Secrets // Taegyu + Yeonbin FF // TXT FF

Chapter 17: Heartbroken

Taehyun's POV:

'SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!'

'HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!??! HOW COULD I ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN???? HOW-- WHAT-- WHY-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

I couldn't think. What just happened?! Did Beomgyu just kiss me?!? Did I really just tell him the whole story of why I'm in this school in the first place??? How the fuck did I even--!?!?? Why?????

My head was a mess. I was completely confused. Nothing made sense to me. Is Beomgyu gay? He has feelings for me? Why did he kiss me-? Do I have feelings for him-!? Why did I kiss back?!! I just kissed a guy!!! Something I thought I would never do in my life!!!! AND WHY DID I WANT MORE?!? WHY DID I ACTUALLY LIKE IT?!!??

I stood against the wall trying to regain my breathing.

Alright... calm down... tomorrow is going to be a new day.

But later did I know, it was just the beginning.

"Hey, Taehyun--"

"GAH-!!" I was surprised. I shuddered and turned around to face the one who called my name. 

"Kai...?"

He smiled. What is it with everyone not sleeping and walking around tonight?!!?

"I haven't heard you call me that for long."

It was very awkward. My heart was beating fast and I wanted to run away. But I didn't. I didn't want to run away again.

"How's it been?" I asked.

"Nothing too much, honestly. Well, not really, that's a lie."

"Is the school still talking that crap about us? About me?" I averted my gaze from Hueningkai's face.

"You mean-- the rumors that have been spread--"

"Yes."

It suddenly quietened down.

"Is that why you left?" I heard him. He knows me better than anyone, that's for sure.

"I'm sorry, Hueningkai. I know, it's cowardish as heck of me. And towards you-- I just left without a word, leaving you behind, and not even texting." I faced him and apologized and then bowed as well.

"Well, the fact that you did not call me "Kai", sure says something. It's honestly weird to hear you call me that." he chuckled.

"Are you not mad at me? Disappointed?"

"Well, I guess I was, but I honestly could've texted you myself as well, so that makes me guilty too." he continued smiling.

I've never seen him sad ever in my life. He's always the most cheerful person I know. That's why people love him. He's always smiling and is able to bring a smile up on everyone's faces. He never cared what people thought of him. He's just living his life.

"I see you are still one of the popular ones here as well. Guess that's something that hasn't changed about you."

"I've changed a lot, Kai... I'm not like I was a year ago. And my popularity here is something I never wanted..." I said and brought my arms to my chest, linking them. "I just want a normal life. I'm afraid to do anything because people will find out and make a huge deal out of it!" I started getting flashbacks.

"I get what you mean," Hueningkai said. "You're remembering the rumors that were spread about us in that school, right?"

"Don't get me wrong. You are my friend, but I never thought of us as anything more. They started beating us up for those stupid rumors just because they were being homophobic! And that wasn't even true!!! I was coming home with bruises that I never deserved!" I started yelling. Hueningkai looked at me apologetically. "You can't tell me that you were fine with the beatings. You never deserved them either." I sighed calming down. "How did you end up here now?" I changed the topic.

"We had to move because my dad got a new job place and this school was the best and the closest to the house we live in now."

"It's that simple.." I mumbled.

I was still standing, my back leaning against the wall as I was lost in my thoughts again.

"And how do you feel about people spreading rumors now?" I heard Hyuka say.

"Well, obviously I hate that. They're spreading the information that is not true, and it leads to more serious consequences." I said, not even realizing that Hueningkai's hands were now placed to my sides on the wall as he ended up being close to me.

"I guess you don't really want to hear it..... but I did like you more than just a friend," he said, staring right into my eyes.

What did he just say...............?

I was so lost in my thoughts, not knowing what to reply. My heart was pounding like crazy. I never saw Hueningkai this way, and after all this time, he tells me THIS.

"Hueningkai...." my hands found their way up to his chest reflexively as my palms were now fists. I tried keeping our distance since Hueningkai started leaning in closer since I haven't said anything.

Our foreheads were now glued together and his chest was now touching my fists as I kept slightly trying to push him away.

I could feel his breath on my face and mine started getting heavier.

"Huening..."

It's like he wasn't hearing me. But he couldn't do it himself. He was hesitant and was stopping himself.

"Beomgyu kissed me," I said before I realized what I did.

This suddenly awoke him. My eyes were shut close and I felt him pull away. I slightly opened my eyes and got a glimpse of my heartbroken friend before I just ran away, with the thought of me breaking his heart not leaving me.