SCATTERED WAVES (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 28

"Belle, come on, let's talk." Mas napayakap ako sa unan habang rinig na rinig ang malakas na pagkatok ni Zayn mula sa labas ng kwarto.

Buong araw akong nagkulong mula nung umalis ang mommy niya, I couldn't think straight and I feel so drain after crying for hours. I may needed his comfort but seeing him only breaks my heart, I don't deserve to feel this way.

Napatitig ako sa pinto nang kumalabog ito, naririnig ko na ang pagsipa at suntok niya kaya't kaagad akong nataranta at napatayo.

"Zayn, stop!" Lumapit ako sa pintuan, ramdam ko na ang inis niya pero wala akong panahong intindihin sya dahil hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

"I will destroy this door, I swear Artemis!" Nagitla ako ng muling kumalabog, halatang malapit ng masira ang doorknob. "Stop hiding from me! Lets fix this, come on, baby... please, lets talk.."

I'm left no choice but unlock the door and let him enter, ilang oras narin naman akong nagkulong and he's right, I'm hiding... I don't know how to face him without hurting myself. Habang tumatagal, sa halip na manabik ako sakanya ay mas narealize ko ang halaga ko...I just realized that the way he hurt me is not the value I expect for myself.

Tinalikuran ko sya nang makapasok ngunit naramdaman ko ang mainit niyang yakap mula sa likuran, he clung into my waist and buried his face on my neck.. "I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused.."

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi, nang hawakan ko ang kamay niya ay napansin kong dumudugo 'to.

"Damn you." I cussed before loosening his hug, "How dare you hurt yourself." Inis ko syang hinila at pinaupo sa sofa.

"I'm sorry.." nakayuko lang ako at sinimulang linisan ang sugat niya mula sa pagsuntok sa pintuan. "I'm so sorry.." he utter in a lowest tone possible, "Im so sorry for destroying you..." huminga ako ng malalim, my chest is aching nonstop... "I'm sorry.."

May first-aid kit sa mini table kaya't hindi ako nahirapang linisan at gamutin ang sugat ng kamay niya, I let my stares stay on his hand before shooking my head, "No Zayn..." ayoko ng umiyak, my eyes is sore from crying too much earlier, "I'm sorry..." I cleared my throat before whispering, "Im sorry for loving you.." when i know its wrong from the start.

"I promised to be better.." napatigil ako sa paglagay ng band-aid ng hawakan niya ang kamay ko, "Just please.. please don't let me go."

Kagat-labi akong napailing, "I don't know, Zayn.. I needed time to think."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin ng dahan-dahan niyang binitawan ang paghawak sakin. "So you're doubting us." mapakla syang ngumisi, "Are you doubting for what you feel right now? Are you losing feelings for me, Belle?" It sounded so bitter and painful.

Muli akong bumuntong-hininga ng malalim, every corner near him feels really suffocating.. "Hindi ko na alam Zayn.." nagmamakaawa akong tumingin sakanya, "I needed space from you, I needed to think.." his eyes turn teary, it breaks me... it affects a lot when I see him hurting, napatungo ako, hindi ko talaga kayang makita ang nasasaktan niyang mga mata, "P-Please... give me some time, to think."

Wala narin akong maiintindihan sa sarili ko, I don't understand what I feel about him anymore.. there's love, hatred, and pain.. hindi ko alam kung anong nanginginabaw sa tatlo pero isa lang ang alam ko... ayoko ng maramdaman ang lahat ng 'yon. Kahit ang pagmamahal ko sakanya, gusto ko ng mawala.

Ilang minuto siguro kaming natahimik bago sya magsalitang muli, "There's no other choices Belle, you're my only choice in this battle. Alam kong Ikaw at ikaw ang pipiliin ko sa huli..." Hinigit niya ako at niyakap, "Please feel the same way..." halos mapunit ang labi ko sa pagkagat, niyakap ko sya pabalik... "But I don't want to pressure you. So let's take our time, You can stay away from me a little while.." I closed my eyes when he pull and gently kiss my forehead, "Let's wait for us... I can wait for us. I love you."