(jaylor au) clandestine meetings in beautiful rooms

Flashbacks And Echoes

Somehow, Joe and I ended up falling asleep in one of the guest bedrooms on the fifth floor - between the sparks and the alcohol, I can't remember why.
I wake to the sun beaming across my face and blinding me. Joe's not in bed beside me, he's looking out the window as he so often is. I wonder what it is he likes about it so much, I can't look out there for too long, because I end up getting depressed.

"Did we do anything? Oh my god, I can't even remember what I did - " I sit straight upwards, my hands going immediately to my face in shock. I am relieved to see that I am still in last nights dress. Joe turns to face me, grinning.
"I slept on the couch the couch, Taylor. Nothing happened. You almost passed out on me in the courtyard, that's what happened. I don't know whether it was the corset, the alcohol or the kiss that you and Alexander shared... but you were out cold. I didn't know where you slept, so we ended up here. Do you really think that low of me, to assume I would take advantage of you in that way?" The hurt in his voice is evident.
"No, of course not," I tell him quickly. "I just... can't remember anything. And my head hurts. And-"
"There's a glass of water there beside you, I took the liberty of going to the kitchen myself. Do you not go and visit the servants down there? One of them almost had a heart attack at the sight of me," He chuckled. "How did you sleep?" He asks me, standing up and moving towards the bed.
"Good? I think? I mean, I can't remember anything, so I guess it must have been good."
There's a knock on the door.
"Fuck," I gasp. "Hide. They'll be looking for me, not you. No offence." I jump from the bed, gasping when I realise that I don't have shoes on. "Did you take off my shoes?"
He smirks. "There's someone about to barge in here and you're worried about the fact I touched your feet?" He shook his head, chuckling as he disappeared into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him.
"It's the Queen's Guards, open up!" A voice booms and I roll my eyes. My mother has always been a fan of the dramatics. "We're looking for the Princess!"
I fling the door open sleepily. "Well, you've found her."
The guard wasn't expecting to find me. I don't open the door too widely, because out of the corner of my eye, I see that Joe's tie still sits on the floor by the bed.
"What does my mother want?" I ask, adjusting my skirts.
"Ma'am, Miss Katherine is here to see you... your mother, now that we have found her, wants you to back to your study."
Miss Katherine is my tutor. Well, one of them.
"What day is it?" I ask the guard, and he tells me that it is Wednesday.
Great.
I have lessons today.
"Um... can you tell her to give me a minute?"
"Of course, your highness." He bows, and shuts the door. "Your mother won't wait forever, though." He tells me, and I just give him a sharp nod, before shutting the door.
My mother has eyes everywhere, I'm sure of it.
Joe walks out of the bathroom laughing, and I hiss at him to be quiet.
"I suppose that's our cue to return back to our duties," he tells me through a smirk. I can't help but laugh.

Katherine is waiting for me when I return to my chambers, my hair a mess and my dress wrinkled, but there is no time to change that now.
"Your highness." She says, curtsying. "I am here for your lesson... although it seems you are not."
"I hope that you do not mind, but I have not yet had time to get changed."
"Of course not." She tells me - but I can tell she's bothered by it. Of course she would be, she's one of my mother's closest friends. I welcome her into my room and sit down at my desk.
"What are we learning about today?" I say, trying to sound interested in whatever she will try to get me to study today. I'm surprised there are still things that I can learn from her, because she's already taught me everything. I can speak nine different languages, can practically recite the history of the city.
"Your mother would like me to start preparing you for your wedding ceremony."
Perfect.
Of course, I already know what happens because I have been taught it since I could talk.
The wedding ceremony is an event that will last three days.
The first day will consist of parties and balls. Dinners and celebrations. The second day will be when we get married. The third day will be the bedding ceremony. Of course, that's the worst day of them all. For me, at least.
It's the day which is when we are expected to try and conceive a child. They expect us to make love with someone we barely know.
"This afternoon there will be maids coming in to take your measurements for your dress."
"I don't get to pick my dress?" I ask, feeling my hopes sinking dramatically. I really don't have any choice.
"Of course not, your highness. Although, your mother asked me to ask if you wanted roses or lilies in your bouquet," She says, looking at me as if I have done something wrong. "Your dress has been picked out since the day you were born."
What? Why was I never told this?
Why do I have to get married?
This is unfair.
"We will start off today with your vows."
"Let me guess. They've already been written for me." I mutter, and she smiles.
"Yes, they have. By your mother. She does not believe that you can write the correct vows."
My mother, it appears, thinks that I cannot do anything correctly.
"What am I saying then?" I ask her, waiting for something over the top. Something that only my mother can write.
"I, Princess Taylor Alison Swift Of New York, take you, Prince Alexander George Crawford of Washington to be my lawfully wedded husband. Today, I give myself to you. I promise to lead along beside you, for better and for worse. I promise to show you love and support you in any decisions you shall make. I promise to give you someone to confide in, and comfort you in times of struggle and sorrow. For I am yours. From this moment, until the day I take my very last breath."
"I am not saying that." Over my dead body. I am not his. He does not own me. I am free, I am not owned by anyone.
"Your mother wants you to, Taylor."
"It makes me sound as if I am letting him own me!" I say, throwing my hands up in the air.
"A King does own his Queen." She mutters slowly, and I stand up.
"No one on this earth is going to be owning me. I am not something that can be owned." I pause. "You know what? I am feeling rather fatigued, I think we may have to continue this next time, if that is okay?"
She leaves the piece of paper with my vows written on it with me, and I sigh. I pick it up from the table, scrunching it into a ball, and stand up on my window seat. I open the window, and toss it through the air. If it hurts someone, oh well, bad luck.
I will not say those things.
He is not going to be owning me. I will not let myself be owned.
I am not a business deal that can be owned or sold. If I were a man, I wouldn't have this issue. I do not want to see Alexander or my mother today, for fear that I may... act too brashly.
I ask my guard to turn anyone away that tries to visit me. Except Joe. I sit in my little alcove by the window, staring out at the palace gardens.