Broken (A Walking Dead FanFiction)

Chapter 22 - Alone

The next day was awful. Since Dawn found out I was conscious and on my feet again, thanks to Beth, I've been working my butt off. If we did even a tiny little mistake, we got punished. I was okay with that, though. Mainly, I was worried about Beth. Would I ever be her friend again? Sure I would. Beth is a kind, inspiring, and forgiving person. She may have her moments, but she's been through a lot lately. I should cut her some slack.

Moping the floors was probably my least favorite job. I would much rather organize the medicine or clean an office. But, what could I do about it? Dawn's the boss and we're her workers. Things aren't going to do themselves.

Before the apocalypse, my dad told me I should be happy for what I have because it may not be there tomorrow. Back then, I didn't think about it. I thought that life would always be on earth until, you know, the sun burns out. Yet here we are on the edge of humanity, starving ourselves on the idea that life can be saved.

It can't.

It won't.

And we have to face that fact. Soon, the earth will just be another planet in the universe and there will be no life ever again. Stars won't exist, wars never happened, humanity never lived.

We will be left with nothing but our damned souls in the ground of what used to be our home. Well, I guess we should've known better. It's not like death was never going to happen to us. We knew this was coming, we just didn't think it would be this way and this soon.

The joke was on us this whole time.

There's not just a crack in humanity. It's all shattered...broken. Just like us.

I want to say I'm sorry to Beth. To everyone. Maybe even Elliot. I want to say sorry to my dad because I didn't follow his advice. I didn't appreciate things back then, when I should've. I should've been proud to have food on my table. Proud to have money. Proud to have a safe house. Proud to be in a not-so-messed-up world.

I should've been, but I was not. And I guess that's the thing I regret most in my life.

I saw Beth from a distance and walked over to her. I'm ready for a fresh start. Things may be bad now, but we need each other.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. No, not just yesterday. For everything. I've been a pain in the ass ever since this started. I wish I could say that to Rick and the group too...," I whispered, ashamed.

Beth looked up at me and even smiled a bit. "It's okay. I haven't exactly been a sunshine either so...plus," she dropped to a lower whisper. "I'm on my period."

We both got a good laugh out of that. I wonder how long it's been since I laughed. Since we both laughed.

"Good?" I asked.

"Good." She replied, still smiling.

In that moment, an officer walked down the hall telling us to get back to work. He practically dragged me back to where the mop was. After, he walked back to Beth and tried to impress her or something, but she did not seem amused. She kind of looked offended.

I really couldn't blame her. After Elliot...well, you get the picture.

Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake telling Carl everything...my secrets, what I did, what he did...

I tell myself that I could trust Carl, that he was a good guy. Still, I regret it because I hate getting close to people, when we are just going to go our separate ways anyway. Carl barely told me anything about himself; it was just me talking about my stupid problems.

I thought I loved Carl, but all this time I barely knew him. I barely appreciated him.

On the day I overheard him and Rick talking about Carl's feelings for me, I told myself I'd be better off and happier alone. There's a reason I'd be happy alone. It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I love someone and it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone because what if you learn you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is that death ends. This could go on forever.

Author's Note:

I actually got a chapter up on a school day guyssssss! But, yeah, this chapter...what do you guys think?

Xoxo,

Grace