(jaylor au) clandestine meetings in beautiful rooms

Your Ivy Grows

I swear that if I have to spend another moment with Prince Alexander, I shall throw myself off the balcony. He is a man with an ice-cold personality, and I don't know how I haven't been frozen by him yet. He pulls me into an empty room on our way to the ball."Do you want to be killed?" He hisses, but I turn my back to him. "Do you want them to see what a child you are? You don't get love in this life, Taylor. The sooner you realise that, the easier it will be. You have got to do more than try." He hisses. "This world is a cruel game and if you don't play it right, it will be your life that pays the consequences."
"I know how it works." I snap, and he raises his eyebrow.
"Then you will act as if you love me, enough that it convinces your mother. So that everyone will see how happy you are to be in love with me."
I don't reply, just fold my arms across my chest and wait for him to lead me towards the ballroom.
"I can't wait to see it then." He mutters.
I can act, surely I can. I haven't read all of those books for nothing.
He takes my hand, pulling me out into the hallway.
I can be in love with him.
I wrap my arm around his waist, and as we approach the ballroom I can hear my mother's voice.
"Taylor! Taylor!" She says, walking up to me and wrapping her arms around me. I can tell that this is for show... this act of hers. Acting as if I am the best thing that has ever happened to her. As if I was her favourite. But I wasn't a son. I could never be king. I could only ever be a queen. And in my world, that is almost as bad as not being Royal at all.

My mother's friends are gathered around us, and they all tell me how lovely my dress is, and ask questions.
There are only one set of eyes I am looking for though, and they do not appear to be in this room.
"Where is Prince Joseph?" I question, and my mother looks around.
"I am not sure, would you mind going to see if you can find him?" Elizabeth asks me and I nod, eager to get away from Alexander. The fact we were such close childhood friends means that they trust him. They trust me enough to be with him.
I find my way back to his room, so grateful for this chance to get away from Alexander and be with Joe. The guards announce me, and I enter his room.
He's staring out the window, looking at the trees that surround the palace.
"Are you going to the ball?" I ask him softly.
He mumbles something under his breath, but I cannot hear what he says.
"Your mother wanted me to find you," I murmur, and he turns to face me.
He sighs and stands up. "Don't you get tired of staying behind the walls?"
"Of course I do," I admit to him.
"I'm sure Alexander will love that dress," He tells me and I blush, turning away. "I'm sure people won't be able to take their eyes off of you. You're shining like a chandelier."
"No they won't, there are many pretty things to look at..." I trail off.
"No there aren't." My cheeks have turned a pale shade of crimson red, and I turn away from him. 
"Were your suitcases brought up to you?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Yes."

I can hear the music playing from the ballroom when we return.
Alexander is waiting outside for me, waiting to lay eyes on me. He's mad, I know that much. He doesn't like that my mother trusts Joe around me.
"Are you ready?" He asks and I nod, knowing what he means. Am I ready to fake my love for him? Act as if he is the best thing that's ever happened to me? That I am madly in love with him?
I link arms with him, and Joe stands beside me, looking off into the distance.

The announcer waiting at the top of the stairs reads out our names, and I give the crowd my best smile.
The ballroom is lit up with lights, and everyone's eyes are on us.
I lean into him, and we walk down the stairs.
Joe walks after us, and I know that the only way that I am going to make it through the night is if I have alcohol - even though I only tried it last night. All I want to feel is like that, like I was free, like I didn't have anything weighing me down at all.
"Would you like a drink?"  Joe asks, whispering softly into my ear and I nod.
Whether it was an accident or not, he brushes past me, and I feel the warmth of his hand on my back.
I feel empty when he isn't at my side when it's only Alexander holding my arm.
"He looks like a lost puppy," Alexander murmurs coldly beside me. "Wandering around the room. Pathetic."
I pull away from him, catching him off guard. He lets his hand down and I slip away, down the stairs.
"I am going to get something to drink," I say over my shoulder. "Good luck, Alexander." I raise my eyebrows, unable to stop myself from looking at his face, and the look of shock that is plastered on it. I smirk.
Quickly, I find Joe, who hands me a glass. If my mother were to see me - god help me.
"I haven't been drunk before. Hopefully, my mother won't see me with this. She detests it when I drink. Princesses shouldn't do that, Taylor ... and you are a princess, you should know better."
"Well then. You'd better drink it quickly," He laughs, and I swear I've never seen someone with a smile that glows as much as his. He grins, handing me a glass of... I don't even know what it is. Hopefully, it's like what I had last night. Hopefully, it makes me feel better, more relaxed. Like I'm not about to faint... like I can ignore the eyes that are peering over at me.
"What is the point of going to a ball when you cannot drink?" Joe asks and I laugh. He drinks his in three mouthfuls. "That's the best part," He tells me, and I finally find the courage to meet his eyes. I truly fear I will get lost in them, I haven't seen eyes that look as... alive, eyes that feel like a breath of fresh air when you look at them. Eyes that sparkle, eyes that capture you within their gaze, and you know there is no other choice but to surrender to their current.
I can't drink mine in one go, I just take sips of it. Although, when I see Alexander making his way towards me, I gulp it down and place the glass back on the table and move a few steps away from Joe. This really is a dangerous game I'm playing - but it's making me feel alive like I can breathe like I could reach up and touch the stars. As if I am not slowly wilting away behind these walls.

