-Faint Love || SeungJin-

39. Desiderium

Changbin’s POV

"It's been more than three months." the doctor said and we nodded. We all were sitting in living room. He came to examine Seungmin. "See, let's give him two more weeks. If still nothing then let's go for another surgery. I will try everything to wake him up."

"Wouldn't it be risky?" Jeonghan hyung said. "I mean he have some brain damages and if we do bypass it be will risky right?"

"Dr. Yoon again you are bringing up your emotions. I know it must be hard for you too but you are a doctor. And we don't have any option. We can't let him stay in the bed more. If he's not showing signs to get up we will do it." he said and all of us nodded.

The doctor inserted the drug in Seungmin's vein and left. That night I stayed in Seungmin's room beside his bed. It was September twenty-eighth. He wasn't awake on his birthday as well as mine. I miss his wishes. Till last year he was the first person who wished me on my birthday and I was the who wished him first but this year he wasn't even awake. I sighed and leaned my head on his bed to drift off to sleep.

Sudden peeping nosies were heard. I thought it must be some car outside but then realization hits me. I opened my eyes abruptly. It was the ventilator. Seungmin's chest was raising up and then down.

"Se-seungmin." I tapped his hand. "Hyung!!!!" I called Jeonghan hyung and within few seconds he entered the room with my parents following him. He held Seungmin's hand and checked his pulse rate then he looked at the ventilator.

"Changbin call Dr. Finn fast!!" I did what he said. Seungmin wasn't able to breathe. Hyung put the oxygen mask on. In few minutes Dr. Finn knocked the door.

Hyunjin's POV

Since last two weeks, that is after his birthday my parents didn't allowed me to call Changbin hyung because, after that I had two panic attacks. One week ago my mother said the doctor gave two more weeks for him if not then another complicated surgery. At this point I was hopeless.

"Class dismissed. Listen to me class. Which month is this?" Mr. Kim asked and everyone said 'October' in sync, "Yes, so concentrate on your studies more ok? Finals are in five months." he said and all of the students groaned. Again I wasn't paying attention in the class. Everyone thought I was a mad man.

The school ended. "Hyunjin we will wait for you in the ground ok ." Felix said and I nodded. I made my way towards the music room.

I sat beside Seungmin's place as I leaned down. I wished to cry again but tears didn't fall. I took Seungmin's guitar out which he gave to Jeongin. I took it from Jeongin and in these four months I started practicing playing it. I started playing it while closing my eyes. That melody reminds me of him. Every time I do this, his smiling face while playing the guitar passes through my mind. I spent few more minutes singing and playing.

"Seungmin-ah, after your birthday I haven't called you. How are you? Mom and dad were tensed few days ago and you know they told me to move on from you. From that day I am afraid to talk to anyone about you. I am afraid that they will tell me something that I least want to hear. Even few days ago, our friends told me not to think about you too much. Jeongin and Felix were crying hard two three days ago and when I asked them they didn't tell me what was wrong. All of them are hiding something from me. The more I get curious about that thing the less I want to know. Seungmin, you are fine right? You are still breathing right? I should wait right? Please talk to me. I am so afraid right now that I don't know what will happen to me after they tell me the truth. I am just praying it won't be bitter." as I said I wanted to cry but I have already lost my tears.

"I said I would compensate and reflect my actions by staying with you for the rest of my life. I should get punishments for acting jerk to you but I hate this one. I hate this punishment of staying away from you. I even said I am ready to stay away from you if that keeps you safe but now you are not safe and still away from me." I forced a smile.