Nancy Drew and Ace one-shots

Feelings

     I'm finally on the highway. Driving Florence, Amanda in the passenger seat. I should be happy. These past few months have been so stress filled, and anxiety triggering. It started out with the Aglaeca, then dealing with all the spirits popping up around town due to the open lock boxes. Then almost losing Nancy...

     Seeing her like she was these past couple days made me feel a certain way. Caused new emotions to spring up like a helplessness. Knowing there was nothing I could do but hold her, and tell her we were gonna figure it out, and that she'd be okay. But doing that also triggered something. A sense of protectiveness over Nancy. And it also made me realize what losing her would do to me. How it would change me.

     If I had ended up losing Nancy, I don't think I would even be me anymore. I've always thought the Drew Crew as a whole is what started giving me purpose. And it was definitely a main participant. But it was also Nancy herself. Being able to be there for her. Establishing a connection. Trying to help her navigate her own trauma and issues, and her new family dynamic. I didn't realize that our close friendship was really that close, or meant that much to me until the Wraith had started really messing with her and it changed our dynamic. Made us more distant. If I had lost Nancy I would've lost a part of myself. 

     And that scared the crap out of me. That's one of the main reasons I pushed so hard for this road trip. To clear my head, prioritize my life. Make sure that Amanda remained one my biggest priorities. Finally admitting that losing Nancy would effect me that much made me think about all my relationships. The one I have with Nancy, and the one I have with my girlfriend, Amanda. I shouldn't be caring more about someone whos not my girlfriend, especially if that other person is also a female. So I was really hoping this road trip with Amanda would bring us closer, and maybe start the next step in our relationship.

     But her I am, zoning out again. Thinking about Nancy. Again. I try to get myself to tune back in on whatever story Amanda was in the middle of telling. 

     "Ace, are you okay? You have that worried look on your face again. You said something about feeling like you left something behind earlier?" I turn to look at her for a second before turning my attention back to the road. Concern is etched all over her face. "What was it you think you forgot? You know we haven't gotten that far from town, we could still turn back-"

     "No!" I snap back quickly. Gosh calm down Ace I think to myself. We reach a stop sign. I take this opportunity and turn to her to explain my outburst. "This roadtrip means too much to me. We have to figure out our priorities remember? I told you this on the phone." 

     "Ace..." A sympathetic look appears on her face. "This roadtrip is also supposed to be fun. But you've looked like you're being forced to go on it for this entire car ride. Just tell me what's on your mind. Right now. We're not in a rush. No one's behind us. This road rarely gets used. "

     I sigh and finally make eye contact with her. "Is it Nancy?" she asks. My heart drops. "I mean from what you all have gotten to tell me before we left, it sounded like it was a pretty scary experience. I mean, I can't help but be a little mad at her for dumping my brother, but I wouldn't wish death upon her. It's okay to be worried about her. " But its so much more than worry. Little does she know I was literally contemplating who I loved more, her or Nancy. Or... If I even love Amanda at all. In a way, we are moving kinda fast for having never known each other before. That's the main reason why Nancy and Nick, and Nancy and Gill failed. They weren't friends first. Well also Gill was a manipulative jerk, but still. What if I'm making a mistake?

     "Amanda" I start slowly. I pick up her hand. "What if this is all a mistake?" I say. She releases her hand from my grasp and looks at me confusingly. "What do you mean?" She asks me. I sigh, running a nervous hand through my hair. I didn't think I'd be having this conversation right now. "What if we're moving too fast? What if we're doomed to fail just like Nancy and Gill. I mean you are twins. " That was a stupid reason Ace. She'll have a response to that. Maybe you just try being honest? Oh right, you can't even figure out what the truth is to yourself yet.