APPARENT | ✓

CONUNDRUM

         It was all going perfect but it still didn't make me feel like it's what I ever wanted. One of them has always been there even when I never had him in my mind for years, his love for me kept growing stronger. The other hasn't known me for so long but the magnitude of his care for me guarantees the same level of affection. I'm Olivia, and this is how I fucked everything up.
       

    ' I like Butch, I always do but J is such a sweetheart. He would give me the world if he could and I felt it. And Butch is more than what people see him as. He treats me differently from everyone. Jamie sacrifices almost all his time just to be with me But I told him that he was a special friend to me because I was scared to tell him how I really felt.' I then sighed in sadness.

' What should I do?' I needed advice after what had happened between me and Jamie.

My mind was telling me that he was helping me get over the loss of my dad in the family. And my heart was showing me that he would be the one for me, all I had to do was come clean too.

' Girl, you need to get yourself together. That nigga ain't got shit for you...' Triny Stevenson. She's my neighbor and best friend.

We don't talk in class a lot but we do have fun outside of it.

' What do you mean? He's got everything I'd ever need. Care and affection, that's what you mean right?...' I looked up at her as she sat on the edge of my bed braiding my hair.

' Liv, if you want a man that's gonna last forever. He needs to treat your coochie good too, you know what I mean.' She gave me that look down onto my face.

I stood up in shock and looked at her

' What! No, I mean yeah but I don't even think about that when looking for the perfect guy...'

' Liv, we've known each other for nearly 3 months now. And you think I haven't noticed when you're lying? Girl, sit your ass down and listen to me.' I sat down in a humble manner and crossed my legs.

' I know that getting physically satisfied isn't the premise of the whole argument of relationships but we can't leave it out you know. I mean, do you think he can even sweep you off your feet like Christian Grey?...'

' Hey, you're too young to watch that movie.'

' Girl, I read the book and I told the cashier that I was getting it for my grandma. She totally understood the situation. Anyway, what I'm tryna say is...' She finished braiding my hair.

' I should go for Butch because he's an all-round guy?...' I needed to be sure before my next actions.

' You said it, not me. So if anything happens, blame yourself for it...And yes, I'd go for Butch if I were you. Just saying my thoughts out loud...yeah. Not telling you what to do.' She washed her hands clean from the scene of the triangle I was in with those guys.

' Ok, ok, I get it, Triny. If anything happens, I should blame myself for it. Not you...All clear now.' She's only seen me make one face when I'm lying, but not the one I made when I just told her that.

          I walked Triny to her home next door. It took a couple of seconds

' So I'll text you later tonight?' She thought that my mind would be free for a late-night convo after absorbing all that stuff about the 2 boys I'm starting to fall in love with.

' Nah, I need to think about stuff and do my homework. And I'm going to bed early tonight so we can move it to tomorrow if you don't mind?' It wasn't an awkward moment at all but I felt like it was a major one.