"Taylor, darling." Alexander knows that people are watching us, hell...I know that people are watching. I know that I have to pretend to love him.
If I want this dangerous game to continue, if I want to keep my hand outstretched towards Joe... when it is so clearly promised to another, then this is what I have to do.
Pretend I love him, pretend we're meant to be.
He guides me away, his hand tight around my arm.
I turn back, but Joe has disappeared from my vision. Where has he gone? I don't even have time to question where he went to, because Alexander starts speaking against
"Now, Taylor." He squeezed my arm tightly, leaning in, so close to me that I can feel his lips against my skin. I wince at his touch. "Your mother is watching us."
I laugh, pretending that he has said something funny. This is what I have to do.
"Kiss me." He says, and I freeze.
"What? No." I try to move away, but I can't.
"Do it. People are watching." He's testing me, I know it.
This is the sort of game where you have to be two steps ahead of everyone else.
I feel sick, and I try to look around and see if Joe is watching because I don't want him to see this. But my eyes meet his, and he's watching. He doesn't look away, doesn't break eye contact with me. Instead, he just gives a short nod, almost as if he knows exactly what Alexander is asking of me. I can't look away from him. I don't want to kiss Alexander - there's only one pair of lips that I would want against my own, and his eyes are locked with mine.
"Okay," I say, and he spins me around forcing me to face him.
He kisses me and I feel my body go cold.
This does not feel right.
I should not be kissing him. I do not want to be kissing him. I do not love him.
"Well!" My mother calls out, coming towards Alexander and I. "This is an evening of celebration! Firstly, I would like to make a warm welcome to Queen Elizabeth and her son, Prince Joseph, who are here to buy our land!" The crowd cheers and I smile, as Alexander puts his hand on my waist. My lips are stained. They are tainted by his, I might as well have black ink covering them. "And secondly, I would like to announce the engagement of my daughter, Taylor and Prince Alexander!" The crowd screams and yells and people crowd around me.
Alexander pulls me into him and kisses me again. He turns me around and when he does, I can see
Joe. It's his hand I want to be clasped in my own as he spins me around the room. It's his lips I want against mine. It's his eyes I want, looking at me my dress, the perfume that I picked out just for him.

When we stop dancing, I turn and immediately go back to the drinks table, which I don't even care if my mother sees. I do not care if she has an issue with it, because I need to get the taste of his lips off of mine. Silently, Joe makes his way across the room and grabs another glass of wine. I manage to gulp down my drink in five mouthfuls, relishing the burn.
"Taylor !" My father says as he comes walking over to us. "You are wearing my dress!" He bellows.
"Of course I am! It is one of my favourites!" I say, and he wraps me in his arms. Alex walks towards me, but I turn away from him, excusing myself. Brushing past Joe, I murmur quietly to him.
"We should leave."
"Where are we going?" He asks quietly, and I walk out of the room, and he follows along behind me.
"Taylor? Where are you going?" My mother calls, and I groan.
"I am tired, I'm just heading outside for a little bit."
"I will talk to you tomorrow." She says, going back to talking with her friends.

Once Joe and I are in the safety of the pavilion outside, I burst out laughing.
"I am so drunk," I say, and he grins.
"Alcohol tends to do that," he tells me as I sit down on one of the benches.
"I like being drunk, I think," I admit and he laughs. "My mother would kill me if she found out."
"Did you like kissing him?" He asks out of the blue, and I stop laughing as if his comment sobered me completely.
"No. It didn't feel like it does in the books. There were no butterflies or anything. I felt cold." Joe comes over to me, sitting down beside me. "I am really tired, but I've never felt so alive," I whisper through the darkness. The only light is the lights from the ballroom, which illuminate his face ever so slightly.
"Me too."
"Is your fiancé nice?" I ask softly, and I feel his body tense.
"Yeah." His voice cracks and he doesn't meet my eyes. "As much as he is," he tells me, gesturing towards Alexander, who is standing inside, talking to my mother.  "Kissing can be nice." Joe murmurs, turning to face me again. "With the right person."
"Have you ever kissed the right person?" I ask, and she smiles.
"Not yet." His words hang in the darkness, and I feel them set a spark alight.
"Do you think, if we lived somewhere else, you'd love someone else?"
"Most definitely," he whispered, turning to face me. Even here, in the darkness, his eyes are blue. Even here, they set me on fire. "You can love in secret, though... even with your hands tied."