The Wrong Party

Tired pt 1

I figured out after a few months, that I could actually get tired of this. 

Not of Reina, not of my babies, not of being a father. No, none of those things could I ever get tired of. But I could get tired of my job, my boss, my work schedule, the lack of intimacy between Reina and I, the fact that our children were constantly growing, but the relationship between her and I had hit a plateau. 

I had also grown tired of Taehyung's presence in my life. He was always in and out of my house to see Reina and the babies, I should be thankful that he can help her when I'm not around but they had even started sharing inside jokes that made my chest pang with jealousy. Every time she was texting on her phone, I knew without asking she was talking with Tae. 

I know that there isn't anything going on. But Chelsea and I had been talking about it for a while and one day I spilled my guts to my boss because I practically cried over dropping my coffee on the floor and she asked what had me so stressed. I spilled everything, wanting Reina to be my girlfriend, her time with Tae, the fact that in the nine months since the twins were born she and I hadn't gone further than kissing but I was craving her physical touch and her love. 

Reina is the perfect mom. 

She loves our children so much, and does everything for them. I told her that if she wanted, she didn't need to go back to work. That she could be a stay at home mom and I'd make up the extra income. She denied at first, but once her maternity leave was over and she worked a shift, she had a meltdown and decided to accept the new role in her life. We haven't looked back since. 

She cooks, she cleans, she takes care of our children with so much love and adoration that it almost makes me jealous. She tells me she loves me. She tells me she doesn't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. So why the fuck was it so hard to just commit to me? Commit to what we have? So hard to touch me? 

I have tried over and over to initiate something but it always ends the same 

"I'm sorry my love, I'm just so tired"
"I'm sorry my love, I can't tonight"
"I'm sorry my love, I'm so exhausted I can't see straight" 

And not even five minutes later she's sound asleep in my arms with her face on my chest. And I love her so fucking much that I just accept it and run my fingers through her hair until I fall asleep. 

Everything came to a halt when the twins were ten months old. Fathers day. The day I fucked everything up. 

I woke up and rolled over to stretch, I reached for Reina but like usual she was already out of the bed. I smiled and walked down to the kitchen

"Morning my love" she cheesed as she kissed my lips 

"Morning gorgeous" I smiled and grabbed her ass as she walked past me making her laugh as she sat in front of the twins that were in their height chairs with breakfast 

"Ahdada!!" Mae squealed 

"Dadda!" Jay cheered and threw a piece of cereal at me making me laugh as I kissed both of them 

"My babies" I cooed and brushed my nose against both of their noses making them laugh, Mae grabbed my cheeks and giggled as I growled at her and kissed all over face "my princess, I loooove you" I sang as she babbled at me and smacked my head 

"Your breakfast is on the table babe"

"Thank you" I sat beside her and smiled. She makes breakfast every morning, it's different every morning, but amazing every time "oooh my favorite" I cheesed as I picked up my fork and dug into my cheese and bacon omelet