "i came here every week to see you hyung,and today i bought you a different flowers too because the latest one withered quite fast" he smiled displaying his front diamond teeth.

"but today was different,today is your birthday hyungie.."

"happy birthday"

he let the bouquet of white daisies sat down under the name of kim taehyung, and crisscrossed his legs while unbuttoning his suit in the time between.

"hyung,do you know that this one year without you,i felt hopeless,almost everything felt numb because even before this,we were just barely get started over again, but you were tired of me i guess"he chuckled at the last few words.

it's true that the bunny tooth boy genuinely felt.if there's nobody by his side,left alone inside four walls,he would truthfully take every sharp solid object to dull everything whenever it was too much.

he needed to release expressions on someone,but behind walls there's only ourself to console the undone feelings.

the time when the others bursted into his concrete and messed up house,they barely saved him from cutting short the long life.jungkook was holding a scissor accompanied by few overused pills here and there.

he is scared,yes
he is shaking,yes
he is alone,no.

"i hate you hyung,you went to heaven first and without me..."jungkook said as he looked up at the bright skyline of his view,even there's fewer group of clouds that even make the pastel blue prominent. "...i mean,we never really talked about it but whenever i'm with you,everything seemed out of control,it was like we're never meant for each other"

"the fire incident,my father,your father and our whole family were really messed up,is it because of us,hyung?" he chuckled whenever he thought that the other half could return his spoken words.

he wonder if miracle does happen,would them be the same if they could turn back the time,explain everything face to face with soft cushion and late night snack? would everything still felt like home?

"it's good that our hyungs are with me,they helped me a lot if you want to know.last time,i screamed badly and tried to kill myself just to see you too,but they said i have to wait,and you too"he whispered.

"jungkookah!"

the owner of the name turned around and looked at the group of people,smiled seeing all of them hold a soft expression towards his petite size.

"yah i already reserved a restaurant!come one the teobokki is waiting for me!"lisa said towards his little brother that just started to get on his feet.jungkook just couldn't help but rolled his eyes and the childish sound.

however,he was truly fascinated.he finally got his long gone sister back to his shoulders for him to lean on.lalisa was finally acknowledging him as part of true family and he could feel it,it felt amazing.

"yeah yeah let's go now"

as they all walked back,jeon jungkook once turned back yet again and bowed quickly.

"bye hyung,see you next time..
my once loved".