(jaylor au) clandestine meetings in beautiful rooms

Leaving Like A Father

There's a certain fire in my soul that I have never felt before, a flame in my bones that wasn't there before.

And it's kicked in just in time because the next few hours after my mother leaves are a sort of chaos that I've never felt before. I've never quite experienced the rush of preparing for a great escape that must remain a secret. Whenever anyone enters the room, it's a scramble to hide our papers, the bags that we have packed for us to take.
Abigail, Blake and Selena make it their job to wait outside, in the hallway and distract anyone who tries to enter. We are all playing our own little part in the preparation, we are all helping and making sure that whatever happens, we are ready for it.
We have to be ready. If this plan fails, there will be no coming back from it. We might as well be dead. Too much can go wrong, but we've tried to prepare for every little detail. It's all we can do. And eventually, it's going to get to the point where all we can do is sit around and wait.

I do not know what to feel at the moment. For the first time in my life, I have the chance to be free. For the first time, I will get to leave it all behind me.
"What are you thinking about?" Joe finds me sitting in the wardrobe, looking up at all the dresses that I've worn throughout the last few years. Each dress is different, has its own story. But so many of them involve pain and suffering.
I look up at him as he sits down beside me.
"Freedom," I answer, and he takes my hand.
"Do you know, when we get out of here when we are safe and sound when we have a house and different lives... I'm going to make sure that we have a piano. And I'm going to make sure that there's room for you to paint, for big canvases and paintbrushes and everything else you may need." He leans in and kisses my cheek, as soft as the touch of a butterfly wing. "And we will always know exactly where the other person is because of course, the house isn't going to be huge. There will be wildflowers everywhere and occasionally we will have to pull out the weeds, but we will be free."
I smile at his words. At his picture that he's painting in my mind.
"I have a feeling that it's not going to be that easy." My smile fades.
"I will make sure it is," he squeezes my hand.
"Sooner or later, you know that we're going to have to help destroy the system," I whisper so quietly that I question whether he's heard me. "Regardless of what happens tomorrow, we're going to have to fight back. We are going to have to help."
"I know we are." He leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. I think that might be one of my absolute favourite things he does - I can't quite seem to believe it's truly possible that I could love him so much. The way he understands, the way that he trusts me. The way that I know he will listen to everything I have to say. The way he can kiss me, but also encourage me to speak up and fight for the things that I believe in. I thought that people like that only existed in the books stacked on my bookshelves. I didn't realise that it was possible to have someone love me for everything that I am, not try to change the things I am not.
"If things don't go to plan, we could die," I murmur. "And I think that should scare me. But it doesn't, Joe. Is that weird?"
"No." He tells me as he brushes my hair away from my face so that he can see me. "Because I would rather be killed than be forced into a world where I cannot outwardly express how much I am in love with you." His words are quiet, so softly spoken and gentle, that I begin to worry if it may be him that unravels me completely. "I would rather die trying to give you a better life than be a reason that you stay in this palace."
"Joe-" I turn to him, trying to decide if he is meaning what I think he is.
He shakes his head. "Shush. I'm serious. If I have to die to make sure that you get to the safehouse, I will not hesitate."
"No." I turn to face him, clutching his face desperately in my hands. "No. You are not to do that. You can't do that-"
"Taylor, Taylor. Baby-"
"Don't call me baby... not after you've just said that you will put my life before your own." I don't let go of his cheeks, don't let him go. "Because I don't want freedom if you're not there. I'd rather stay trapped here in a loveless marriage, with too many children and-"
He presses a finger to my own, getting me to stop. "You aren't going to stay here, whatever happens. I will make sure that you get out."
"You are not going to die." I can't stop the tear that spills over and rolls down my cheek. "I will not let you die."
"These things happen, and I want you to be prepared for-"
"No. I don't need to prepare, because I know that it's not going to happen." My hand are still cupping his face, and I lean forward and kiss him. "I will not let you die. We are both getting out of here alive, and if you die, then I don't want to see the world. I don't want to see any of it if you're not coming along for the adventure."