That One Night

- ⅩⅩⅫⅠ -

Dear Roman,

     I left,again.You're probably mad right now.At both of us,if I'm guessing correctly.But,what's done is done.We both screwed up.There is no other way to put it.You cannot tell me that you didn't screw up by keeping things from me.Furthermore,I cannot tell you I didn't screw up by not forgiving you as easily as we both wanted me to.

     However,I don't know how things will go from now on.I left without a destination.That is why I cannot and will not tell you where I am going.I will be deciding later on.All you need to know is that...We are both at fault here.My parents,your parents...If Damien knew,so is Damien and your brothers too.So,my point is,there is a lot of people that is at fault here.

     As far as I learned from your mother,you killed Alessandro as he was just about to take my life from me.I didn't want to die that young and that's why I'm thanking you for saving my life.You saved my life,Roman,I will be eternally greatful to you.

     About my siblings,I know they weren't your fault.You were a child just like I was.I wasn't even born when Griffin died,to be honest.Moreover,losing a sister probably did effect me for the bad but...My point is,I was a child.I wasn't going to remember anything.I don't remember anything from my childhood besides our memory from that one night.

     As complicated as it were,our reunion,it was magical nonetheless.Yes,you aren't talkative like me.Yes,you don't smile as much as I do.Yes,we are the exact opposites of each other but...That was the thing about us.We were literal proof that opposites do attract.

     Past seven months were the best months of my life.Yes,for a period of time,I wasn't like myself.I had that one night mare and threw away months from our relationship.I'm sorry for hurting you in the way I did those months.You were so supportive and so patient with me,I never could've imagined being loved by someone that much.

     I loved your mom.She filled that void in me,left by my own parents.I may have hated your father but having to annoy him was a pleasure.I know I'm asking for too much but...Back Mario up when he brings home his girlfriend.He really loves her and she didn't ditch him after learning about this world.

     You can rip 'the Donna' title from me.That is not something I clearly deserve if we are in this situation.I won't be upset because...I've been the Donna for 7 months.It isn't that long and I clearly am not fit for the position.

     As I told you last night,I will understand if you want a divorce.I will also understand if you were to fall in love with someone else.Be mad at me for the rest of your life,if you want.Just know that I needed to leave.First time I left you knowingly,I was leaving for my own good.Running away from my parents.I don't want to run away.

     I have been running for the most of my life.For ten years,I ran away from my family.My entire life,and I still am running,I ran away from everything.That ended up with me having an anxiety disorder,adhd and many emotional disorders that I cannot even list right now.I'm tired and I need to start taking care of myself the way you did.I need to learn how to watch out for myself.

     I don't see your reasoning behind your age.I would've loved you if you were 7 years older than me.Age didn't matter to me.Yet,even after we were married,you chose to keep lying to me.So you lied because you had to be in the same class with Damien.What about after I left?

     What I am trying to make you understand is that your lie was pointless after I left.Befriending my brother to find me was pointless.Abducting my parents was just as pointless as lying about your age.All of it was just pointless,Roman.That's what I think and that's my truth.

     Now,you're reading this,throwing a tantrum because of it.You're probably going to rip this apart out of anger.You'll probably tear out your office,our bedroom...Break vases,emptied whiskey bottles,emptied whiskey glasses...I know you,Roman.You're going to punch through walls,hurt and make your knuckles bleed.You're going to hurt yourself.

     I may have left,but it is no surprise to me that I still care about you.So,don't hurt yourself.Don't do all those things I just wrote.That would upset your mother too.I know you love your mom.

     If you were to choose waiting for me and I come back,I hope things will go back to normal.If you chose to divorce me,send them to Ruby's,I'll get to them in some way,eventually.Furthermore,if you were to wait for me and I won't come...I'm sorry.

     I'm sorry I left you again.I'm sorry I broke your heart all over again.I'm so sorry you woke up alone again.I'm sorry that that one night got repeated.I'm sorry that I left you willingly and knowingly.However,one can take only so much.

     I don't want to die but...It's either I left or I lost my mind completely.I couldn't take it.I couldn't handle being a part of your life.I couldn't do it.You thought I'd be worthy,you thought I'd be able to handle it.Sorry,I proved you wrong.

     I know I promised that I wouldn't leave.I wanted to hold my promise.You were so loyal to your promises,I wanted to be as loyal as you were.However,I know you'd leave me if  did something you wouldn't forgive me for.Just an example,I didn't cheat on you but...What if I cheated on you?

     You never would've forgave me for it.You demand loyalty from everyone around you.Especially from those you love.Especially from...me.So this entire thing feels like betrayal.This entire thing hurts.Leaving was my only option.There may have been another but I don't see it.Not yet,at least.So,I'm sorry.I hope that things work out for the better and I will be able to forgive you.To forgive the man I love,the love of my life.

-love,Cordelia Adele Moretti ❤

P.S. Being loved by you was the best thing I ever experienced and I hope that I loved you just as much as you loved me.Because I tried so hard to be worthy of your love.

She actually left me.AGAIN!