Gone for days (complete)

Chapter Five: Im Here

Noelle's POV -------=======_______-------=======-------_______-------==
"What are you doing here? Your not supposed to be here."
My face felt numb as I pushed up from a field of flowers.
"Oh I'm just hanging around Noelle after all I'm your best friend."
JE said
"Hell yeah! What are we gonna do today?"
"Get you a new fucking gaydar bro. You need a bigger one. Come on."
We legitimately walked to a fucking gaydar store called 'Gayest day' I was about to die.
"come on!!!!" Whined JE.
"Coming. Jeez."
We sprinted into the store.
"Welcome to gayest days! How can I help you?" I woman said behind the counter.
You look familiar.
"Hi were looking to get my friend a bigger gaydar. like a massive one please."
"Why would you want that?"
I could almost see JE's body tense.
"Because she needs a bigger one?"
It clicked.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck we need to leave.

Tugging on JE'S sweater unable to speak I tried to get her to leave.

What is she doing here??????

A tall man walked out 6'0 tall.
Blonde hair. Amber eyes. Pale but not porcelain skin. This is the psycho That hurt me.
My hand flew to my neck but the scar wasn't there. Tears started streaming down my face.
"Tell the truth. Why do you need one!" Screamed my mother. The woman who had worked behind the counter had been her the entire time.
"Because I'm Bi. Dumbass."
The words slipped out of my mouth.
My father now had a knife in hand.
He chucked it at me. Grazing my neck the knife left a cut that would later scar.
"there will be no such fucking thing in this house. Your straight none of this pride shit will enter my house. Understand?" His face was red. Pure rage showed in his eyes.
"Yes dad."
JE had left the store giving me a half hearted smile.
"No-one would love you anyway. Your ugly, Fat , and game for a fucking living. No-one would love you. No-one In their right mind would."
I looked down at my body self consciously. Did I really look that fat? I was always told I was a twig at parties and when other family was around. Was it that bad? was I really that ugly? I hated my appearance. It always was to bland or to much. I could never get it right. Gaming made me happy though. That's the one thing he couldn't take away. Gaming made me happy.
"Okay dad." I whispered walking back up to my room.
"You know she pays our bills right? She's had enough of your shit. And so have I."
"But honey you know if we didn't hold anything over her head
shed Stop paying those bills."
I couldn't hear what my mother was saying. And I don't know why I was now in my house. But I sat down at computer. Connected my headset. Connected my computer to the monitor and as I did realized I hadn't treated my cut. Panicking I got up. But slowly slowly. I started sinking to the ground. Being engulfed in the hardwood flooring and blood.

No-one would love you.

I woke up startled panting and sweating.

"NOELLE! Oh thank god I thought you were dying. Do not scare me like that!" Screamed JE over the phone.
"Hey hey wow. I'm fine. I'm not even thirty theirs no way I'm dying in my sleep unless I'm being murdered!" I looked at my clock. 1 AM.
"Fuck. Its so early. What time is it for you?"
"No idea. I don't really care either. What just happend? Your entire body is shaking. Do you need a doctor?"

Probably but not the doctor your thinking of.

"no. no I'll be fine. But I just. Had a nightmare."
I could feel her trying to stare me down. Luckily my phone was turned up at my ceiling.
"What kind of nightmare." She asked genuinely curious. I couldn't determine if she was concerned or scared or even occupied with anything else. She was always so attentive. Always so involved.
"it was nothing." I say trying to brush off her curiosity.
"it wasn't nothing. You woke up in a cold sweat after two hours of tossing and turning. Tell me."
I took a shaky breathe.

Here goes

"when we had just met. About two days after my birthday I came out to my parents as Bi. They laughed at me. Told me I was fat Ugly. That no-one would love me for what I do with my time. That no LGBTQ+ anything would be allowed in their house and that. I wasn't good enough. But after I told them I was Bi." I started choking up.

Keep it together Noelle.

"After I told them I was Bi. My dad chucked a knife at me. He had always been deadly accurate with them. So he hadn't wanted to kill me. But that's how I got this."
I picked up the phone. Making sure not to show my face. And showed her the long scar running across my neck.
"I swear to god where is your father. I'll kill him myself."
Pure rage had flared in Her eyes. I'd never seen her like this.
"Hey calm down. I'm fine. My mother called the cops the next day. He's not getting out of jail for a while."
She nodded. Briefly the left side of her face was visible.
"Woah..." I breathed praying she didn't hear me.
She did.
"What?"
"Ohhh um. What's that on your face? Is it like an accident or makeup or a-" I paused thinking "A birthmark?"
She moved away from her camera. Clearly very red.

Had I offended her?

"You don't have to tell me but I was ju-"
"Its a birthmark." She said moving her hair out of her face.
The shape it made was like a flower. And it was directly over her eye and covered almost half of her face.
"Wow. That's so..."
A million words flooded into my head.

Hot, cute, amazing, incredible, you.

"You." I said. That's the only word that seemed right.

Wow cheesy much Noelle? Your a fucking idiot. No-one would love you ever.

"thanks Noelle. Oh yeah hey I have to go. My phones gonna die. And I have a-" she stopped "A friend coming over. Send me your address okay?"

A friend???

"Okay will do. Bye JE."
"Bye Noelle."
She hung up.

Why did she pause at a friend coming over?
She doesnt have a...
What am I talking about? Of course she has a boyfriend she's the straightest fucking person I know. Plus who on gods green earth would love a fatass like me? I eat potato chips and sit on my fucking ass for a living. I'm ugly as fuck to. I just-

Tears appeared out of nowhere In my eyes.

"Fuck of course she has other friends you Idiot. She has me as a person to lean against. Not tell everything to. I'm just a friend. Nothing more. Possibly less. Your nothing to her. Why do you even think she's your best friend? Why don't you have any other friends?!" I screamed at myself. My mother was home. But its not like she gave a crap.
"YOUR FUCKING NOTHING." I screamed at myself. "NOTHING TO HER. Your a fat ugly idiot who can't do anything right. Do something right for fucking ONCE." I screamed. Tears running down my face. Sobs involuntary coming out of my mouth.

Your ugly, fat , and game for a living. No-one would love you. No-one in their right mind.

"No-one would love me. No-one." I started shaking. "Absolutely no-one." I repeated while thinking and sobbing.

Why hadn't he just killed me?

"No-one"

Why hadnt he just hit dead center?

"Would Love"

I can't take it anymore.

"Someone like me."

Find something. Anything. End it all.

"NOELLE SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR!"

I walked downstairs solemnly.
How long had I been sobbing? Did I fall asleep?

Who would want to see us?

I opened the door. Eyes puffy. Tears still running down my face.

Fatass

I looked up seeing a face so familiar I almost cried because of my joy.

"Hello? I'm looking for a Noelle Rules."

"This is she."

I looked up into her amber eyes.

Days. That's how long I sobbed.

"Told you I had a friend coming over."
I smiled.

"Finally get to see my face."

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