(jaylor au) clandestine meetings in beautiful rooms

Lost Your Balance On A Tightrope

I refuse to sit alone with Alexander on the way home. I can't be bothered with him. I am left speechless when I see the number of our guards are here. I can't believe how many they brought to try and find me. Alexander says we are flying home  this time. Joe catches up with us at some stage before we leave the palace. He walks on the other side of me. For some stupid, ridiculous reason, my mind only chooses to focus on the fact that I have never flown before. I haven't been in a plane, high in the air before. I've never been anywhere to need a plane. I can't help but feel scared.

"Where is Austin?" I ask as we board the plane. We got taken by car to the plane itself, but I couldn't see him the entire way there. "Did someone kill him?"
"He is in another part of the plane." Alexander answers, not understanding the panic in my voice.
"No one is going to kill him, Taylor." Joe reassures me, and I nod.
"How long was I away for?"
"A few weeks. But you're home now. We can put this whole thing behind us." Alexander tells me, but he doesn't get it. And I don't have the energy to argue with him today.
"We got there as fast as we could." Joe tells me softly, and I nod.
"I know how difficult it must have been, until that broadcast it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Thank you for never giving up on me." I pause. "I'm so sorry about Corrine." He just looks down at the ground, and doesn't answer.
"Alexander, you can't hurt him." I say after a while, because I know that he's the one that would.
"Did he hurt you?" His voice is cold. He stared at me, and I can see that if I were to respond with yes, he'd explode.
I don't respond. My eyes stay firmly on my hands, which are planted firmly in my lap.
"Taylor. Answer me. Did he hurt you?" His voice is firmer now, and he moves to sit beside me. I flinch away. I don't want to be having this conversation with him. I don't want to tell him what happened. I don't want any of it.
"Alexander, leave her alone. This isn't what she nee-"
"Taylor, darling." Alexander completely dismisses Joe, and I wish that it was just us, and I wish Alexander wasn't trying to be a knight in shining, dazzling armour.
I still refuse to speak. He takes me by the shoulders and forces me to look at him.
"Did he hurt you?" He shakes me and I glare at him, shoving him off of me.
"I don't want to talk about it right now!" I hiss at him, because he's just relentless.
"I just want you to answer this question."
"We'll, I'm not going to." Alexander sits back in his seat, running his fingers through his hair.
"Alex. She's been through a lot over the last few weeks. Stop pressuring her. I'm sure she'll tell us when she's feeling better."
Alexander glares at Joe.
"I need you to tell me if he hurt you in any way." He continues, and I roll my eyes.
"Why? Why do you need to know? I've already said that don't want to talk about it."
"Please talk to me." He's trying to talk softer now, even tries to take my hand, but I pull it away from him.
"I don't want to talk about it, Alexander. Please leave me alone."
"Just say yes, or no."
"Stop pressuring me!"
"Fine."
He gets up and moves so he's sitting behind me, and my head falls into my hands. My body aches, a constant reminder of what I'm going through. I bite my lip, trying to remain calm.

I must fall asleep at some point. Alexander does not even try talking to me again. I just want Joe. He is the only person I want around me, the only person I want to talk to about... everything. I want his warmth, his love, his touch. The rest of the plane ride goes by slowly. I just... want to go home. I want to go and sit in the shower and feel it all washing off of me.
Abigail will help me. Perhaps she is the only person I can trust.

We are taken in a car, which I have to sit beside Alexander and do my best to keep myself together. I am awoken by Alexander tapping my shoulder. He doesn't even look in my direction, to which I am relieved. I don't want to tell him what happened, not when he's so clearly enraged by the sight of my brother. One final word and he might explode.
"We're here," he tells me bluntly. He doesn't even wait for me before he gets out of the car and walks inside. I can see everyone standing outside and seeing everyone makes me panic. Guards are at my side immediately, and I can hear the cries of my mother.
"Taylor? Taylor!" She yells and I feel her arms around my neck but I don't want to see her. If she ever finds out that I miscarried, she'll be so disappointed. "Are you... alright?"
I pull away from her and nod. "I'm fine."
"What's wrong? Sweetheart?"
"She won't want support." Alexander grumbles, coming back out to the car.
"That's not what I said," I turn around and glare at him. "I said that I wasn't going to talk about it with you."
For once, my mother doesn't reprimand me for talking back to him in such a way.