sixty-nine

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For Tony, any time Y/N was away was awful. Especially for missions like this, when there was no known date of return. It reminded me of when she had left the first time, after his birthday and when he had found out the truth about her.

He remembers coming back to the mansion for the first time after having defeated Ivan. He walked around that destroyed mansion slowly, remembering what had happened just a couple of days before. Tony flinched as his mind replayed Y/N crashing through the glass wall and her showing up, all bandaged and bruised, the next day. He carefully made his way up the stairs, to Y/N's old room. It looked like it had been ransacked, which makes sense, he noted. She was probably in a hurry. Tony absentmindedly wandered around her room until he decided to collapse on the bed. As he laid there, he took in her smell that still lingered in the sheets. It caused Tony's heart to clench in his chest. He had messed up, so bad, and it scared him to the core.

As Tony got the mansion fixed up, he kept Y/N's old room the same. Not letting anyone into it. Pepper never questioned it, they didn't have guests stay over anyway. When Pepper wasn't around, Tony would hang out in the room, remembering what he had done and who he'd scared away.

Now, with Y/N back is his life and officially his girlfriend, he still is taken back to those times without her when she was gone. Tony barely slept when she was away. And if he did get a few moments of rest, it was always on her side of the bed taking in her scent. When she left for her first mission since they were official, Tony found one of her hair ties in his sink. He slipped it onto his wrist. And now, whenever she was gone, he'd slip one of her hair ties onto his wrist as a reminder. When his longing for her would become too much, he would twist it around or flick it against his wrist.

Bruce had picked up on Tony's little habit with the hair ties. It was a good warning when Y/N was gone and Tony was going to me a little more all over the place than he usually was. Y/N had barely been gone two days, when Bruce walked into the lab to find Tony tinkering and surrounding by a few dozen coffee cups. He glanced at his friends wrist, noticing the hairband.

"How long's she going to be gone?" Bruce asked, making his way to the station he had been at the day before.

"I don't know," Tony answered, not looking up from whatever he was working on. "Fury's got her on some super secret team now."

"Can you contact her at all?"

"Yes, doesn't mean she'll answer. Talked to her yesterday and she said she'd call as soon as she could."

"Then she'll call when she can. Y/N can't go too long without talking to you either."

A small smile ghosted over Tony's lips. "Yeah. I guess-"

"Excuse me, Mr. Stark," JARVIS interrupted, "but Agent Rogers is on the line."

"Put her through!"

"I'm going to let you have a moment," Bruce said, slipping out of the room.

"Hey, Tone," Y/N's voice filled the room. Just the sound of it made Tony feel a little better than he had. "Sorry I couldn't call you sooner. You know how it is."

"I may be able to find it within myself to forgive you," Tony responded. "Depending on how soon you get home."

Y/N sighed. "I don't know when that will be yet. I've got to help with the current situation, then we'll see what happens after. We may be right on to the next thing."

"Then I'll come to you. Just tell me where."

"Oh how I wish you could, Tony... I had a hard time getting any sleep without you last night."

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